The New Lara Croft is Ridiculously Sexy

Attention nerds: Boobies.

Now that I have your attention, hit the jump to for some titillating pictures of Alison Carroll, the new face of real-life iconic adventurer Lara Croft.

Ok, now that we’re safely off the main page, take a gander at Alison Carroll, a 23 year-old gymnast and the new face of the Tomb Raider franchise.

Eidos is reinventing Lara Croft with a little more realism (in some places, anyway) by making her a more lithe, graceful gymnast type to match her personality as an adventuresome archeologist, so Carroll fits the bill.

“Tomb Raider: Underworld depicts Lara as we have never seen her before with movements and skills reminiscent of a highly skilled gymnast. Sharing Lara’s strength and grace, Alison is an experienced competitive gymnast who has performed and competed across the globe. Her more than 12 years of gymnastics training align perfectly with the game’s enhanced movement set.”

Plus, she has the “essential characteristics…” giggity!

“Featuring the essential characteristics at the core of Lara Croft’s personality — brawn, brains and beauty — Alison Carroll particularly compliments this iteration of Ms. Croft.”

I can just see the meeting where they wrote that press release:

PR Writer 1: Hey… um… what are the essential characteristics of Lara Croft?

PR Writer 2: Dur. Boobies man. Everyone knows that.

PR 1: No, I mean beyond that. We can’t just come out and say “ZOMG BOOBIES!!1!”

PR 2: Why not?

PR 1: … Good question.

PR 2: Ok, well lets see. She kicks ass, solves puzzles and is every nerd’s wet dream.

PR 1: So… brawn, brains and beauty?

PR 2: Perfect. Now let’s head down to that photo shoot. Bring your camera phone.

In addition to being completely and utterly sexy, Carroll is flexible, personable, has eyes you could lose yourself in, and to top it all off, a British accent. Check the video interview, but be wary, you may fall in love enough to actually buy the game.

DO WANT.

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The new Lara is part of the marketing for Tomb Raider: Underworld, due out November of this year. You can read our preview of Tomb Raider: Underworld here.

Update: Another Alison Carroll video interview has surfaced. Click here to check it out.

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  • Dice Zimmerman

    This woman has just positioned herself as the Nerd-Boner Lightning Rod … I thank her.

  • John Kershaw

    Crotch, hehe.

  • anon

    I’d pee in her butt.

  • greeneggsnsam

    Meh.

    Oh, and “anon”- we know that’s you, Wade.

  • http://www.ripten.com Wade

    You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But although I have been known to throw out the phrase “I’d pee in her butt” on a number of occasions, it was not me.

    But I would totally pee in her butt.

  • Dan Landis

    I notice you didn’t feature any of the pictures showcasing her undead white crotch that may or may not be smothered in chalk powder. Good call.

  • http://www.barackobama.com/ DavidGX

    Doesn’t look like Lara, BOOOOOO!

  • http://www.ripten.com Chad Lakkis

    Why thank you Dan.

  • http://thesyntacticforest.blogspot.com Emily Balistrieri

    Wait, she’s ridiculously sexy? I mean I guess she’s kind of cute, but… Why does her outfit look so cosplay? Josh says it’s “art imitating life imitating art” and then I would even add another imitating life. Aiie.

  • http://pyrogenic.livejournal.com/ Joshua Pollak

    I finally figured out what she really looks like: a booth babe from an old E3. A step above wannabe, but far below the real thing, like a made-for-TV movie.

  • kop

    sexy? naw…. i said before else where. firstly there is not a part makes her look like Lara. next thing is since when Lara’s this fat?

  • John

    Meh……. nice body.. but what is wrong with her face. Thumbs down man, she’s not good looking a ‘tal!! And what’s with all this butt pissing?? Surely we could do something else with her propped up in that position :)

  • Eight Ball

    I wish to mate with her !

  • http://www.ripten.com Wade

    Seems there is just no pleasing some people.

  • cell989

    wow she is gorgeous, bot to mention really cute. Wow, she might not have the best skills with guns, but she makes it up with pure charisma.

    Ps: is it just me or her left boob looks bigger then her right one. I mean nothing wrong with that anyways.

  • Jonathan Zungre

    she’s especially cute in the video.

  • greeneggsnsam

    Wade, you’re awesome.

  • http://www.ripten.com Wade

    I do what I can :D

  • Dan Landis

    Who airbrushed her undead white crotch in the photo gallery pictures? I mean, it looks much better and is something the company should have done before they released them in the first place.

  • +ken

    She cant be a gymnast, iv never seen one with boobies that big!

  • Asarien

    Whatever, yo.

    It’s just another white woman to appease white men.

  • Jason

    I know it’s nit-picking but leave it to a Brit to have their finger on the trigger when the gun isn’t pointing at a target, just bugs me.

  • Charlie

    Jasi Lanier was the awsomest Lara ever

  • http://cofibeans.blogspot.com/2008/08/claudine-baretto-in-bikini.html Claudine Barreto

    she is really so very hot!!!!!!!!

  • Cyrious Garnetski

    Gotta pass. She has a spot on her left tit. Flawed!

  • Ima Nonymous

    Sorry guiz. She ain’t Angelina Jolie. She’s the girl next door wearing leather. Cute try, but no cigar.

    Gimme Angelina, gimme a real chick and not some kid I picture saying OMG! over and and over, and I might get excited. She’s cute, she’d make a great friend to invite to a BBQ or something, but she’s no Lara.

    Do you want to see “Yes yes, OH MY GOD YES” – look here:
    http://www.comicbookhotties.com/models/angelina-jolie-pic.asp?i=16&l=true

  • WryTerra

    Actually, @Ima Nonymous, the new Croft looks a lot more like the original vision than Angelina. I for one welcome the change and that’s speaking as an Angelina Jolie fan.

    The photography, on the other hand, especially the un-retouched originals that we’ve been thankfully spared in this gallery, is not so hot.

  • Robert

    As a Cross Dresser, I love to wear her bra. She does wear a bra, right?

  • kalalala

    Not sexy at all.
    looks like it im not nerd after all

  • http://www.blahblahtech.com/ Wayne Smallman

    Looks like my ex…

  • http://www.get2sammyb.co.uk sammy

    I think she’s pretty hot. She has a really nice voice.

  • http://xbox.uk.net Xbox Uk

    Ridiculously plain jane.

  • lO_oDiCrIs

    she’s a terrific model for the video games, but Angelina Jolie she ain’t!

  • http://www.masalatime.com/?p=448 erichansa

    You’re right, a lady should be discrete.

  • Anomalous

    I’d shag it.

  • http://www.boredquiz.com/ BoredQuiz

    how could she be a gymnast with those things on her chest

  • Stinkers

    I’d like to pee in her butt.

  • http://www.twenty20.co.za/bron brosnon

    WOW, she’s smoking hot!

    Still she looks a little different from the dark haired Anjelina, but I’m not complaining.

  • Juanacatlán

    She’s FAT, she has NO ASS whatsoever and her features are plain.

    No Lara Croft hottie but of course I’d pee in her butt!

  • lolas banderan

    id eat her shit then puke it back into her mouth

  • Kram

    Shes a babe

  • Emily

    I don’t think she will make a good lara croft.

    Any true fan of lara croft would know this.
    This girl doesnt have the face, the body.. is close but not there yet

    angelina has the body, the face and the attitude
    this girl needs to take a punch to the face until she’s ready for the part

    I am against this and so are many other true fans.

    This just plain sucks

  • http://www.freewebs.com/anything-for-free Nite

    I still loved Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft,in my opinion she is more sexy than this girl is

  • KaseyBee

    I can only assume any negative comments are an attempt to incite anger. She is absolutely stunning – far better looking than Jolie, and Jolie is gorgeous.

  • Burgerbob

    Personally, I think she’s really cute. That’s actually what I first noticed.

  • sqe

    ooh, zzzexy! grrr…

  • Bedlam

    A couple of ribs off her and she’ll look like Lara (the bee-waist), though her muscularity is a bit of a downer. To have someone who can actually do the stunts to play Lara is not going to go down well with the general public, though fanboys will be pleased. Big boobs and a face to launch a hundred ships on an athlete, wow.

  • bubuda

    Finally a girl that can do real acrobatics .
    Angeline Jolie was so artificial, such bad actress with fake poses and not even much “jolie” to me taste.
    This Alison girls however looks still a bit stiff in this video here and her high kicks were not very convincing. Some work to do but her looks are more like the cartoon Lara.

  • Ray

    I don’t where their heads are at. I mean, what in bonkers are they thinking? Please, don’t insult us by coming up with a very poor imitation. Look at those eyes! So dead…

  • alberto

    Needs more trigger discipline.

  • youguyshavebadtasteingirls

    You guys have exceptionally bad taste in girls. wots the deal with her bellybutton? looks like an eye socket after the eyeball has fallen out!

  • JujuB

    Personally, I am so disappointed with the new Lara. She looks nothing like her; she looks more like Alyssa Milano, who in no way resembles Croft. She’s cute, but she’s not sexy; she’s trying too hard. She looks unnatural, like a little girl in her first school play or that receptionist who showed up at the costume party as Lara Croft…oh wait…I guess she is. Maybe she’s too young? She doesn’t portray the same inner strength, cool confidence and fire in her eyes that Jolie, and even more so, Rhona Mitra conveyed. Hmmm…think Mitra would come back?

  • Patrick Steen

    This is the original “Lara Croft”…do you think she looks like Lara? http://i16.tinypic.com/6qd9r41.jpg

  • Idunololmaybe

    She’s cute, but she’s too cute.. if that makes sense!

  • ChuChuRocket

    wanna make her my baby mama @@

  • …

    too chubby for Lara Croft

  • Unknown Guy

    Lara Crotch?

  • http://www.myspace.com/shapingscarlet Sluggo

    She can “Croft” my “Larry” anytime.

    BAZAM!

  • oi

    I have to agree. She looks like she’s 16… Laura is obviously the look of a fine madonna-level, with juicy lips and super-boobs. The game makers made her that way, and this is going beyond out of their original tastes. The girl even puckers her lips on the first image… Laura has that Angelina Joule lips. Angelina didn’t win the fav as Laura for nothing. It was from fans before even Hollywood gave videogames to thought.

  • http://clubnetuk.net/m/videos/home/ Zed

    Doesn’t look much like Lara Croft does it. :/ Heh