Blizzard Announces New World of Warcraft Hero Class: The Bard

When I read this headline yesterday, I came very close to needing to change my pants. Thankfully, I realized the error of the situation.

Blizzard is known for their fondness of April Fool’s shenanigans, and once again taunted the gullible with glimpses of what might be if the twisted minds of Blizzard employees were really set loose upon the gaming world. It took me a few seconds to make the connection, and when I did my heart sank.

Oh, how I wish April Fools didn’t exist.

According to the WoW website: “Armed with a trusty axe, killer riffs, and a ton of attitude, the guitar-wielding bard is the second hero class to be introduced in the upcoming Wrath of the Lich King expansion for World of Warcraft.”

Basically, you mix Guitar Hero and WoW (Blizzard and Activision) and you get the bard. Its funny, its clever, it throws in a quote from Spinal Tap, everyone has a laugh and moves on.

Oh, how I wish April Fools didn’t exist.

You see, for those of you who jumped on the MMO train with WoW probably don’t know the beauty (and danger to any sort of social life) that was EverQuest. I played a few classes, but nothing ever compared to the Bard. It was the best class, hands down.

They could do a little bit of everything with their instruments, like a musical Swiss-Army knife. Bards could “twist” the songs and get multiple effects going at any given time. Casters loved bards for their mana song – effectively turning Bards into a mana fountain that spewed blue bar regeneration.

They could stun, charm, trance, fear, kite, haste, run, direct damage – anything any class could do, they could do it too. Hell, they even wore plate and could dual wield. With a truly unique play style that was both engaging and simple to use, they made for the most all round enjoyable play experience.

Sadly, the bard class has fallen by the wayside of late. Sure, you can play one in “Vanguard,” but who wants to suffer through that when Warcrack is readily available?

So you can see why Blizzard seemingly harmless jests nearly cost me a pair of underwear. I thought they had just answered my prayers. But, it was April First.