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Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames – #5

by Dan Landis on December 9, 2008 at 11:57 pm

We continue our countdown today with a slightly lesser-known ass in the world of videogames. After today, however, I hope more people will appreciate the genius of a game containing a booty like this. Like all entries on this list, there may be some content that some would consider ‘Not Safe for Work’.

Click images for a larger view.

#5 – Vanessa Z. Schneider (P.N.03)

Vanessa was the main character in P.N.03, an ill-fated GameCube game that sold a mere 20,000 copies or so. That’s not really all that sad because the game was kinda just blah. The one saving grace was that Vanessa had a sweet ass and at no point in the game did she ever stop shaking it.

Vanessa attacks her opponents by dancing hypnotically in skin-tight outfits and using the concentrated hotness to fire beams of eroticism that make her foes have brain aneurysms. That, or she just has Parkinson’s and shoots regular lasers. Want to see what these attacks looks like? Here:

Yes, that is an attack. I don’t completely understand what’s going on in this game, but I honestly don’t care. The point is that someone thought it was a good idea to put a hot chick in a game and didn’t pretend like she wasn’t there for eye candy — they embraced that fact and even emphasized it. These are smart people!

To truly understand this ass, however, you must see it in motion. Okay.

Here we also have the ending to the game in which (SPOILER) Vanessa finds out she is a clone of Rob Schneider’s mom. This prompts her to kill herself, then she dances.

While some may argue that Samus’ ass was similar, or even slightly better, the difference here is that Samus hides hers under a suit of armor while Vanessa’s looks awesome even in her armor. She also has no problem shaking it for us, and that’s definitely something I can get behind (tee hee!).

Be sure to check back with us tomorrow to see who makes it to number 4 as we continue our countdown of the Nicest Asses in Videogames.

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

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10 Comments »

  1. Tomonoatmeal Cookigaki
    on December 10, 2008 12:36 am

    That ass shake is so good, Cookigaki will now buy a gamecube.

  2. SeasonedSalt
    on December 10, 2008 1:55 am

    Does it make me a lesbian if I say I like this list?

  3. Dr. Muhbutwiches
    on December 10, 2008 2:38 am

    No, it makes you awesome.

  4. Vaj is Delicious
    on December 10, 2008 11:02 am

    She doesn’t kill herself you liar!

  5. Dan Landis
    on December 10, 2008 11:03 am

    And she’s not Rob Schneider’s mom either. It was a joke.

  6. Nobody
    on December 10, 2008 2:35 pm

    All im saying is YUNA from Final Fantasy X2 better have No: 1 spot.

  7. DavidGX
    on December 10, 2008 6:12 pm

    *cough*CAMMY*cough*

    Who, what? I didn’t say anything.

  8. The Whaler
    on December 10, 2008 6:51 pm

    SeasonedSalt: Even if it does make you a lesbian that’s fine by me :D

    That gif is sexy, I should play this game now. Also, you should put Voldo on this list.

  9. John Landis
    on December 11, 2008 6:42 am

    Voldo was one sexy bitch. Gotta love those freaky chicks.

  10. Deathguise
    on March 9, 2009 4:02 pm

    haha, i love how im reading this and there are like 3 different adds for liposuction and weight loss with pictures of fat legs and thighs

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