Fugitive Caught Using World of Warcraft

Alfred Hightower, a man wanted on multiple charges of drug dealing, eluded the law for two years by hightailing it from the Howard County, Indiana to Ontario, Canada. But he also stepped into the World of Warcraft, which is how he got caught.
“You hear stories about you can’t get someone through the Internet. Guess what? You can. I just did. Here you are, playing World of Warcraft, and you never know who you’re playing with.”
That was Howard County Sheriff’s Department deputy Matt Roberson, who didn’t give two shits whether or not his jurisdiction extended to Azeroth. The above quote is one of the most badass things I have ever read.
Roberson was collecting information on Alfred Hightower when he found out that the man played World of Warcraft. Roberson, being an ex-player himself, was no stranger to the game and sent a subpoena to Blizzard. A few months later, Blizzard responded with more than enough enough information to locate Hightower.
Roberson and sheriff’s major Steve Rogers contacted the U.S. Marshals, who contacted the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and the Canadian Border Services Agency. They hunted down the fugitive in Ottawa, Ontario, and had him deported to Minneapolis. Howard County has until January 5th to grab him and bring him back to face charges.
Alright, so let’s sum this up: Matt Roberson, who is apparently some sort of badass cyber detectives, uses World of Warcraft to hunt down Alfred Hightower, who, judging by his name, is also a Batman villain. He then enlists the help of Steve Rogers, who also happens to be Captain America, to send some Canadian Mounties, probably on horseback, to bring this guy back to the states.
The only way this story could’ve been better is if they law enforcement agents had approached Hightower’s avatar in World of Warcraft, told him the jig was up, which would spook him and send him leaping out of his computer chair, where they would be standing right behind him, ready to cuff him.
I should write for Hollywood.











