The 12 Days of Christmas: Revised for Gamers - Day 4

by Jonathan Zungre on December 17, 2007 at 11:45 pm

Is any song of the Christmas season less relatable than the Twelve Days of Christmas? Since when does Christmas have 12 days? How wealthy would you have to be to afford gifts like 5 gold rings or 12 pipers piping?

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Old gift: 4 calling birds

Analysis: 4 gifts you will eventually have to bury.

New Gift: 4 HDTV’s

Analysis: The building blocks for the perfect game room.

Ok, you’re going to have to bear with me here, because this is going to be complete nerdage. Actually what made me start doing this 12 days of Christmas revised for gamers was the obsession I’ve had lately for creating an epic game room I’d call the Game Vault.

The main feature of the Game Vault would be its 4 HDTV’s optimally placed for competitive gaming. So for the fourth day of christmas, if i really did have a wealthy person bestowing gifts upon me, I’m taking four 50” 1080p Samsung beasts.

Why four? Because in my mind it’s the optimum number for local multi player games. Four Xbox 360’s, four HDTV’s, four leather couches, four bags of Cool Ranch Dorritos, four sturdy gnarled oak coffee tables, and four teams of four for Team Slayer on Valhalla. It’s what I dream of guys.

The four TV’s would be arranged in what I think would be the optimum one room set up: the “I Form”. This diagram, which looks to be drawn by a toddler (but was actually drawn by me trying my hardest) will give you a glimpse of the possible greatness.

Legend:

A: HDTV “I” form set up

B: Leather Couches

C. Bank Vault entrance

D. Over-dramatic Industrial Switch

The “I Form” provides some seclusion for each team of four to plan their strategy and guard against dirty screen watching while also providing enough proximity to yell insults and scream at your friends.

And, what would be even more Johnny Quest amazing? When I reach for the beat up industrial box on the wall, and flip the over-dramatic looking red switch inside, setting in motion the motorized tracks attached to each TV! The 4 border-less HDTV’s then form a giant screen, and the couches line up into theatre seating for single player games, Rock Band sessions, or some Wii sports with the chicas.

I’m also thinking some bamboo or ancient japanese weapons to accent the darkly painted walls, original Frank Miller art, and an adjoining kitchen for the purpose of speed and easy access. Throw on an authentic circular bank vault for a door, and I think we have the perfect gaming room.

As for names, I’m leaning towards the “Game Vault” or “Post-Apocalyptic Game Haven” because of my love for the Fallout series, but with a game room like this, the name could really be anything.

You know, maybe 16 screens would be better. That way every team member would get their own screen. What am i saying? Lets not get crazy here!

12 Days of Christmas, for Gamers: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12