Nintendo’s President and Chief Operationg Officer in North America (better known as Reggie), firmly denied rumors of a Wii HD, telling GameTrailers TV:

“I don’t know how forcefully we can say there is no Wii HD.”

Well Reggie, you could pull the Wii HD out and beat people over the head with it while screaming “IT DOESN’T EXIST! DO YOU HEAR ME!?!” That might do it.