A little TV background noise while working is usually harmless, but when the Roger Clemens Steroid Congressional Hearing plays through your mind as you admire newly released images of Street Fighter IV characters, bad things can happen.
While sorting through GDC emails and press releases, I randomly found myself listening in to some of the comments being made during the hearing. The majority revolved around steroid use by professional athletes and the effect it has on impressionable children — because we all know that little Jimmy wants to grow up big and strong just like Mark McGwire.
So these thoughts are making their way through my head (along with the always present dancing elves and angry mushrooms) as I click open an email from Capcom. Ten or so images of an immensely muscular character by the name of Abel stare me in the face, and it hits me, videogame characters have become excessively muscular in the past five years or so. Surely they must also negatively impact our “impressionable” youth.
If Congress is genuinely concerned about impressionable children idolizing overly manly men, why stop at pro athletes? Videogame developers inject countless character models with unnecessary muscle mass each day, so how about asking the man behind the mouse to scale back the definition on E Honda’s Abs?
The main characters in Gears of War look like they drink HGH milkshakes for breakfast. Ken and Ryu, of Street Fighter IV, look like they’ve been shooting each other up with roids nonstop since Street Fighter III.
In an article published by USA Today in 2003, the publication reported that 47% of high school males participate in sports — a number that has held steady for nearly a decade. In contrast, according to an article published in 2000 by the Chicago Medill News Service, 84% of all teens play video games, of which 92% are male.
So come on Congress, put that juice caboose into high gear and spend some more of our hard earned tax money, because little Jimmy just may tear down that Mark McGwire poster and decide he wants to grow up big and strong like Ryu!
Update: This is an over the top piece meant to poke fun at the steroid scandal, wasted tax payer dollars, and overly muscled videogame characters. That said, please refrain from forwarding this to a certain lawyer with the initials JT — he may not get the joke.
