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Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames - #7

by Dan Landis on December 7, 2008 at 11:55 pm

I’m guessing that most of you have no clue where this booty came from. As you may be able to tell, those are pixels in the picture — that’s right, this ass is old school! Check out who made her way to number 7 on our Top 10 Nicest Asses countdown. As always, please be aware that some of the content may be ‘Not Safe For Work’.

Click images to enlarge.

#7 - The Dark Queen (Battletoads)

Who? Since a lot of you probably don’t recognize her or have ever played the games, let me enlighten you. The Dark Queen was your nemesis in Battletoads, one of the best games developed by Rare. The original Battletoads was on the NES, with a few sequels on the NES and SNES, and the Dark Queen was generally the final boss in all of the games with the exception of Super Battletoads.

What’s so special about the Dark Queens booty? Well, there’s definitely a nostalgia factor working in her favor here, but she’s also incredibly sexy considering she was only 8-bit, 16-bit at most. The Dark Queen was actually the first non-real vision of the female form that gave me a boner. Yes, I just admitted that an 8-bit clump of pixels sexually aroused me — screw you for judging me!

Unfortunately for all of you who never played the game, it is incredibly hard to find any pictures of her on the interwebs to prove her hotness. I did find this artwork, though:

In addition to that, there are also some people (or at least one person) that have mistakingly labeled these very NSFW pictures of Veronica Zemanova as some Dark Queen cosplay. While I can certainly see it, I don’t really know if it would be accurate to say it’s cosplay simply because she looks just like the Dark Queen. Not that cosplay is something she wouldn’t do — there is actually an hour-long photoshoot video of Veronica dressed as Wonder Woman (which is also quite unsafe for work, but you can watch about 18 minutes of it before she starts taking any clothes off).

I also found this gameplay vid from Battletoads & Double Dragon, which consists of the final boss fight with the Dark Queen. For some strange reason, nobody has uploaded the cutscenes anywhere that I’ve found, which are probably the best part. What a shame…

Satisfied? While a good number of people (i.e. kids) will still not understand or agree with the Dark Queen being on this list, anyone that grew up with the NES playing games like Battletoads should surely appreciate the throwback to one of the original hotties of the digital screen. She’s got crazy curves, a ridiculously huge yet still somehow sexy hairdo, and an outfit that screams “naughty”. Despite her lack of polygons, the Dark Queen deserves her spot on this list. I only wish I could delight you with more proof.

Don’t forget to check back tomorrow to find out the number 6 pick on our Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames countdown. Things are just starting to get interesting…

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

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