June 8, 1984. What I call the greatest day in entertainment history. The moment when the world became aware that comedy didn’t have to be just some low budget, visually uninspired tripe. It could be spectacular. It could contain ideas and imagination. That child-friendly merchandising and dick jokes COULD in fact, exist side by side within the same film. Dogs and cats. Living together. Mass hysteria! June 8th, 1984 brought us Ghostbusters. My life would never be the same.
Pardon the following rant, I do have a point. I believe there may presently be a generation of ‘people’ (drones in my opinion, but I’ll play nice for today) raised on the pretty colors and shiny things that MTV and the FOOD Network have defecated upon the toilet of our souls. I am not innocent in all of this. I enjoy kaleidoscopes, freshly polished spoons, candy wrappers, and Brittany Spear’s once finely shaped dumper. All fun little time wasters that held my attention long enough for the exec’s at Viacom to have almost removed all logical thought from my brain.
I seem to be in the minority on this one. For the streets are still littered with ‘rebels’ who wear pants that go no higher than the taint. Hat’s shifted to the 3 O’clock position. Maybe these morons have uttered the word ‘bling’, and weren’t trying to be ironic. They, most likely, have a tribal tattoo. The young. The stupid. If only they had been alive during the hay-day of Ghostbusters! The lost youth of today would realize that a sly smile, and sarcasm are the two greatest assets a man (or man god, in the case of Peter Venkman) can utilize. From picking up women to insulting those not worthy of my time (which is just about everyone), wit is key. Bill Murray is the sarcastic idol who has paved the way for my joy… at the expense of others.
If you’ve made it this far without crying, that means you wear your pants waist-high and appreciate four men in jumpsuits talking about giant Twinkies. My brothers and sisters, we have waited a long time for this moment. The announcement of Ghostbusters 3 — in video game form. We have been teased with a third sequel for almost 17 long years now. At one point, Sony was so close to having Chris Farley and Ben Stiller lead a new GB team, that only the Grim Reapers’ drunken hand brought the pre-production to a standstill, when Farley consumed a baby Walrus laced with cocaine.
The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
I am ecstatic on dozens of levels. First off, it’s Ghostbusters! Only a soulless monster who pokes infant Panda’s with a 10′ caddleprod wouldn’t be excited to have the original cast (even Pekker is back!) together for writing and voice duties on the project. Bill Murray! Dan Ackroyd! Harold Ramis(the black guy)! If only Rick Moranis hadn’t become a shack-dwelling unibomber of some sort, life would be perfect… for fans and his potential victims.
In reality, this is the best route for the Ghostbusters series to go if we want the involvement of the original cast. Did you SEE Mr. Ramis in Knocked Up? He may be one of the funniest directors in show-biz history, but at this point in time he could do the motion capture for the digital Stay Puft Marshmallow Man without a fat-suit. It’s nothing personal, I love chocolate as well Harold, and you are too funny and successful to worry about petty things like physical attractiveness. Point being, these men are already very old, extremely tired, and having them expose their funny bones from behind a cushy studio mic is better for their health and insurance premiums. Besides, I want the vision of a young, thin, full head of hair Dan (Dr Ray Stantz) Akroyd to live on, even if it is in the vacuum of video gaming.
All of the adulation I have bestowed so far hasn’t even begun to realize the actual GAMING aspect a project of this magnitude represents. While the Ghostbusters do have a history of video game hits and misses (hit=Commodore 64, Sega Genesis, miss=everything else) the very premise has been borrowed by dozens of games over the past two decades. Even Luigi himself strapped on a proton pack for the Gamecube’s launch. The idea of taking on the undead in gaming is nothing new. Heck, zombies are more popular today than during the Red Scare thanks to Shawn of the Dead, Resident Evil, and Dick Chayney’s general demeanor.
Still from early footage of the new game
Ghostbusters 3 has been announced for every major console, but let’s face it, like a Skywalker-yielded Lightsabre, a photon-stick belongs squarely in my hands by use of the Wii-mote, with the nunchuck being tossed out in front of me ala the spectre-trap. Co-op mode is planned, so now there’s the potential for 2-Wii-players to avoid crossing the streams, holding a poltergeist in place, while throwing out a trap, struggling back and forth to hold the spook! My geeky sense is tingling!
I have waited a long time for news this incredible. I will await patiently for fall 2008. Until then, not even a Halo 4 or Beyond Good and Evil sequel announcement could get me this ecstatic. In fact, only one property could stir my emotions to an equal extent… a Smokey and the Bandit MMO. I’ll get my mustache ready.