25-Year-Old Man Dies: Sexy Girlfriend, Motherly Phone Call, and Wii Fit All Possible Suspects
by Chad Lakkis on March 30, 2009 at 6:53 am
Tim Eves, a healthy 25-year-old UK man, hung up the phone with his mother only to die abruptly several moments later while playing Wii Fit with his girlfriend. Your first thought may be to link the Wii Balance board (as many outlets are) to his death, but if you stopped there you would be doing your inner detective an epic disservice.
Examine the facts. Why must the gaming device always be the bringer of death? It very well could have been the conclusion of a nagging motherly phone call or a strip teasing girlfriend that caused the former scout leader to face dive towards the carpet.
How many times have you rushed to end a call with your mother because all she wanted to do was nag your ear off? “Come over and fix my VCR.” “My computer needs new anti virus software.” “The printer is broken.” Blah Blah Blah. My blood pressure is rising already just from talking about it.
And what about your sexy half naked girlfriend? Always looking to distract you during your gaming sessions. Walking around in her Victoria’s Secrets and stuff, smacking her butt and saying things like “I’m thirsty”. Women are the devil Bobby Boucher and don’t you ever forget it.
Either one of those are more likely to have me grasping my chest than an in-place jogging session on a Wii Balance board. If a medical determination is what you seek, paramedics pronounced the man dead upon arrival. No official cause has been determined, but the family is being told that the death was due to Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome (SADS).
Source: Telegraph.co.uk Via: The Dan Landis Examiner
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7 Comments » |
on March 30, 2009 4:27 pm
Nice reference to The Waterboy.
on March 30, 2009 5:55 pm
Holy shit, there's a sudden adult death syndrome? That terrifies me. Man, I bet his family is real SADS.
Rimshot!
Also shame :(
on March 30, 2009 11:44 am
nice article dude! you nailed so many things in that article. you da man!
on March 30, 2009 8:19 pm
Lol, I really hope this isn't true. But alas, I would take his place to see that. lol.
on March 30, 2009 10:45 pm
Oh, man. I laughed. Then I realized what I was laughing about and felt ashamed.
Then I laughed again, because it was clever. Kudos.
on March 31, 2009 12:20 am
Great article! It's about time someone took a stand on this – clearly the Wii and all other game consoles are tools of the Devil to enslave our minds and make us kill our parents (or possibly just drop dead from overexposure to the satanic boxes' evil messages).
The sheer innocence of Nintendo characters alone is proof of something sinister lurking behind Mario's feckless grin. He's too friendly with Luigi; and too distant with Peach (never quite seem to hook up, do they?), enjoys 'sitting' on goombas and popping mushrooms, so Nintendo is not only covertly encouraging us to practice the sin of sodomy, but also to try illegal psychotropic substances.
There needs to be a coordinated response to this obvious threat against our children and the moral fabric of society. Might I suggest mass exorcisms followed by banning video games and repeatedly bashing the Old Testament against our foreheads until original sin is paid for in full? ^_^
on March 31, 2009 12:48 pm
I think you guys are missing the point. This isn't really a laughing matter, a person is dead. All you've done is made a shameless effort to bring hits to this already popular site.
You, sir are less in my eyes now.
And the commentators are worse.