Top Ten Most Badass Weapons in Gaming History – # 1 The Cerebral Bore
by James Fleming on November 21, 2007 at 9:37 pm
I like my brain. It has, along with my other primary sensory apparatuses, always allowed me to do lots of useful stuff. Math has always been fun. I love motor skills, and have always found my sense of equilibrium to be particularly useful when attempting to walk.
So the idea of anything entering my skull with the sole intention of turning my mind into gelatin has always been a source of concern. Ever since Khan put that hungry little earwig in Chekov’s cranium in Star Trek II, I’ve been reticent about interstellar travel. Turok 2: Seeds of Evil merely clinched it.
The #1 most badass weapon in videogame history is called the Cerebral Bore. True to its name, it bore a gaping hole in your cerebral cortex while it tore through your noggin like a possessed Cuisinart. And what could one do as the bore carried on with its objective?
Not much. Long division was out. Impending brain death pretty much inhibited that most leisurely activity of breathing. That basically left you with defecating your tighty whiteys and calling it a day.
Turok 2 was a good game for its time. Sure, it didn’t have the x-factor that made Goldeneye so memorable and its ports weren’t as good as they could have been, but the game had a decent single player campaign and its interesting multiplayer concepts kept fans of console shooters more than happy back in 1998.
But what really made an impression in the minds of N64 gamers (see what I did there?) is the simple fact that Turok 2 had a weapon that ate your frickin’ skull. Once locked on and deployed, the aggressor could casually lay down his paddle, smile at his soon-to-be-dead friend and bask in his enemy’s looming frustration as the grinding sound ravaged his/her melon on the split screen. Many a controller was smashed as a result.
The Cerebral Bore gets the top spot for its complete disdain of the pursuit of knowledge and existentialism. Not only did it kill you, but it did it slowly and in a way that would make Eli Roth squirm in his seat.
The ancient graphics and control scheme make this game difficult to revisit (like many of that generation), so this writer has his fingers crossed that the bore will make an appearance in next year’s entry in the Turok franchise.
Honorable mentions:
The Portal Gun – Portal
Heavenly Sword – Heavenly Sword
The Golden Gun – 007 Goldeneye
Yellow Snowballs – Southpark: The Video Game
Top Ten Most Badass Weapons List: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1
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- Top Ten Most Badass Weapons in Gaming History – # 9 The Blades of Chaos
- Top Ten Most Badass Weapons in Gaming History – # 6 The Railgun
- Top Ten Most Badass Weapons in Gaming History – # 4 The BFG 9000
- Top Ten Most Badass Weapons in Gaming History – # 5 The Chainsaw Bayonet
- Top Ten Most Badass Weapons in Gaming History – # 3 The Gravity Gun
- Top Ten Most Badass Weapons in Gaming History – #7 The Farsight XR-20
- Top Ten Most Badass Weapons in Gaming History – # 8 Cloud’s Sword
- Top Ten Most Badass Weapons in Gaming History – #2 The Darkness
13 Comments » |
on November 22, 2007 1:04 am
Simply put, I guessed it from the beginning which would be no. 1. What else? Maybe the Cerebral Possessor from turok 3(same effect, just you can control the victim for 5 sec before it exploded). Other than that, i can’t think of any other one to top that weapon. Forget what everyone says about turok 2, rage wars(best multiplayer game still in my opinion), and 3 (evolution, sadly, sucked balls compared to the others, xcept for the quad-shotgun), the turoks are some of the best games period. I have great hope for the new one but i still hope they don’t f it up
on December 29, 2007 9:08 pm
It’s the sound of the thing that i remember the most. I believe it wont be making a come back in the new revision of turok, neither is the option of being a raptor in multi player.
Guess I’d better go break out my 64 again.
on January 1, 2008 9:44 pm
The Redeemer didn’t even get an honorable mention? Ouch!
on January 22, 2008 1:16 pm
This weapon is a great number one :) even though the Turok games aren’t my favourites, I still feel the list is missing some other classic stuff – Slayer from Perfect Dark, anyone?
And since The Darkness was included, why not FarCry’s terrifying Predator?
on January 30, 2008 7:45 am
I think its a great list… I think one that was left out or should of at least got an honorable mention, the Soul Reaver from the Legacy of Kain series. Your list is good though I just thought of that one because the whole 5 game series is based around it.
on January 30, 2008 7:46 am
Also that messed up little cube thing from DOOM 3
on May 9, 2008 5:19 pm
Good list. Although… The top three should be as follows:
#3 The Gravity Gun (200 mph cinder block, comin’ atcha)
#2 The Chainsaw Bayonet(greatest idea ever)
#1 The BFG (I mean, with a name like that… how could it be lower?)
on May 29, 2008 12:07 am
dude? the masamune? how isnt a 6foot tall katana badass!
on October 8, 2008 7:09 pm
WTF? no red shell? seriously people…
on November 17, 2008 11:56 pm
Goldeneye’s RCP-90
Nuff said.
on February 12, 2009 12:59 pm
………………………………………………………………………NO!!! no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no…….the raygun doesnt even appear, bah to this list
on March 16, 2009 5:23 pm
The Master sword should have been on this list somewhere. At the very least an honorable mention.
on July 7, 2009 1:24 pm
dude, jesus, did nobody play GTA? ever? You can hit people with a fucking dildo!!!