Now that EA has control over the fun factory we used to know and love as PopCap Games (Dave Oshry said so), we’ve decided to give this new amalgamation a list of requests for crossovers that we believe will be unanimous commercial successes. We think they’re all Game of the Year contenders. Chris Carlson has used his mastery of Photoshop to bring these masterpieces to life.
America’s greatest football teams face off against the toughest mushrooms you’ve ever seen. Rey Lewis takes on some daisies. It doesn’t get more intense than this. Who will come out on top? The choice is yours. The final boss will be John Madden himself. He will lumber slowly toward you while spraying tough actin’ Tenactin. Best. Game. Ever.
Time is running out and the gems are piling up! It’s a race from San Francisco to New York City and you’ve got to match three of a kind to clear the way before you find yourself behind bars and covered in jewels… family jewels.
What happens when the greatest sport in America meets the ocean’s greatest hunters? Fun! Take control of majestic orca whales as you race to devour as many NFL legends as possible. Special unlockables will allow you to play as the Clay Matthews, who actually eats humans in real life. Eat and eat until you’re large enough to devour John Madden himself! OM NOM NOM
It’s a game of reflex and precision. You and your squad of grizzled pegs are up against a merciless enemy, but there’s no rest for the wicked. Complete the mission by any means necessary. Clear the pegs, save the world. Also, jets.
Commander Shepard and his crew of deadly allies face off against an advanced gem race, bent on reducing the universe to grids. Line them up and take them out before the universe implodes.
The Republic and the Sith Empire are at it again with the whole light side and dark side thing. Except now there are balls. Colorful balls, all in a line. Will you side with the light? Or the darkness? Either way, you’re going to have to get rid of these balls.
If you don’t like Madden with your fish, try Fight Night Feeding Frenzy! You might have a mean right hook, but these great whites have three rows of teeth. Try knocking those out before it bites your face off.
Welcome to the Underwaterland, where Alice must navigate her way through some of the most bizarre puzzles and terrifyingly unusual creatures. You have two weeks to chase down the white rabbit fish and take on the Red Shark Queen, or else somebody’s little cousin flushes you down the toilet. It’s insanity. Insaniquarity!… or something.
No sports? No problem! You’ve got enough Simoleons for Tivo and every game recorded from three years back. Relive the magic of every touchdown– then take away the toilet and watch the fun unfold!
Can you find the word “massacre?” Elliot Salem and Tyson Rios had better bust out their dictionaries, because no one’s getting out of Afghanistan unless they master those six-plus-letter words.
OH GOD WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!
Let us all band together in prayer and hope EA leaves PopCap alone to make their own awesome games.
Have other suggestions for us? Let us know – maybe we’ll make some more silly ass images for you.