AARP Launches Free Portal for Gaming Grandmas

by Dan Landis on June 24, 2008 at 1:25 am

The geriatric advocate organization known only as “AARP” (pronounced “aarp”) has recently launched a gaming portal on its website. AARP collaborated with Arkadium, a “game solutions developer,” to create a “Game Arena” that would “drive traffic” and “build loyalty” in the AARP community. The Game Arena is part of a host of new features added to keep old people entertained while they’re collecting mothballs.

Kenny Rosenblatt, CEO of Arkadium, had the following to say:

“Casual games are not just for teenagers who like video games. A significant portion of online game players are actually over 30, and it’s making organizations like AARP realize the value of adding a Game Arena to their site. With the AARP Game Arena we’ve not only provided a way for people to play free online games, but we’ve also created a way to integrate additional community interaction.”

Lies. This is obviously all about advertising. AARP wants more people to visit the site so they get more cash money from their ads. Don’t believe it? Check out games.AARP.org and try to play a game without being assaulted with Nutrisystem or run over by a powerchair. You even get to see the ad again while the game you just played reloads! Hooray!

On that note, here is an ad!

I just find this in poor taste on AARP’s part. I mean, the old people AARP is targeting have precious little time left, and yet they waste 5 seconds of their lives between every single game. AARP is practically murdering people right now!

I am at least going to do my part in helping the oldies by not playing the games on AARP’s site and smashing all their high scores. You’re welcome.

Share This: