Finally, it all makes sense.
Vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, who has been taking shots from the mainstream media for her dearth of credible political inexperience and inability to form a cohesive sentence, has an excuse for her lack of foreign policy street cred: she’s too busy hunting demons. Literally.
It has come to our attention here at Ripten that Gov. Palin bears a striking resemblance to the high-kicking heroine and namesake of the forthcoming Sega title Bayonetta.
Unconvinced? Well in an effort to be both “Fair and Balanced,” we have created a list of compelling evidence that removes all doubt as to Gov. Palin’s extra curricular activities as the gunslinger in hotpants:
- Both wear glasses.
- Both look like the high school librarian we always wanted.
- Both have a love of firearms.
- Both wear shoes that hold large-caliber weaponry.
- Both come from somewhere cold.
- Both see angels.
- Both are on a mission to eradicate evil.
- Both have daughters who’ve been forced into loveless marriages for political purposes.
Gov. Palin has had disjointed public appearances, due possibly to the rigorous production schedule at Sega.
Because of this revelation, many here at Ripten have decided to switch from the Obama/Biden ticket. Sorry mate, but Biden is a dessicated stick of beef jerky and Bayonetta is rad all day.
McCain/Bayonetta 08, bitches!
