The 16 Bits of Christmas: A Gamer’s Guide to Christmas Decoration
You’re finally prepared. The tree took a while, but it’s now snug in the corner. Above the fireplace there’s a row of little red stockings eagerly awaiting the day’s presents. The presents, in fact, are really close: hidden cheekily in a cupboard right behind your tree – the one place your family won’t look. It seems like you can relax…
Well, no you can’t! Ripten’s here to make sure your work is never done, with a showcase of the finest Christmas decorations money can buy!
Your tree’s first. Sure, baubles and a star look nice, but they don’t look cool. I’ll tell you what’s cool: videogames, and the guys at GayGamer are displaying a tree of epic-coolness.
You’ve got Castlevania, Donkey Kong, Super Mario – all the big Nintendo names are present and so very correct on this man’s tree. Good work, Mr Teknomcr! Before you go forth in search of these Perler-Bead delights, take a moment to enjoy the shy Racoon-suit Mario tucked away at the bottom left of the tree. Awww.
Tree done? Good. But you’re not done, fool! The house, man, the house! Right now, people are walking past your home and not knowing what a huge fan of gaming you are! To fix it, you should place an army of the bad boys in the title image on your roof.
Whoever decided to mould the starter-Pokemon and Pikachu from mesh and LEDs is a genius. These look fantastic. Now, they are only available in Japan, so you will have to sacrifice someone’s presents to get there. Either pick your least favourite child (you all have one) or the person your happy to take on in a fist-fight (which, happily, could also be your least favourite child).
O.K. What else? Everything’s done. Well, walk over to your tree. Think you are hardcore enough yet? Well, I can tell you: no. If your feet can touch the floor then you’re failing – because your floor should be covered in Super Mario Mushroom Plushies.
Check out those Goombas, that’s a bunch of fly guys. Next to them, those mushrooms look like bitches. In fact, they are bitches compared to the gangsters in the background; I’d pop a cap in them for standing in the front.
Now you have a sweet pad. Because Ripten said so. For more tips on livin’ fly, you can check out the Ripten’s Holiday Guide — coming soon.
