With every videogame-based movie that comes into being and curses the world with its existence, I can only sit back and facedesk yet another hole into my table. Really, Hollywood, for the sake of my forehead and my table, please stop ruining my favorite videogame franchises with your scummy, profiteering touch.
Yesterday, we reported that German actor Michael Fassbender was hopping on board the hopefully-not-terrible Assassin’s Creed movie as a producer and actor. If Ubisoft‘s past venture into Hollywood–ahem, Prince of Persia (2010)–is any proof of quality, then I’ll be sure to jump into a bathtub filled with water and a powered toaster before I let myself get dragged along to see that movie. Today, we have more horrific news. CBS Films has secured the rights to a Deus Ex movie, which is to be based off of the series reboot Human Revolution.
Why’s Square Enix letting this more-likely-than-not travesty to happen? According to Square Enix Europe CEO Phil Rogers,
“As the millions of fans who have played the Deus Ex games for more than a decade will tell you, these games catapult you into a universe that is stimulating, engaging and relevant,”
“We’re firm believers in building strong partnerships, and so we’re thrilled to be working with CBS Films on bringing the unique Deus Ex experience to the big-screen.”
…Saying absolutely nothing about why the videogame’s story is so absolutely stellar that it deserves a movie spin-off.
But I think we can all assume that it’s because of all the dollar signs that Square Enix is seeing right now. After all, transmedia = dollars.
I’m surprised that Square Enix isn’t being a little more cautious of the entire movie affair. Did SquEnix already forget the astronomical box office failure that was Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)? Bless its heart. I absolutely love that movie… but god did that thing sink faster than the Titanic.