Playboy’s 2008 Cyber Girl is a HUGE Dork!
by Dan Landis on August 22, 2008 at 1:00 pm
You may remember the Playboy Cyber Girl of the Year Jo Garcia from her attempt to dethrone the Wii Fit girl as “Sexiest Ass to Fake Hoola Hoop” (which I think Wii Fit girl won). Anyway, it would seem that the Cyber Girl lives up to her title as the geek version of the Playmate of the Year, and was not just playing the Wii as a publicity stunt. Turns out she’s a big-time gamer, with a love and knowledge of Final Fantasy that runs so deep that I, of all people, would actually make fun of her dorkiness. Video follows.
Contrary to Jo Garcia’s statement, you are NOT watching this on PWN or DIE dot com.
Okay, is it just me, or do you find this girl to actually be less attractive now? It would seem that on paper, this is every guy’s dream, especially a guy like our own Chad Lakkis who is equally obsessed with Final Fantasy. In reality… not so much.
She also further fuels the stereotype that pretty girls are stupid by talking about the 15-level difference between a boss that she fought at level 45 and then again at 70, which all you number wizards out there can agree is not quite accurate. Then she says that people have the “misnomer” that there is only one Zodiac Spear when in fact there are two — so it appears that Miss Garcia not only failed math class, but English as well. Congradurations!
Don’t get me wrong, I would make fun of this person just as much if it were a guy, if not more. Then again, it probably wouldn’t be worth writing about if it were a guy, unless maybe it was some celebrity like Danny DeVito or something.
So, in conclusion, the moral of this story is that hot girls seem hotter when they don’t talk. Ha, I’m just half-kidding. Seriously, do you find this girl more or less attractive now compared to just watching her shake her ass on Wii Fit? Ladies also — what are your feelings on the matter? And don’t just saying I’m being superficial. As a Playboy model, it it her job to be attractive, so discussing what makes her more or less attractive is relevant and important to her career (*snicker*).
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on August 22, 2008 3:30 pm
<3
on August 22, 2008 8:05 pm
So she’s less sexy cause she plays games? I don’t see the big deal about keeping notes especially since manuals come with a space for them! LOL! Props to her especially since I’d never go that hard for any RPG especially FF12 (110 hours over 2 years and I still didn’t unlock everything. Finally said meh and beat it.)
on August 22, 2008 8:19 pm
No, she’s not less sexy because she plays games. Playing videogames is awesome. She’s less sexy because she’s a huge fucking nerd about it, just like how the average girl makes gross faces at you when you start talking about dorky stuff. I’ve kept notes on some games, like Morrowind because the in-game journal sucked, but I don’t generally keep a journal or make spreadsheets for the games I play.
I also kind of don’t like the way she talks in general. I guess that’s not how Playboy picks their girls, though, so it doesn’t matter — she takes nice pictures.
on August 22, 2008 8:48 pm
notes? I’m soory but “TAHT” looks FAKE
WHO keeps notes about BEIJING olympic games for cryin out loud !!!!!
on August 22, 2008 8:55 pm
Answer: Super Dorks.
I haven’t played Beijing Olympics 2008, but really — what is there to take notes about? I do know for a fact, however, that she is doing a video in September about the game, and she was even sporting a pink gaming glove to prevent blisters. For serious.
on August 23, 2008 12:30 am
“Okay, is it just me, or do you find this girl to actually be less attractive now?”
It’s just you, bro.
on August 23, 2008 1:41 am
Actually, she was attractive before but now she became a godess to me. I never bothered with the Zodiac Spear but she wants to complete all the hunts and everything, that’s dedication, and it makes me horny.
on August 23, 2008 2:31 am
Help! I’m apparently surrounded by people that are even bigger dorks than me, and that scares me quite a bit.
on August 23, 2008 3:20 am
haha, oh Dan, you have missjudged the Internet and it wil be your downfall. :P
on August 23, 2008 5:19 am
Is it just me or does she sound EXACTLY like the chick from “The Casting” tech demo for Heavy Rain? Something about the inflection in her voice just automatically makes me think of that old video.
on August 23, 2008 7:06 am
I can’t believe this article!
Countless generations of “less than esthetically perfect” men, including most gamers, have taken the “sour grapes” approach with beautiful women. “They’re just shallow and vapid,” we scoff, “That’s why they can’t appreciate me.”
Well look who’s being shallow now! We as gamers need to reflect upon the adage “Beggers can’t be choosers.” You write a video game column for a living, and YOU don’t want HER, because YOU think SHE’S a dork!?!?
She’s gorgeous, accessable, AND a gamer? Move on over, chump, I’ll tap that.
on August 23, 2008 10:09 am
Girls who like Final Fantasy too much are incredibly annoying.
on August 23, 2008 10:16 am
Whoa, now. I didn’t say that I now find her UNattractive because she’s a dork, I said I find her LESS attractive. Some guys think it’s awesome when a girl sits around drinking beer, watching football, and burping all the time — “my perfect woman because she’s just like me!” That is not appealing to me. If I wanted someone that was exactly like myself, I would put makeup on a mirror and masturbate all day.
There is a fine line between cute dorkiness and over-the-top supreme dorkiness. I think the rest of you are more shallow than me for automatically being turned on by girls that game. Think that one over.
I think the fact that she is a gamer is cool, but she goes too far with the journals. For example: when I moved into this house, I saw my neighbor playing Call of Duty 4. The next time I saw him outside, I struck up a conversation about games, and he starting talking about SoulCalibur IV and was naming specific moves and why he likes Ivy because her Shadow Moon Crescent throw combo (or whatever) was the most powerful move in the game. Seriously, outside of classic Street Fighter II, who actually knows the names of the individual moves in fighting games? You don’t even ever see them except in strategy guides and the practice mode. See, that is where I draw the line. That dude stepped over into the world of “too dorky”, and he has some company there since that’s where Cyber Girl Jo Garcia is with her journals. And as WallyGatorr said, who takes notes on freaking Beijing Olympics? Dorks, that’s who.
Yes, I’m a huge dork. Yes I write about videogames and geeky things. I’m not going to argue that Jo Garcia is an attractive woman, but she is a bigger dork than I am, and I don’t like how she talks. If I were to see pictures of her, I would still beat off to them, but she is not someone I could marry because I think she would annoy me. Maybe I just need to get to know her better?
Nah… I will step aside, Matthew, and you can have her. I will remain a chooser.
on August 25, 2008 12:24 pm
I appreciate your response, Dan. I do understand where you’re coming from more clearly now. I agree that there are people who don’t know where to draw the line when talking gaming, and enter the land of “dorkiness leprosy”, where you feel like you want to get as far from them as possible before you become “unclean”.
I was writing from the perspective of someone with little to no exposure to this girl except from TV interviews and she seemed nice enough, so I thought I’d defend her on general principles. However, I don’t believe that you can judge her INTELLIGENCE based on some incorrect statement she made about Final Fantasy five-hundred and two, or whichever one it was. And it’s true; Final Fantasy IS dorky and possibly homo-erotic in itself (I can’t tell the boys from the chicks, unless the girl has huge bunny-ears).
In conclusion, touche. You’re right. She probably is a dork of Steve Erkel-sized proportions. And if the way she talks bugs you, well, every guy has had some girl that he dumped because the way she talked bored into his brain like a drill, so I don’t begrudge you that. I just thought someone should speak for her.
on August 26, 2008 10:57 am
Thanks for the thoughtful response, Matthew. I can certainly understand your desire to “defend her honor”, and I don’t think she’s certifiably less intelligent because of what she said — I was just busting her (metaphorical) balls because I happened to catch those errors she made.
on August 26, 2008 5:44 pm
On a bit of a parallel addition to the story I hear that Playgirl Magazine’s “Hot Young Hunks” of the month have huge dorks. I’m just saying… to be fair and non gender biased and to speak in defense them and everything.
on August 28, 2008 5:10 am
Who gives a crap about some dude? :)