Wii Speak?

nocomment_wii1.jpgHave you tried to find a Wii in stock lately? Any Luck? Didn’t think so. It is obvious that the Wii doesn’t need anymore bells and whistles to convince eager consumers to open up their wallets, but that doesn’t mean that the big wigs over at Nintendo don’t have a few more tricks up their wrist banded, Wiimote dangling sleeves.

Fortune magazine took a look inside the remote that is turning the world upside down, and in doing so may have dialed up the volume on a technology that Nintendo would have preferred remain on “mute”.

It seems the remote has a chip built in that can take human speech and turn it into data. Specifics have yet to be determined and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that a boat load of premature conclusions are just around the corner.

Does the remote include a microphone? Will it be an extra available for purchase in the near future? If I speak to it softly will it purr like a kitten? Not so fast people! Has the thought yet crossed your mind that the chip may have nothing to do with gaming at all?
wiimote1.jpg
We here at ripten have our own experts* who have been working round the clock to crack this case, and they aren’t about to give up on the notion that Nintendo is using this hidden technology to spy on us from their corporate headquarters. Thats right, secretly entertaining themselves between meetings at our expense. Laughing as we throw our backs out with a collective scream having just experienced 10 rounds of punching thin air, more commonly referred to as “Wii Boxing”. You may not agree, but this is our story and we are sticking to it.

* delusional interns who demand that we refer to them experts.

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  • Steve

    It’s been out, ‘almost’ a year, and with all the hype, they still have yet to utilize every feature they have? Nintendo did well this time around.

  • Larso V

    At last, the truth finally comes out. The Big N has tried so hard to fool us, but it seems as though someone’s finally cracked the code.

    It is just as feared – Nintendo has in the works a nefarious scheme for world domination which begins with the Wii. First, they’ll record our private conversations. They’ll listen, they’ll read between the lines. There’s no stopping it – it’s too late. The number of machines selling monthly will only rise from this point, and it’s safe to say that by this time next year, we’ll all be done for.

    Once they’ve acquired our credit card numbers and spouse’s names, they’ll begin the identity theft/rape regime that will not end for one thousand years. Just you wait – you’ll be quietly entertaining yourself one day in front of the death machine (Wii Console) and you’ll be surprised by a knock at the door. Before you can answer, they’ll have rammed the door down. The Nintendo police will swarm in, and have sex with your wife, in front of you.

    Once they’ve taken your manhood, they will have won.

  • Kevin

    In response to the person above me.

    Thats what she said.