Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames – #1
by Dan Landis on December 14, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Well, this is it. We’ve counted down the best asses in videogames, and I’m guessing nobody recognizes our number one. I’m sure this choice will be much debated, but there is some fairly sound logic why this gets our top choice for the Nicest Asses in Videogames.
#1 – The Party Girls (Hitman series)
Yes, the chicks from the Hitman games, specifically all of the party levels. From the snow bunnies to the BDSM leather-clad freaks, the girls at the various parties in the Hitman games do a good job of pleasing most uniform fetishes out there. There’s no schoolgirl party yet, but I’m sure that’s coming. Just check out the in-game action at the Christmas party:
…and the Meat King’s party:
… and the Heaven and Hell party:
In addition to the fact that these polygonal posteriors are round and perky, the idea that you are surrounded by them makes it all the better. After all, a room full of nice asses is generally better than just one nice ass. Can I get an amen?
Sure, these are just random, nameless characters with relatively little impact in the game, but that doesn’t mean their asses don’t deserve a little credit. Everybody’s gotta start somewhere. Any of you ladies remember Brad Pitt’s first movie?
Let’s also not forget the hotness of Olga Kurylenko who played what’s-her-name in the Hitman movie. I’m not sure if that really counts as the same thing, but since we are just talking about “Hitman girls”, I guess it fits. And hey, it’s my list so I can do what I want. Plus, we can say she is a videogame girl because the only U.S. movies she’s been in so far were Hitman, Max Payne, and Quantum of Solace — all of which were videogames.
The only thing that really made this a tough choice was the fact that these characters are mostly all unnamed background characters. This posed a problem because, unlike characters that are actually “famous”, they have no fans and thus no fan art. Agent 47 himself has thousands of pics, but his supporting cast is just not important to anyone. At the very least I found this promotional piece:
But there it is. I’m sure people were expecting a more famous character — we don’t see no-names topping People’s Sexiest lists, do we — but I think these asses deserve it. Sure, there are lots of videogame characters that have great butts, but I’ve never spent as much time in any other game just looking at the chicks instead of playing the game.
That’s sad, I know, but for whatever reason, the girls in the Hitman games somehow manage to mesmerize me with their booties, and they somehow pop up as the first thought when someone mentions asses in videogames. These are like the super hot chicks you see in music videos that you have no idea who they are but you just fall in love with them anyway, and that’s how they managed to top our list of the Nicest Asses in Videogames.
All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1
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- Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames – #10
- Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames – #5
- Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames – #9
- Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames – #7
- Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames – #8
- Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames – #6
- Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames – #3
- Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames – #4
20 Comments » |
on December 15, 2008 3:01 am
After careful consideration, Cookigaki accepts this list as wangtastic. Cookigaki is almost glad Daniel-san did not put on DOA girls because Cookigaki has seen them many many times already. Cookigaki is glad to have experienced some new asses. Thank you Daniel-san.
on December 15, 2008 3:02 am
All that build up for this? In that case Cammy should have been 1. Funny how there is complaints over the DOA gals and their flat tushes, when that is exactly what I’m seeing above.
on December 15, 2008 3:06 am
finally the collection came to an end.
it is very nice i bookmarked all its pages.
by the way Dan you need to start a real relationship
the sooner the better…
on December 15, 2008 3:20 am
Actually, I have two kids and my wife and I just had our 7-year anniversary yesterday. Thanks for caring.
And I’m glad you liked the list. It was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be, but I’m happy with it.
@Huh!?, this was hard because I couldn’t find art for these asses like I did with the others. Cammy, for example, I had the opposite problem with and had all art and no in-game pics. The problem with basing my decisions based solely on art is that an artist can basically make any ass look pretty good. You should see some of the pics I saw of Princess Peach, and in the games she doesn’t even have an ass. On a pure in-game character level, Cammy has a great ass but the Hitman chicks have like a HUNDRED great asses.
on December 15, 2008 6:08 pm
Even I, a true lover of ass, found this somewhat anti-climatic.
If you were just doing this for yourself, I’d understand; but where is the #1 vote that everyone can relate to? Tsk, tsk.
Thanks anyway…some very fap-worthy choices on that list. ^_^
on December 15, 2008 6:14 pm
Lara Croft? Thats a hot ass, where is she? Overall, great list, good work.
on December 15, 2008 6:41 pm
Lara Croft was number 8.
on December 18, 2008 3:30 pm
Hey, where is Diana?!!
on December 18, 2008 3:30 pm
Where is Diana?
on December 18, 2008 6:48 pm
Congratulations on your anniversary Dan(better late then never)
I’m pleased with the ass list Dan, thank you
:’)
on December 18, 2008 7:56 pm
huh, that’s a good one. Nobody knows what Diana looks like.
Thanks for the compliments, Whaler.
on December 19, 2008 12:50 pm
Where girls from GTA IV?!!
on December 19, 2008 12:51 pm
Sorry for errors, i dont speak english
on December 19, 2008 12:54 pm
Do you think the girls from GTA IV really have that nice of asses?
on December 19, 2008 9:17 pm
If you call the chicks in GTA4 eye-candy. Ohmyfukingawd you need help.
on December 19, 2008 9:19 pm
Hell yeah! I’m watching Quantum of Solace right now and chick on there is pure fire personified.
on December 20, 2008 9:07 am
Yes! And where girls from GTA SA? It was necessary to make TOP 20 hot asses instead of 10…
on December 20, 2008 5:13 pm
hellooooooooooo
on December 22, 2008 10:49 pm
f*ck
on May 20, 2009 7:05 pm
Wow. Y'know, that bit about Samus' badassery in the Power Suit never landing her a boyfriend? That was actually kind of offensive.