Roid Rage: Could Videogame Physique Be The Next Stop For Congress?
by Chad Lakkis on February 15, 2008 at 5:11 am
A little TV background noise while working is usually harmless, but when the Roger Clemens Steroid Congressional Hearing plays through your mind as you admire newly released images of Street Fighter IV characters, bad things can happen.
While sorting through GDC emails and press releases, I randomly found myself listening in to some of the comments being made during the hearing. The majority revolved around steroid use by professional athletes and the effect it has on impressionable children — because we all know that little Jimmy wants to grow up big and strong just like Mark McGwire.
So these thoughts are making their way through my head (along with the always present dancing elves and angry mushrooms) as I click open an email from Capcom. Ten or so images of an immensely muscular character by the name of Abel stare me in the face, and it hits me, videogame characters have become excessively muscular in the past five years or so. Surely they must also negatively impact our “impressionable” youth.
If Congress is genuinely concerned about impressionable children idolizing overly manly men, why stop at pro athletes? Videogame developers inject countless character models with unnecessary muscle mass each day, so how about asking the man behind the mouse to scale back the definition on E Honda’s Abs?
The main characters in Gears of War look like they drink HGH milkshakes for breakfast. Ken and Ryu, of Street Fighter IV, look like they’ve been shooting each other up with roids nonstop since Street Fighter III.
In an article published by USA Today in 2003, the publication reported that 47% of high school males participate in sports — a number that has held steady for nearly a decade. In contrast, according to an article published in 2000 by the Chicago Medill News Service, 84% of all teens play video games, of which 92% are male.
So come on Congress, put that juice caboose into high gear and spend some more of our hard earned tax money, because little Jimmy just may tear down that Mark McGwire poster and decide he wants to grow up big and strong like Ryu!
Update: This is an over the top piece meant to poke fun at the steroid scandal, wasted tax payer dollars, and overly muscled videogame characters. That said, please refrain from forwarding this to a certain lawyer with the initials JT — he may not get the joke.
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15 Comments » |
on February 15, 2008 5:48 am
So we’re giving them ideas now.. yeah.. thanks for that.
on February 15, 2008 6:05 am
David,
I will update the ending, just for you.
Chad-
on February 15, 2008 6:16 am
I figured it wasn’t serious, but still, I wouldn’t give these people ideas.
on February 15, 2008 6:36 am
why, someone should seriously do something about all those steroid infused jocklots and after that they can work on womens self esteem issues and mandate all gaming boobs be smaller.
on February 15, 2008 7:26 am
I think men are portrayed more unrealistically in games than women are, but we certainly don’t cry about it and fell inadequate because our pecs don’t show through our jackets. People need to get over it.
on February 15, 2008 7:30 am
Speak for yourself Dan, my pecs can bench press a truck.
on February 15, 2008 7:33 am
Whoa, you need to use your pecs? I can lift a truck with my soul patch.
on February 15, 2008 8:10 am
I can lift a truck with my ****!
on February 15, 2008 3:14 pm
*benches the bar, ftw*
on February 15, 2008 7:22 pm
Your piece seemed to rile a few feathers of gamers unacquainted to satire, but I fear that unless this post goes down soon a certain JT might turn blind to the sarcasm and find his inspiration for the next diatribe against gaming, pun and satire intended.
PC
Video Game Writer: gamertell
on February 15, 2008 10:00 pm
Pulkit,
Videogame publishers, much like professional sports leagues, are fixated on creating a marketable high quality product that generates revenue. Home runs attract viewers, and jacked up cool looking character models attract gamers.
Many things impact the youth market, and it should be up to parents to instill values and teach their children right from wrong — not Congress.
Chad-
on February 17, 2008 12:11 am
I thought that the muscle fad ended in the 90s, and androgynous lady-boys were in vogue, but I guess the FPS phenomenon brought it back. And not to taint the site with politicks, but isn’t it sad that our country as a whole is more concerned with congressional hearings on steroid abuse than they are with the abuse of power coming from the White House?
on September 4, 2008 2:51 pm
Uhhhh, characters from Street fighter and other franchises have always been buff…it’s just that they happen to look more realistic on these next-gen systems.
on December 12, 2008 1:08 pm
hasn’t ryu been that big forever?
on May 30, 2009 1:29 am
Children aren't that impressionable or stupid. The ones that are? Well, they obviously need some help period. For one, point out the obvious fact that video game character models aren't physically real.
and for the record, Scallion has a point "I thought that the muscle fad ended in the 90s, and androgynous lady-boys were in vogue"
I'm surprised you're not freaking out about boys dressing increasingly feminine and "metro" in schools but I'll go ahead and assume you know nothing about contemporary youth culture or how children think if you write an article that would actually make this an "issue"