Is any song of the Christmas season less relatable than the Twelve Days of Christmas? Since when does Christmas have 12 days? How wealthy would you have to be to afford gifts like 5 gold rings or 11 pipers piping?

On the Eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Old Gift: 11 pipers piping

Analysis: Only if they are piping on ocarinas.

New Gift: 11 Gaming Gifts you won’t find this Holiday Season

1. Assassin’s Creed Hoodies: No one looks cooler than Altair. A lot of it has to do with running up buildings and a lot of it has to do with that sweet hood. They can’t help us with the buildings but they could help us with an Altair-ish hoodie.

2. Nintendo Power Glove - Wide Receiver Edition: I hate the Patriots. And I especially can’t stand the mind boggling catches of Randy Moss, but if he had football receiver gloves that looked like Nintendo’s most memorable game peripheral, i may have a change of heart.

3. Duke Nukem Coffee Mugs: Unlike a lot of you, I totally geeked over the Duke Nukem teaser trailer because I love Duke like I love my taffy. Put his face on any cheesy thing, and it will be bought by yours truly. Especially if at the bottom of my cup of coffee displays the words “Blow it out your ass!” Good morning to you too, Duke!!

4. “I want to have Infinity Ward’s children”T-shirts: I can’t speak for everyone else, but I love COD4 and would proudly wear a shirt stating it to the world.

5. Myspace-y Xbox Live Gamer Profiles: I want to meet girls on Xbox live! Come on Microsoft, we already have one of the most important things in common. Bill Gates — hook us up!

6. Microsoft Death-Tunes: Songs that you can buy on Xbox Live that only trigger when you see the 3 red lights of hardware failure. I’d like mine to be something from My Chemical Romance, but the Doors, Mozart’s Requiem, or any type of music that helps you to get past the loss of your loved one would be fine.

7. Super Mario Galaxy Baby Mobile: Or maybe just a “baby mobile” mode on Galaxy. That way I can hang an LCD in the ceiling corner and mesmerize the kid for hours.

8. A Nintendo Wii: Yeah.

9. An HDMI Output Upgrade for the Old Xbox 360’s: All the new Xbox’s have them. Even the cheap Arcade version, and I firmly believe that we shouldn’t be permanently stuck with component cables just because we bought our 360’s early. Support your early adopters Microsoft — Apple did!

10. A Presidential Candidate That Can School Me Online: I want to be pwned by Mitt Romney. I want to be called a n00b by Barack Obama. You’ll get my respect — and you may get my vote.

11. A Socially Acceptable and Wearable Samurai Sword: Remember when Ashton Kutcher started wearing the trucker hat and it became in vogue? I want some up and coming star to start donning a Katana with their evening wear — then maybe I’ll stop getting kicked out of Christmas parties.

12 Days of Christmas, for Gamers: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12

Tags: 12-days-of-christmas-Gaming, Video-Gaming-12-days-of-christmas

• The 12 Days of Christmas, Revised for Gamers: Day 6
• The 12 Days of Christmas, Revised for Gamers: Day 5
• The 12 Days of Christmas, Revised for Gamers: Day 8
• The 12 Days of Christmas: Revised for Gamers - Day 2
• The 12 Days of Christmas: Revised for Gamers - Day 4
• The 12 Days of Christmas, Revised for Gamers: Day 9
• The 12 Days of Christmas: Revised for Gamers - Day 3
• The 12 Days of Christmas, Revised for Gamers: Day 10

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