My Xbox 360 Has Become Abusive
I know that when my 360 hits me it’s only because I provoked it.
These stories are getting a bit stale, aren’t they? Not stale enough, apparently, or maybe it’s just not important for Microsoft to fix their shit. You see, my latest Xbox 360 is dead. I purchased a new Arcade version in January after my then current 360 was assassinated. I’ve been using it since then until it started freezing, at which time I moved it to the other television and used it solely for movie-watching. Less than eight months later, it does nothing but blink red and laugh at me.
Seriously, Microsoft, what is your fucking problem? Every few months I read about how all these improvements are being made and that 360′s are becoming more reliable. Do you just make this stuff up? Do they break more reliably or something? My latest 360 demise came earlier than the other two, so if by more reliable you mean less reliable, then congrats — you’re definitely on the right track.
Everything that’s great about the 360 and all of this exclusive content you’re getting doesn’t mean a goddamn thing if I’m unable to enjoy any of it because my shit’s all busted. The new Xbox Experience can go fuck itself unless my Avatar will sit inside my console all day performing maintenance to keep it running.
Don’t you realize that you are only hurting yourself? Don’t you realize that the public opinion of the Xbox 360 is that it is an unreliable piece of garbage? Don’t you realize that you are costing yourself more money by replacing 360′s over and over than you would if you just fixed the problem? What happened between the original Xbox, which I gamed on for 4 years with no problems whatsoever (and it still works to this day), and the 360, which I’ve owned 4 of so far in less than 3 years? And now it appears likely I will be getting a fifth one…
There are plenty of 360 fanboys out there that will claim “I’ve never had a problem”, and that may be true, but I don’t know a single person that has owned a 360 for more than a year that has not had to send it in for repair. My guess is that the people that haven’t had any problems are most likely not using it multiple hours every day. The failure rate is clearly 100% — it’s just a matter of when, not if.
My relationship with the 360 has become abusive. I try to remember only the good times we had and pretend that the times he hit me are long gone. The 360 keeps telling me that he’s changed, and I believe it because I love the 360. Then, for no reason, the 360 gets mad and throws me down a flight of stairs, I call the police, and the 360 goes into rehab for 2 weeks.
Then he shows up at my door, gift-wrapped, and we go back to doing all of the fun things that made me love him in the first place. Every time we get together, though, I’m always fearful that he will slip into his abusive ways. Sometimes the 360 will freeze during a game, and I reset it hoping that I will see green lights and not red ones. Sometimes I turn it on and see no lights for a few seconds, and I get scared. I never know when the 360 is going to hurt me again.
For real, Microsoft, I am not very happy. There are millions of 360 owners out there that you are also making not very happy. That is not good. You need to fix this problem NOW before one of us shoots you in the face.
Source: That blinking-red piece of shit in my living room.
