The Watercooler – 12 November 2008
by Dan Landis on November 12, 2008 at 4:04 am
Warning: The Watercooler is the best thing you will see on the Internet today, mainly because it is the best thing I saw on the Internet yesterday. Be advised that The Watercooler is not necessarily videogame related (it usually won’t be), and is often silly, controversial, and/or not safe for work (NSFW). If this type of content frequently offends you, please be aware that I just warned you — if you still click through and get offended, it will be your own stupid fault. Otherwise, please continue…
Today’s Watercooler features a list I found on a website called McSweeney’s entitled “Fifty Years of Popular Songs Condensed into Single Sentences”. While I immediately guessed what these single sentences would be comprised of, I still found myself laughing at some of the more creative explanations further down the list. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
The end of this sentence will say “Read more…” in blue letters.
Told ya! Oh wait, now it’s gone. Anyway, here goes:
The Beatles, “I Want to Hold Your Hand”
I want to do it with you.
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Marvin Gaye, “Let’s Get It On”
I want to do it with you.
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Led Zeppelin, “Whole Lotta Love”
I want to do it with you.
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James Blunt, “You’re Beautiful”
I want to do it with you.
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Sir Mix-a-Lot, “Baby Got Back”
I want to do it.
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Elvis Presley, “Hound Dog”
You’re doing it with everyone.
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R. Kelly, “I Believe I Can Fly”
I believe I want to do it with you.
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Patsy Cline, “Crazy”
I want to do it with you so much I’m going fucking nuts.
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Frank Sinatra, “Strangers in the Night”
I’m drunk and I want to do it with you.
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The White Stripes, “My Doorbell”
Using metaphor, I want to do it with you.
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Little Richard, “Good Golly Miss Molly”
I’m doing it with Miss Molly, and she’s totally into it.
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Duran Duran, “Rio”
I’d love to do that chick dancing on the sand.
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The Beatles, “Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?”
I’d like to do it with you right now.
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Carly Simon, “You’re So Vain”
We used to do it, but then you did it with someone else, and now I’m not going to do it with you, although I wish we were still doing it.
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Pulp, “Common People”
I once met a stuck-up European who wanted to do it with me.
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Radiohead, “Creep”
I’m filled with self-loathing, and, though outwardly I hate everything you represent, I want to do it with you.
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Kate Bush, “Wuthering Heights”
I’m an 18th-century fictional character and I want to do it with another 18th-century fictional character.
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Bob Dylan, “Blowin’ in the Wind”
The Man is currently doing it to you.
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Elvis Presley, “Jailhouse Rock”
Incarcerated men will on occasion do it with each other.
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Meat Loaf, “I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)”
Hey! You won’t believe what this one chick said while I was doing it with her!
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Kings of Leon, “Sex on Fire”
I did it with you, and now it hurts when I pee.
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Céline Dion, “My Heart Will Go On”
Even your death has not stopped me wanting to do it with you.
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AC/DC, “You Shook Me All Night Long”
We did it yesterday.
- – - -
You’re welcome.
If you enjoyed that, you can head over to McSweeney’s and check out all the other crazy shit they post.
Think you have something that could be Watercooler material? Send it to dlandis@ripten.com. If your submission gets featured, you will win a prize package full of pride and accomplishment.
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Related Posts:
- The Watercooler – 10 November 2008
- The Watercooler – 18 November 2008
- The Watercooler – 29 October 2008
- The Watercooler – 14 November 2008
- The Watercooler – 03 November 2008
- The Watercooler – 01 November 2008
- The Watercooler – 15 November 2008
- The Watercooler – 11 November 2008
2 Comments » |
on November 12, 2008 4:13 am
Cookigaki can rest easy knowing the watercooler for today will satisfy my boner.
on November 12, 2008 10:30 pm
That’s sad. But this list is funny! It’s so true, everything is about sex!