Ripten Holiday Guide – PC Edition

by Josh Pankratz on December 21, 2007 at 1:52 am

The PC gamer is probably the hardest person to shop for. We are a well informed and well connected bunch. If it’s out, we probably already own it, or at the very least we know if it’s worth buying or not. With that in mind, this guide is tailored specifically for you. I won’t insult your intelligence, because lets be honest, we know damn well your Grandma isn’t reading this article.

Headset

#10 Turtle Beach X-52 : $79.95

Give the gift of gab this Christmas! You know that guy on Vent who always sounds like he has a d*ck in his throat? Get him a Turtle Beach Ear Force X-52. The 5.1 surround sound built into these, are worth the price of admission in and of themselves. When coupled with a flexible boom mic, the X-52 becomes the definitive gaming headset to own this holiday season. It’s made for those long nights sitting alone at your desk in TeamSpeak, talking to your E-friends about the latest season of Heroes…or maybe that’s just me.

z5300 #9 Logitech THX Z-5300 5.1

Pissed off because your console gaming friends keep bragging about their 5.1 surround sound being better than your piece of shit computer speakers? Grab the Logitech THX Z-5300 5.1 setup, your PC will become your new hub for all kinds of media. Movies and music will sound amazing, while you gain the upper hand in heated Counter Strike matches. If you’ve never played with surround sound, now is the time, it’s not a gimmick, directional audio will save your ass in shooters, period.

Gaming Router #8 D-Link DGL-4100 : $94.99

Nothing will take the egg out of your nog faster than a marathon session of port opening on Christmas Eve. While I’m not sure about the eggnog analogy, I am sure about opening ports, it sucks, plain and simple. If you’re new to wireless routers, let me explain what I mean. Each piece of software uses a different port , in order to play pc games, or to play wirelessly on your game consoles, you have to have the said port opened. Some routers come with some specific ports already opened. So if you are ever in Best Buy looking at boxes, and you notice some say Xbox Live ready and some don’t, all it means is that the Live port comes pre opened on the router. That’s why the D-Link DGL-4100 is a handy product for hardcore gamers. It comes with most of the ports for your favorite games already open. Trust me, it saves allot of time and hassle, especially if you end up buying more than five PC games a year.

dualstick #7 X-Arcade Dual Stick : $129.95

If you haven’t played any MAME games yet, stop reading this guide and go download the emulator. It’s free, and it has all the old arcade games you played growing up. Alien vs. Predator, Die Hard, and Street Fighter– After you grow tired of playing on your keyboard, the next step is to upgrade to an X-Arcade Dual Stick. The buttons feel just how you would expect from an arcade machine, and it also has two sticks for multiplayer bouts. Just add some pizza grease and you’ll be reliving the nostalgic button mashings of your youth.

LogitechG15 #6 Logitech G15 Gaming Keyboard : $61.99

A keyboard’s a keyboard, that’s what I thought before I bought a G15. While I admittedly sound like a used car salesman, don’t let that distract from the fact that the G15 is amazing for gaming. Being able to see IMs on the LCD screen, or using a macro key in World of Warcraft are some of the most intuitive usages of keyboard applications to date. The back lit letters for night gaming, and the ability to lock the Windows key show just how tailored this keyboard is to gamers. Hardware buffs may notice I included the picture for the older model of the G15, that’s because if you can get your hands on one, it’s superior to the new version. The newer model has fewer macro keys, a smaller LCD, and no flap to close the screen(Leaving it on overnight with the screen on is annoying if in the same room).

#5 Gametap

Gametap has always been one of those things that sounded good on paper, but never panned out in practice. However, with current titles such as Clive Barker’s Jericho, Sam and Max, Far Cry, and Infernal–GameTap’s monthly fee starts to look more and more like a bargain. Now don’t get me wrong, GameTap still has a ways to go to sift through all the piles of raunchy shit that they currently have available, not every title is worth the download. Still the package as a whole still delivers the goods, and at $59.95 a year, the price of one console game, GameTap is an easily recommendable product for PC gamers this year.

#4 V1 CPU Cooler

Get the gift of silence this holiday season with Thermaltake’s V1 CPU cooler. If you’re downloading videos and music, a silent PC is a must. With the Thermaltake V1 you can leave your rig on overnight without it sounding like a derailed freight train. Your adult video collection will grow tenfold, trust us on that one. The Thermaltake CL-P0401 supports these socket types respectfully…

Intel Core 2 Extreme / Core 2 Quad / Core 2 Duo (socket LGA775)
Pentium D (socket LGA775)
Pentium 4 (socket LGA775)
Pentium (socket LGA775)
Celeron D (socket LGA775)
Celeron (socket LGA775)
Athlon 64 FX (socket AM2 / 939)
Athlon 64 X2 (socket AM2 /939)
Athlon 64 (socket AM2 / 939 / 754)
Sempron (socket AM2 / 754)

#3 The Witcher

One of the things we’ve come to relish about our platform of choice is the mature nature of the games developed for it. The Witcher is a prime example of an adult RPG that transcends traditional high fantasy fare. Developed by CDPROJEKT Red Studio in Poland, the Witcher has a truly unique take on the genre, introducing sexual scenarios into gameplay, each of which are truly more suave than a pot of “hot coffee”. The fraternizing with pixilated honeys isn’t the only thing this European developed title brings to the table. The combat is top notch, this in culmination with a deeply engaging story with plot twists based solely on your choices throughout, makes The Witcher the sleeper hit to own this Christmas.

#2 Dell 2707 WFP

Bigger is better, a tired cliché resonates true in so far as monitors are concerned. The bigger it is, the bigger the chance of you seeing an opponent that you otherwise might have missed. If you’re building the ultimate rig, you can’t finish with anything less than a Dell 2707 WFP. After playing on a normal sized screen, and then seeing what it’s like on a 24” high resolution monitor, you won’t want to go back. The drawback is that with increased pixels needing to be rendered, the overhead load is allot higher for your GPU to process, making framerates dip considerably. So make sure your graphics card is up to date before asking for this 1920×1200 native res beast.

#1 Nvidia 8800GT

Even though it’s doubtful that your cheap ass will be buying your own presents, it’s always good to conserve resources wherever possible. The cheaper each present is, the more you get!–We know how it works. That said, the new 8800GT has the best of both worlds, in terms of sheer processing power and a price point that won’t break the bank. At least that’s the theory, we scoured the web to find out the raw numbers behind each card currently on the market—I think you’d be surprised by the results, I know we were…