Last time I went to the the London Expo, I was quite disappointed with the lack of proper gaming content. This year, however, I was pleasantly surprised. Tekken 6, Borderlands, Bayonetta, and even Left 4 Dead 2 were all playable at the show- which of course meant that I played them as much as I could.

Obviously I wouldn’t be writing this if I wasn’t going to tell you about them, so don’t worry about that. You could read my impressions and watch a video of the games at the same time and pretend that you’re me. This is clearly something that you want to do, so hit the jump to read on.

I’ll spare the details about the show itself, as it rarely changes in atmosphere. Essentially, the show is a gathering of the internet. People dress as memes, animé characters, game characters, or wear sarcastic t-shirts in what I consider to be the seasonal ‘dance of the nerds’. I would have said it was like a mating ritual but we all know that no mating would ever take place. Anyway, now that I’m done insulting everyone who went, probably including myself, I’ll move on to the games.

When I arrived I headed straight for the Borderlands booth- despite the fact that the game has already been released on consoles, I’d never played it before that and was (and am, at the time of writing) waiting for the PC release. As an RPG it’s not ideal for booth play, but I was very impressed. Even though I wasn’t used to using a 360 pad for first-person shooters, I found myself playing for over an hour. Yeah, I was that guy, hogging the booth. I’m sorry, everyone who stood behind me waiting for me to finish.

Luckily the game was running in two-player co-op and there were plenty of other 360s around running the game. I found that playing the game this way was great for showing it off; due to the nature of the game you’re encouraged to talk about what’s going on with your co-op partner and share weapons with them. It’s a great way of making you emotionally involved in the game- and clearly it worked, since I was playing for so long without realising. I’m looking forward to playing the PC version.

I moved on to play Bayonetta, which was a perfectly serviceable brawler which already has a demo out that you can download and try out yourself. If you really want my opinion, I’ll just say that I got a bit bored of it after a little while of fighting the same enemies over and over. The game looks great, though. There’s a lot of detail in the environments and the boss battles are quite epic. Not Shadow of the Colossus epic, just a little bit epic.

I also played Tekken 6, which is every Tekken with slightly better graphics and more characters. I played as Paul (who was good in Tekken 3, the only one I played) and got beat up by someone playing as Law. I don’t think I could go back to Tekken after Street Fighter 4. I just don’t like the 3D mechanic. So my summary of Tekken 6 is this: It’s a Tekken game. What did you expect?

After wandering around a bit (and briefly watching the Avatar game in 3D, which hurt my eyes slightly) I threw away my instinct to avoid boredom and queued up for 45 minutes to play Left 4 Dead 2. It was being played in the same vault as Dead Space was last time (it even had pictures of Issac on the walls inside), on four 360s. They weren’t even connected together, it was just single-player. This combined with the fact that I find playing Valve games with a controller to be utterly awful meant that my opinion of the game went down a lot to just “this is brilliant.”

Despite not being able to aim because of the controller, I found it to be a very enjoyable experience. Cutting zombies in half with a machete is highly unlikely to get old any time soon. The demo comes out soon, so I’ll be doing a full preview in the future. I realise I’m being a big PC elitist when it comes to the controller but I honestly found the burst-fire rifle to be fairly useless as I couldn’t reliably pull off headshots with it. Anyway, I’ll save that for the preview.

That’s about it, I’m afraid. The MCM expo is never huge for games, although this year, as I’ve said, I was impressed with the turnout. Next weekend, however, is the Eurogamer Expo, which I’m also attending. That expo is completely focused on games, and so I’ll hopefully have a bit more to say about that. So, to summarise the MCM Expo 2009, here is a haiku. The use of haiku represents the underlying internet and Japanophile culture present at the Expo.

The dance of the nerds
Has Left 4 Dead 2 this year
It was good, I think

I’m not much of a news guy, so I don’t do news.  I can’t keep track of what is going on in my own life, let alone what other people are doing.  Sometimes, however, things come to my attention that just irritate me or people will need to be put in their place.  Since a vast majority of the time I can do nothing about it, I write it out.  My therapist says it’s… therapeutic.  So, at completely random times you can expect to see another installment of Shut Yer Mouth, where I basically complain about how stupid people are.

Today, I want to talk about World of WarCraft.  They’ve recently announced a new expansion pack in the works, which Chad covered the hell out of during Blizzcon.  Fantastic.  I am really looking forward to the new expansion.  When just the name was leaked, Dan and I had talked about how awesome it would be if they got rid of all that old, stale, vanilla content that you have to play through to level up new characters and just erased that whole section.

Well, when they announced the expansion, they said they were doing exactly that.  Well, not exactly, but close enough to make me think Blizzard has tapped my Ventrilo line.  The problem comes from the expansion, and even a little before that.  It’s been especially profound with this latest patch (3.2) that pretty much allowed anyone with even a few minutes of time a day to eventually get high level raiding gear without ever stepping foot in a raid.

It sort of popped up even before this, as each expansion sort of made things a little easier for people to get into.  Raids used to be 40-man; now you can do them with 10 (and the 25-man version is considered the “heroic” version). You used to have to meet a minimum skill requirement to fish in certain waters; now you can fish anywhere. Let’s not even start on riding skills and the merging of hit ratings, spell damage and healing, etc. There was no end to the bitching that went on.  Wrath of the Lich King was a firestorm of tears from the hardcore, who complained that their elite raiding guild found the content too easy and didn’t take enough skill or time to master.  Now I see it all the time.  There are people complaining that WoW has gotten too soft, that it’s not the hardcore game that it started out being.

Excuse me?

Hardcore?

Are we talking about the same game here?  I have been playing MMOs for a long time and frankly, WoW at launch was one of the, if not the, most casual game on the market.  That, my friends, is why it was so successful.  People say it was the smooth launch or the great quality, but having played at launch, I can tell you it wasn’t smooth.  Anyone remember how many days people were reimbursed thanks to server down times?  Anyone remember 3-hour queue times to get into the game? [Editor's note: I do!]

But I digress.

The point I was making was that WoW was a casual game for casual audiences that didn’t have eight hours a day to put into a game.  I’m sorry if I sound a little harsh here, but WoW was, and still is, an MMO for gaming pussies.  Yes, fucking gaming wimps.  You want to complain about WoW being too casual?  Why the fuck aren’t you playing Everquest?  Don’t like twenty-hour spawn timers for raid bosses?  Don’t like quest objectives that only spawn every twelve hours on a random cycle, so there might be a placeholder instead of the quest objective?  Don’t like getting experience debt every time you die so it takes even longer to level up? And PvP is so much lamer.  I mean, playing on a PvP server may be more difficult because you’re getting ganked all the time, but it’s not like it costs anything.  People can’t loot your corpse and steal even a portion of your money, let alone any of your items or gear.  Shit, it doesn’t even damage your equipment! You want some hardcore PvP go play something like EVE, where people can actually make a career out of ganking people and stealing their shit.

It just amazes me that people can complain that WoW has become too casual when it has always been catered to a causal audience.  It’s like buying a Ford Focus and then complaining that the next year’s model has become too centered on economy class.  I just don’t understand how people can even consider themselves hardcore when the extent of their hardcoreness is some lame WoW raid boss that takes fifteen minutes to beat.  Half the time the reason people can’t do raids is plain old stupidity.  Yes, gear is a huge factor, but it’s amazing how many people don’t grasp the concept -  that standing in fire is bad.  I stick by my observation that the only thing making WoW raids difficult is that seventy-five percent of their player base is dumber than a box of shit.

You want hard boss fights, go play Final Fantasy XI.  They’re boring as shit, but they’ve got some pretty difficult bosses in there, from what I hear.

I’m not saying that WoW is a bad game.  I enjoy it, but I enjoy it for what it is.  It’s the McDonald’s or Burger King of the MMO world.  It’s the Micheal Bay of online gaming.  It’s mass market crap broken down into easily digestible tidbits for a wide audience to, quite simply, make as much money as possible.  The only hardcore thing about WoW is the amount of money they make off people who think that spamming their DPS after every trash encounter makes them cool or think that naming their guild something Latin makes them sound like badasses.

There you go, feel free to comment if you want, but if you disagree you’ll just have to deal with me telling you how wrong you are.  If you agree, though, you’re a fucking follower and should get a backbone before you devolve into a tube worm or something.  You can’t win here, so just Shut Yer Mouth.  I’m out.

The Desert Eagle and the Magnum have been staples of first-person shooters for a long time now, and I thought I’d create a tribute video to celebrate these glorious weapons. Actually, this serves more as a test of my own video creation skills than anything else, and as such I’d like to ask anyone who watches to provide feedback.

As you can tell, I’m no voice actor, and perhaps for future videos I might require someone else to do that for me, perhaps even a Ripten reader. Email me at sam@ripten.com if you enjoyed this video and would like to read out my bad jokes on future videos. Again, feedback is welcome from anyone, just leave a comment below or email me.

In a fit of laughter, Final Fantasy director, Motomu Toriyama, and producer, Yoshinori Kitase, revealed that the latest installment of the series (XIII) would have a main storyline that lasted around 50 hours long. This bit of information was unearthed during a Q&A session by Spanish gaming site Meristation.

As  someone who loves the FF RPG series, this means that I will have more time to play and less time to do other bothersome things like bathe and sleep.

Looking to buy a PS3 anytime soon? Wanting to get the best deal? Well, Best Buy has got a pretty nice PS3 bundle their offering right now. The bundle includes the 80GB model of the PS3 hardware for $399.99, along with a copy of LittleBigPlanet and a Blu-ray copy of Wall-E for FREE! Quite an impressive package, so if you’re interested in getting a PS3, I’d put some thought into this deal.

Source: Ars Technica

A brief but powerful email just hit our inbox. What it lacks in words, it makes up for in saliva inducing premonitions. Tune in tonight at 7pm ET/PT to see the Olivia Munn Playboy cover revealed on G4TV’s Attack of the Show.

As for all you hot and heavy gamer girls, sit tight, I’m sure G4TV will announce the Kevin Pereira Playgirl cover soon enough.

Press release and video after the jump.

***ATTACK OF THE SHOW EXCLUSIVE***

TONIGHT, Tuesday, June 16 “Attack of the Show” Reveals the Cover of the 2009 July/August Issue of Playboy Magazine

With “AOTS” Host Olivia Munn, LIVE, only on G4

Tune In to G4 for a LIVE, First Look at the Cover at 7pm ET/PT

E3 is back, and so are our glowing and always insightful predictions. These are from the heart people. Grab a Kleenex and hit the jump.

Beau Rosser

Nintendo will make me feel nostalgic, Sony will excite me, and Microsoft will show me games I don’t really want to play, but they’ll insist that I get in the movies… again. Oddly enough, there will be plenty of iPhone games that use the hardware for its strengths – and I will be excited.

That’s it.

–

Sam Naylor

E3 predictions are getting easier and easier. Microsoft will disappoint fans, Sony will disappoint fans, and Nintendo will disappoint fans.

But seriously, Microsoft will disappoint by announcing nothing of real value, Sony will disappoint by announcing okay stuff in an awful way, and Nintendo will disappoint with, well, whatever they announce. For people who aren’t fans, each company will have some good things and some boring things to say.

–

Chad Lakkis

My prediction. The seats will be uncomfortable on the flight there and back. The conferences themselves will be full of people that look like me (unshaven and with a musky smell).

Nintendo will reveal a line up of porn inspired titles and finish their presentation off by shooting random attendees in the head.

Microsoft will blow the casual doors off the place by introducing a $99 easy bake oven adapter (chocolate frosting not included).

And last but not least, Sony will force people to adopt Home by taking all of E3 hostage and demanding the world’s population to register for the service in exchange for their safe return.

–

Sean Mitchuson

Microsoft will have fancy pictures, Sony will have fancy ladies, and Nintendo will announce Fancy Boy for DSi. If you cant tell, I have no idea. Heh.

–

Demi Adejuyigbe

Microsoft will announce a sequel to Alan Wake. This sequel will be released before Alan Wake is. They’ll also announce Alpine Legend to be a real game, and it will become one of their Greatest Hits games only days after its release. The Zune HD will be presented to the convention-goers, because of its connectivity with Xbox Live. Unfortunately, that’s all it does- Microsoft forgot to implement music, photos, and videos into the device. When started up, all you see is a 10min. long loading video that takes up all of the HD space.

Nintendo will bring out Cammy Dunaway, and she’ll break her jaw within seconds from smiling too hard. They’ll announce a new Mario Kart game for the DS, and bring it out on the stage to demo, but they won’t hook it up to the screen, so everyone can only see what appears to be Cammy having a seizure. Reggie will come out and announce the Wii Micro. It has Wii Sports and Smash Bros. built in, and doesn’t have a CD drive, but that’s okay, because those are the only two games people play on the Wii.

Sony will show off an LBP sequel called BigLittlePlanet. In which you play the Earth, as it rotates. Soon after its release, gamers everywhere will develop carpal tunnel from the game’s “Infinite Rotate Mode.” They’ll show off MAG, and when they try to set up the game with 256 people, the game will lag out, When they try to set it up again, we hear someone screaming “GIANT PENUS” into their microphone. They’ll also announce the PSP go to the audience, but the leak will have progressed so far at this point, that everyone in the audience will already have one. The real announcement will come from the crowd, as someone announces instructions for hacking the PSP go.

Ubisoft will announce Imagine: Assassin’s Creedz for the DS, which targets young children and teaches them how to kill silently, Activision will announce Guitar Hero 6, 8Bit Hero, and Guitar Hero: Nickelback, all to be released on Christmas Day… 2009. Taito will announce Geriatric Ward Mama, where you play Cooking Mama’s Mama, as you deflect old pervs from hitting on you. Pandemic will announce Exploooooodo!, a game in which you drive a car down a straight track, and blow up stuff around you. THQ will announce MX vs. ATX 5. It sucks.

–

Rangebar Merani

I’ll keep my predictions short and straight to the point. Nintendo will announce a new Mario and Zelda game, both for the Wii. Sony will officially announce the “slim” PS3 model that has been floating around the internet. And as for Microsoft, they will announce some sort of new Xbox Live experience, something even more casual and family friendly as they try and take more of Nintendo’s ideas. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for the new Mario and Zelda game though!

–

Jonathan Zungre

I only have one prediction: You think Microsofts press conference is over after they show clips from Halo 3: ODST, until all the lights go off and a guitar wails in the darkness. Then the entire stage blows up, including the presenters, and Duke Nukem, the real Duke Nukem climbs on top of the rubble and says, “hail to the king baby.” Duke writes “Duke Nukem Forever, 360 exclusive, fall 2009″, in the far wall with 50 cal bullet holes. Then the entire convention center explodes.

–

Patrick Steen

PSP Go (hehe – not a prediction)
PS3 price cut (PS3 slim at TGS)
Microsoft’s motion sensing camera with voice activation
New Zelda for Wii
Two new big game announcements for PS3
LBP, MGS on PSP
MGS on PS3
MGS on 360
Epic to announce new 360 exclusive
Crysis 2 for PS3, 360 and PC

–

More predictions from additional writers here will be added as the crystal ball reveals them.

This week looks like another great one in game releases with inFamous and Damnation both hitting stores, along with the Up, the game based on the Pixar movie. Hit the jump for the full list of games coming out this week and my pick of the week.

Pick of the Week: inFamous

Xbox 360:

• Damnation
• Fallout 3 Game Add-On Pack – The Pitt and Operation Anchorage
• Up

PS3:

• Cross Edge
• Damnation
• inFamous
• Up

Wii:

• Rolling Stone: Drum King
• Space Camp
• Speed Zone
• The Munchables
• Up

PC:

• Damnation
• Delta Force: Xtreme 2
• Fallout 3 Game Add-On Pack – The Pitt and Operation Anchorage
• Up

PS2:

• Secret Agent Clank
• Up

DS:

• Imagine: Makeup Artist
• Jake Hunter Detective Story: Memories of the Past
• Personal Trainer: Walking
• Puffins: Island Adventure
• Space Camp
• Up

PSP:

• Crimson Gem Saga
• Up

The charm of the Ripcast, as our regular listeners know, is the overwhelming enthusiasm of the Ripcast crew. You can tell we really love what we do. Listen to Beau yawn as John, Dan, and Sam talk about strategy games, and we once again manage to make racism fun!

Marmite.

If you’d like to subscribe to the Ripten Radio Ripcast, you can do so by visiting the iTunes Music Store. Feel free to leave a review while you’re at it. If you have any questions for the cast, send them via email to jzungre@ripten.com, or head over to our forums and ask your questions there.

A popular criticism of gaming on the PC is the cost of upgrading your machine to meet the specifications for all the latest games. What people who say this tend to forget, though, is there are plenty of games you can play on your PC without needing a hulking beast of a computer to run.

In an attempt at converting more people to PC gaming, I’ve compiled a few of my favourite games that virtually any computer from the last ten years will be able to run without too much trouble. You’re not going to be running Crysis on your old hunk o’ junk, so why bother? Try one of these fantastic games instead. Chances are, they’re better than Crysis anyway.

Fallout

I’m sure you’re not surprised to see this here. Fallout (and to a lesser extent, Fallout 2) was, ironically, a haven in a wasteland of linear games. Fallout is famous for being incredibly flexible to the player; most notable is the ability to play through without even using combat, just by interacting with the huge cast of characters. So open was Fallout that people are able to play through the game and see almost nothing that another player might have seen. Sure, there are modern games that use the “open world” dynamic, but Fallout still stands up as one of the biggest and most expansive worlds open to players today.

System Requirements:

DOS: Pentium-90, 32 megs of RAM, 2x CD-ROM drive, SVGA (VESA-compliant), SoundBlaster-compatible.

Win95: Pentium-90, 16 megs of RAM, DirectX 3.0a or 5.0, 2x CD-ROM drive, SVGA, DirectSound compatible sound card.

Mac: PowerMac with 16000k free memory, CD-ROM, System 7.1.2 or higher.

All versions require 10+ megs of hard drive space and a mouse.

Peggle

It’s not only old games that run on old PCs. Peggle is only two years old, but it has already reached the unofficial title of “most addictive puzzle game ever created”. The game consists of firing a ball at pegs in the hope of clearing all of the orange ones using just ten balls. Simple formula, but the result is an incredibly addicting and absorbing puzzle game. Well, I say puzzle game, but when you really break it down, there’s not much you can control directly other than the first few bounces of the ball. Even so, Peggle has eaten so many hours of my life that it just has to go on the list.

System Requirements:

Win 98/ME/2000/XP/Vista: Pentium III, 700 MHz or faster, 256 MB RAM, DirectX 7.0.

Mac OS 10.3.9 and later: G4,G5 or Intel Core Duo, 256 MB RAM.

15Mb disk space and an Internet connection is required to register both the download and CD-ROM versions of the game.

Grim Fandango

Tim Scafer’s masterpiece Grim Fandango was an obvious choice for this list. The game is undoubtedly one of the wittiest and best written games ever made, and features a cast who, ironically enough, are brought to life with excellent voice acting and a fantastic story. Okay, I might be laying on the praise a bit heavily, but this game really deserves your attention. The adventure genre, often considered a dead art nowadays, reached a peak in Grim Fandango. There’s only one excuse not to play this game: illiteracy. If you’re reading this, you need to play Grim Fandango.

System Requirements:

Windows: 133 MHz processor, 32 MB RAM, 30 MB hard disk space, 4 MB video card.

Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2

Perhaps not the most critically acclaimed game on this list, but certainly one of the best in terms of sheer fun. Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2 is a full-on real time strategy game full of preposterous and brilliant units, topped with a helping of self-parody and real-time FMV silliness. In the universe of Red Alert 2, tanks that can become trees face off against soldiers that can mind-control other units, and it makes sense. The expansion pack even added flying saucers. A fine example of an RTS that is pure entertainment from start to finish.

System Requirements:

Windows: 266 MHz Processor, 64 MB RAM, 350 MB HDD space, 4x CD-ROM Drive, 2 MB video card, DirectSound-compatible soundcard.

Deus Ex

Widely considered to be one of the best PC games ever made, Deus Ex is an example of an FPSRPG- that is, a first-person shooter/role-playing game hybrid. Like Fallout, Deus Ex is one of the most non-linear games you can play- each problem can be worked around in a multitude of ways. This usually results in unique player experiences, as it could take many, many playthroughs to see every inch of the game. As the old saying goes: “Deus Ex was awesome. Man, I should play that again.” Well, I say ‘old saying’: I just made that up. I’ve heard people say it though, honest!

System Requirements:

Windows: 300 MHz CPU, 64 MB RAM, 4 MB video card RAM, 4X CD-ROM drive, DirectX 7.0a, 150 MB available hard disk space.

Mac: PowerPC G3 (266 MHz), 64 MB RAM, 150 MB disk space, mouse or compatible device, 4x CD-ROM, 3D accelerator card.

Quake

Forget the outdated controls and nasty graphics. It’s Quake. Sure, it takes some configuration to get the controls to work properly, but once that’s done, Quake is as frantic and eye-bleedingly brilliant as ever. Get a few friends over for a LAN game, or play over the internet, and you’ve got yourself an evening of instant entertainment. There are endless custom maps coming out of the community, and the face-melting pace of the game keep the thrills coming, even after a horrible clichéd phrase like “keep the thrills coming”. Once you pop [the disc in the drive], you just can’t stop!

System Requirements:

IRIX 5.3 / Linux 1.3.88 / MS-DOS 5.0 / Solaris 2.5.1 / Windows: 66 MHz Processor, FPU, 8 MB RAM, 80 MB Hard disk space, 1 MB Graphics card.

Starcraft

Starcraft is one of the most popular PC games of all time, especially among the competitive scene. The Korean Starcraft circuit is so popular, in fact, that players have become celebrities and the competitions are broadcast nationwide on TV. This is perhaps indicative of the quality of the game: it revolutionised the real-time strategy genre, and is one of the deepest strategy games available. UC Berkeley even offers a course on the various strategies and theories surrounding the game.

System Requirements:

Windows/Mac: 90 MHz processor, 16 MB RAM, 640×480 8-bit display.

The Secret of Monkey Island

Alongside Grim Fandango, The Secret of Monkey Island is often heralded as the Holy Grail of PC adventure games. The writing is the holy water in the Grail, though; Guybrush Threepwood’s caption for the above image is simply “That’s the second biggest monkey head I’ve ever seen!” Seriously, this game is full of great one-liners similar to this one, and is a stickler for the adventure formula- make the puzzles as outlandish and crazy as possible. One of the most relentlessly funny games ever produced.

System Requirements:

MS-DOS 5.0 or higher: 386/33 DX, 1 Mb EMS, 256 color VGA/MCGA, SoundBlaster, Adlib, Roland MT 32. Basically, your computer can run this game.

World Of Goo

World of Goo serves as an example of a new market of games that even low-spec PC users can enjoy: Indie games. Indie games aren’t known for their graphical prowess, but rather for their often unique gameplay and attention to detail. World of Goo is a physics based puzzle game where you must build a tower out of bits of goo. It’s got all the makings of a great puzzle game: colourful and bright visuals, a catchy soundtrack, a deceptively simple mechanic, and little bits of what appears to be sewage. Actually, scratch that last point. That bit’s unique to World of Goo.

System Requirements:

Windows: 1.0 GHz or faster CPU, 3D Graphics Card, DirectX 9, 512MB RAM, 100MB hard drive space. One of the more demanding games on this list, but it shouldn’t cause too much trouble if you’ve got a modern PC.

Mac: OSX 10.4 or newer, 1.0 GHz or faster Intel or PPC processor, 512 MB or more RAM, 3D graphics accelerator, OpenGL 1.1 or newer.

Half-Life

Although this list is in no particular order, I decided to put Half-Life here, at the bottom. Why? Because, without all of the hyperbole I’ve poured into the descriptions of the other games, Half-Life is definitely one of the best games ever made. The total immersion that you have while you play, the feeling that you actually are Gordon Freeman, has only been matched by the sequel, Half-Life 2. All too often, when a game focuses on story, or level design, or the gunplay, the other areas suffer slightly. The massive amount of fine-tuning and polish put into Half-Life is evident from the fact that every one of these areas is top-notch. There’s a reason that people praise this game so much, you know; it really is something that everyone must play.

System Requirements:

Windows: Pentium 133 MHz, 24 MB RAM, SVGA video card, Windows-compatible sound card, 2x CD-ROM drive, 400 MB hard-disk space.

Well, there you have it. I went through a lot of options to get this down to just ten entries; there are a plenty of great games that can run on older machines. If your favourite isn’t on the list, feel free to leave a comment with a small explanation, and I’ll add them to the bottom of this post. Similarly, if you need help tracking down some of these old games, or can’t get them to run, head over to the forums and the community will be glad to help out.

I’ve made this point at least three times this year, but if all goes as planned, there will be 20 Guitar Hero games in existence at the end of 2009. Yes, twenty. But since RedOctane and Harmonix sold the series after three games, the other 17 seems to have come straight from Activision, even though they’ve only had the series for two and a half years. And now, with every possible sign, save for an outright announcement, proving the existence of Guitar Hero: Van Halen, it’s pretty safe to assume that this game is coming out. Unfortunately.

It’s no secret that I’m not too fond of Activision’s franchise exploiting, but it could definitely be a lot worse- and we can prove it. We here at Ripten dug deep into Activision’s trash and found a lengthy list of ideas that were cut from their lineup, but for the sake of time, we selected the best five, along with their box arts, and posted them after the jump.

5. Guitar Hero: One-Hit Wonders

THE PITCH: Guitar Hero’s back, with the songs you love from the bands you’ve never heard of! One-hit wonders from the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and early 2000s take you back to the time when you’d rock out to “Jesse’s Girl” in your bedroom, or when you got kicked off of the bus for playing “Who Let The Dogs Out?” too loudly, or even that time you did the “Macarena” at your 20th birthday party… and no one else did. You can dance if you want to, but all your friends will be lining up to play Guitar Hero: One-Hit Wonders! Be one of the first 99 to preorder, and you’ll recieve a red balloon!

THE SETLIST:
Rick Springfield – Jesse’s Girl
Vanilla Ice – Ice, Ice, Baby
Toni Basil – Mickey
Carl Douglas – Kung Fu Fighting
Men Without Hats – The Safety Dance

THE PROBLEM: It’s simple- it’s a game full of songs that most people either tried to forget, or will soon try to forget once the challenge of drunkenly FC’ing the vocals for a-ha’s Take On Me comes into play. It also doesn’t leave much to the imagination with DLC. Since Activision can’t provide full-disc downloads for a one-hit wonders game, it’ll just be download pack after download pack until people start getting tired of the songs. The biggest problem? No one wants to be the guy at the party that makes everyone play Divinyls’s I Touch Myself.

4. Guitar Hero: Smash Hits: Smash Hits!

THE PITCH: Guitar Hero is back… again! This time, with the best of the best that you personally selected! Guitar Hero: Smash Hits was such a success, now we bring you the smash hits from the smash hits! With such songs as Through The Fire And Flames, Monkey Wrench, Killer Queen, and more, the fun never stops! This time, the hits are even smashier! Preorder early, and you’ll get a downloadable code redeemable for one free downloadable song!

THE SETLIST:
Well, pretty much half of Guitar Hero: Smash Hits. The rest will come in DLC.

THE PROBLEM:
Aside from the fact that the songs are literally recycled from the game that directly preceded it… well, no that’s pretty much the problem. If you look, you’ll notice that this box art has no console-specific label, and that’s because it’s going to every platform they can think of, regardless of generation- Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, Xbox, Gamecube, PS2, DS, PSP, Gizmondo, N-Gage, iPhone, Android phones, TI calculators, iPod minis -even microwave LCDs. Just press the one followed by zeroes in rhythm with Freebird. Ripten cannot be liable for any food that ends up burnt in the process.

3. 8Bit Hero

THE PITCH: Bleep bloop bleep blop bleep! Grab your messenger bags and get ready for 8Bit Hero! With tracks by your favorite chiptunes artists, this game is sure to bring out the indie hipster in you! With the innovative Gameboy controller and 8bit interface, 8Bit Hero is fun for kids of all ages! Preoder now and get the limited edition NES controller for 8Bit Hero!

THE SETLIST:
Chip Hero – Chip Hero
Anamanaguchi – Power Supply
Nullsleep – Supernova Kiss
Nintendo – Mario Bros Theme
Bit.shifter – March of the Nucleotides

THE PROBLEM: First and foremost, this game would never happen. Although it’s mostly awesome, chiptunes aren’t exactly marketable. Especially with songs that most people haven’t heard of. Sure, the “8bit interface” would be done in a way much better than what you see above, but for the most part, it wouldn’t look too well. As for the Gameboy controller- innovative isn’t the word you want to use when you’ve modified someone else’s product a little. In this case, the word would be painful. And speaking of pain…

2. Guitar Hero: Dragonforce DS

THE PITCH: The most popular band from Guitar Hero 3 is back with their own game on the DS! If you’ve ever felt the need for a challenge on the go, the new five-finger Guitar Pack that comes with Guitar Hero: Dragonforce is just for you! Challenge your friends head-to-head over Nintendo WiFi, or play alone! Whether on the bus, or in the doctor’s office, Guitar Hero: Dragonforce DS is a good challenge for everybody! Preorder now and get a free Dragonforce wrist cast!

THE SETLIST:
Every single Dragonforce song ever producded.

THE PROBLEM:
Well it’s not a problem, depending on what perspective you’re looking at it from. From Activision’s position, it’s horrible. Hand cramps will lead to lawsuits, which in turn leads to bankruptcy. From a doctor’s standpoint, it’s fantastic. Not to mention that Dragonforce… kind of sucks.

1. Guitar Hero: STOMP

THE PITCH: All of the fun from the famous percussion show comes to your living room with Guitar Hero: STOMP! Rattle, shake, and roll your way across 7 different venues with the ingenious STOMP gloves, shoes, and trash-can controller for the best gameplay! With such onomatopoeic hits as “Crash“, “Bang“, and “Floom“, the fun never stops with Guitar Hero: STOMP! Preorder now and get your limited edition STOMP! V-neck!

THE SETLIST:
Boom
Plunk
Zoom
Rattle
Icky Icky Icky Pekang Zooboing Nee Won

THE PROBLEM: You’ve all undoubtedly heard about STOMP, right? I mean, it’s a great show, and if you ever get the chance to see it, by all means- do. But it’s loud. Very boisterous and raucous, and no one that lives in an apartment would ever get the chance to play it without being evicted. Banging your hands and feet against stuff would get boring very quickly, and holding a trash can over your butt won’t make it any funner. Of course, knowing the general public, this thing would sell like hotcakes, and we’d eventually see the sequel with full-fledged multiplayer.

Sites with user driven content sound great, but are they? N4G can be viewed as an example to many who have used it over the years of a site which started out great and has become little more than a corporate mouthpiece in recent months.

If you have tried to submit a story containing video or images to the site recently, chances are that you have been met with hordes of individuals directing you to embed the video/images. That wasn’t always the case. The site used to be much more laid back and willing to reward the sites hosting the content as long as they had a link to it on their own. So what has changed? Well, one thing that hasn’t is N4G’s official policy regarding the inclusion of video and images (shown below):

Attach Video (Step 3)
This step is optional, but if your story is linking to YouTube, GameTrialers.com or any other video site you can embed the video into your N4G news post. To do this copy and paste the video code into the “Attach Video” form. To find the video code look for words like “Embed” or “Add Video to Website” on the video sites.

Adding Story Images
If your news post link to some new Halo 3 screenshots you can also upload those screenshots to N4G.com. Many readers are unable to visit the source sites because their workplace blocks access to game sites like IGN and Gamespot. By uploading some of the screenshots to N4G these readers will also be able to view the new screens.

The policy does not say that you must embed the video or images in the post you make, it simply says that you “can”. So, if the policy hasn’t changed, why are so many of the people that use N4G to promote news getting so much slack? The answer lies in the vision of the site’s moderators (some of which run their own gaming sites which clearly causes a conflict of interest on some level).

It seems that these moderators have decided to create their own law (one that is not echoed in the site’s official policy outlined above). Below is a post that appears in the site’s forum (the place everyone goes to look for official policy updates – not):

Time for a bump, as this came up today.

Embedding videos is optional for this reason only: Some sites do not provide embed code (major news networks, for example).

If there is embed code, it has to be embedded.

Let me tell you what is really going on. N4G merged with gaming site Gamesradar not long ago, and now acts as the news feed for that site. Having worked in the web design/user interface industry for nearly 10 years before starting Ripten, I can tell you that companies like to minimize clicks. A user coming from Gamesradar would have to click the news link on that site taking them to N4G and then click once again to see the actual video or image hosted on the source site. But that is way to many clicks for a Gamesradar reader. So while the policy on the site says you have an option, it seems that N4G is more than ready to force its contributors to embed content to help their cause even if it means hurting those who helped them build their presence in the first place.

N4G used to be a great site to help get news out to the masses if your site was just getting started. In fact, when Ripten started, I had been asked to help promote N4G by one of their founders through the addition of a social network button allowing our readers to submit our content to their site. I believed in what they were doing and saw the benefit of working with them. However the dictatorship that exists now with the site’s moderators has left a foul taste in the mouths of many.

This is not about Ripten’s “beef” with N4G. The reality is that we rarely create our own video content, however there are large gaming sites, and even lesser known outlets like HipHopGamer, who are creating their own video content and being forced to embed that content on N4G. HHG has openly expressed his distaste with the strong arming tactic, and I have personally spoken with individuals responsible for distributing the video content created by even main stream outlets, and it is safe to say that they have also experienced the embedding strong arm of N4G.

You may not like our content. You may not agree with our opinions. All of that is fine. What you should however agree with is that what drew contributors to N4G was in large part the ability to drive traffic to the news they found/created (the elite were even offered bonuses to do so, some of which are rewarded with the site’s moderator title today). That appeal is fading, and it should serve as a warning to us all the next time we consider helping a site that revolves around user generated content get its feet off the ground. I don’t “hate” N4G, but I do find the direction the site is heading to be an unfortunate one.

In the immediate future, it seems that sites creating original content will need to do away with the embed feature or insert multiple ads into their video to offset the loss of direct traffic. Sound off in the comment section below.

The release of the Mass Effect 2 teaser trailer has long passed and the speculation continues. Everyone is vying to prove his or her arguments correct but I believe the most palpable and chief grounds for speculation lie within the Mass Effect 2 teaser website that Bioware provides for us. Upon visiting the site, you will notice the significant amount of attention given to Cerberus.  The ME2 teaser website is created to resemble that of a Cerberus database, which is quite odd. This is all complimented by murky and mysterious ambient music in the background.

“In the second game, you’re going to go through a darker period where you’re really looking for answers. It’s a lot harder to find what the realities are and as there are a lot of twist and turns and its genuinely a darker experience.” Casey Hudson, Project Manager

Cerberus is an Alliance Black Ops organization that has gone rogue in the first Mass Effect title. They specialize in conducting potentially deadly experiments on humans with the optimism of making humans become more influential in the galaxy, even at the expense of human lives. This notion was introduced in Mass Effect and explored deeper in Mass Effect: Ascension. The group operates out of a front on Earth led by a figure called the Illusive Man.

Presently, there is much speculation concerning the role of Cerberus in Mass Effect 2. What I have done is gazed intensely at the possibilities from what I know of them from the first ME game to their position in Ascension, and created four solid probable positions Cerberus could take part in during Mass Effect 2.

The Thorn in the Side

For anyone who has witnessed the original Star Wars trilogy would be familiar with Jabba the Hutt and his relentless pursuit of Han Solo. While Jabba did not serve as the main villain in any of the Star Wars films, he was somewhat of a nuisance to the greater cause. It is possible that Cerberus would be very similar to Commander Shepard in Mass Effect 2 by showing up in just the wrong moments, giving Shepard an extra burden to carry. Why would Cerberus serve as annoyance to Shepard in ME2 you ask? Well Shepard is a galactic hero, spectre, and a human. Shepard could be of much value to Cerberus and their quest for human domination but because the commander is tasked to save the galaxy (aliens and humans), perhaps Cerberus would want Shepard to adjust things to tilt the pendulum in favor of humanity, even at the expense of human and alien lives. Nevertheless, Cerberus in Mass Effect 2 could simply just be that “gnat” that persists to pester you while doing your task of saving the galaxy.

The Necessary Evil

If Cerberus is not exasperation to Shepard, they could be quite the ally. This is a recurring theme in many movies; the protagonist must sell his or her soul to the Devil in exchange for the means to complete their perspective task. Perhaps both Shepard and Cerberus would need to team up to complete a particular task. While this may come bitter to Shepard, the first human Spectre would realize that without the resources of Cerberus, the greater task would be nearly impossible to complete. This would in return create unification between Shepard and Cerberus. The union between Shepard and Cerberus could include many things such as a Cerberus party member or two or access to top secret intel (To which may include information on the Reapers that Ceberus knew about). After Shepard and Cerberus obtain what they require from one another, the relationship could possibly conclude in either a final confrontation or pact with the radical human group, Cerberus, depending on either a Paragon or Renegade choice Shepard decides on.

The Undercover Party Member

It be quite the happening if late in Mass Effect 2, it is revealed that one of Shepard’s party member is indeed a Cerberus operative. From reading the novel, Mass Effect: Accession I retained the fact that Cerberus has a nice abundance of operatives working within the Alliance and they all report vital information back to the Illusive Man. This undercover Alliance party member would be either male or female depending on the sex of your perspective Shepard, which would give the player another romance option. So if your Shepard were female, early on in the game a male alliance member would become accepted as a Normandy crewmember, filling the void that was left from the Ashley/Kaiden decision in the first Mass Effect. He will serve on the Normandy, accompany Shepard on missions if chosen, and be a potential romance option. Then the huge revelation (And we all know Bioware loves twist) would occur and reveal that Shepard’s new love toy is infact a Cerberus operative, leaving what would be a tough decision for Shepard, turn the operative in or kill the operative; again, depending on a paragon or renegade decision Shepard makes.

The Villain (The Illusive Man)

I do not think that the Illusive Man would have received quite the build up in Mass Effect: Ascension if he were not to be a great deal in Mass Effect 2. Before the first Mass Effect, we got the novel Mass Effect: Revelation, which introduced us to Saren and his callous means of getting business done. Saren later became the leading villain in Mass Effect with the aid from Sovereign. The Illusive Man holds similar aura to that of Saren and I would not be surprised if he were to be the villain in Mass Effect 2, leading the Cerberus organization. For Bioware to keep the plot on track with the imminent reaper invasion there would have to be some indistinct correlation between Cerberus and the Reapers like there was for Saren in Mass Effect. As implausible as this may sound, I find this as one of the more likely scenario for Cerberus in Mass Effect 2.

I know most of this all sounds far-fetched and maybe even exaggerated, but that is where the fun in speculation arises. We essentially will not identify the true role of Cerberus until more fine points about Mass Effect 2 becomes available. I hope that the Mecca of gaming, E3 2009 will serve as the occasion where much more solid information comes about for ME2. Until then, continue to follow Ripten as we will bring you the latest information regarding Mass Effect 2 as soon as it becomes available.

In case you’re new to the site, or just a little forgetful, I’d like to remind everyone that Ripten does actually have forums. Unfortunately, we’ve had trouble with people trying to advertise their products for free (Spammers) in the past. However, I’ve made sure that the forums are completely free of spam, but alas, that meant losing a lot of old threads and posts, as well as users. If you registered after the 30th of August 2008, your account has been deleted. I sincerely apologise for this, as well as for the loss of all the threads, but it was necessary to clean up the damn place. I urge you to sign up again and get the forums going again- they’re a bit bare at the moment, but start some threads, make some posts, and have a good time.

Before you sign up for a new account, though, take a look here. Because of spammers, I’m going to be approving your accounts manually for now, so email me (sam[at]ripten[dot]com) with the info in that post and I’ll approve you within a day.

We’re also looking for community moderators. If you wish to become a moderator, let me know (email, comment, post on forums) and if you’re a pretty cool guy then I’ll make you an all-powerful and respected mod. As a mod, you’ll help us clean out spammers, so we’ll be able to have open registration again, and keep the forums in tip-top condition. Remember, the more people that sign up and socialise, the better the community. The better the community, the better the site!

[Congratulations DarksideClassic! Shoot me an email at demi@ripten.com and I'll send you your code pronto! For everyone else, stay tuned to Ripten, as we'll be sure to have another contest soon, but this time, with a different method of entry. :) - Demi A.]

Although the average human attention span is less than that of a retarded meerkat, Halo 3 seems to have held its own extremely well in the year and a half that it’s been out. Even now, with a multitude of different FPSes, TPSes, and Halo Wars, Halo 3 is pretty popular amongst Xbox Live members, despite the fact that its maps are pretty limited.

We here at Ripten aim to fix that problem, by holding a contest in which you can win the brand new Halo 3 Mythic Map Pack! The map pack contains three maps- Assembly, Orbital and Sandbox, and a brand new Forge experience (you can start on a blank slate!) for more thrilling multiplayer action.

As of now, the Map Pack hasn’t been officially released, and the only way to get a code for the maps is through the Halo Wars Limited Edition. But, thanks to Microsoft and Ron “Greybush” Workman, we’ve got a code for one lucky reader out there. Hit the jump to learn how you can win!

All you have to do to win is register for an account (if you don’t already have one) and leave a comment on this post below. You will then be automatically entered. A winner will be selected at random by 11:59 PM CST Tuesday, March 10th. Only one entry permitted per person — don’t make us call the IP police!

I’ve never been a RTS fan, especially when the genre tries to break into the console market.  At best there is a distinct sense of a lack of control in the game, and at worst it’s unplayable.  Obviously, any excitement for Halo Wars was lost on me.  Recently, however, I got to reminiscing about the entire Halo franchise and how substantially things have changed over the course of it’s history, many of them in part due to the franchise’s own innovations.

Part of what got me to thinking about all of this was that it’s pretty much the same way I felt about first-person shooters on consoles before I played Halo.  A controller would never hold a candle to a mouse and keyboard.  There is more accuracy with a mouse than a game pad and getting weapons and items would always be quicker on a keyboard when you can just press one button for whatever weapon you needed.  Hell, at that time I was very much not an Xbox fan.

I remember hearing from friends about this awesome game they’ve been playing in their rooms called Halo.  They invited me up a few times, but the idea of sitting around playing a FPS on a console that wasn’t GoldenEye was insane.  I certainly wasn’t going to play some crappy Microsoft game on their crappy system.  Besides, I told myself, at best it’s just another first-person shooter, and they’re never that good.  Hell, my friends probably only liked it because it was extra gory or something.

It wasn’t until I was deployed in Iraq and had gone through two separate PS2s that I was willing to even give the Xbox a chance.  We were having problems with our PS2s in the desert constantly getting messed up from the sand.  We did what we could, but there is just no way to keep things sand free with the set up that we were working with.  I had heard that the Xbox is a little more durable than the PlayStation from some people we were supporting, so I figured I’d give it a shot.

Of course, they also told me that I HAD to get Halo.  It was simply one of those games that every person had to own if they owned the system.  I still didn’t buy into all that, and made several game purchases before I finally gave in and got Halo.  I had no idea what I was in for.

One of my teammates, Smith, and I spent pretty much all our waking hours for the next several weeks just playing the hell out of the game.  I had gotten several other ones in the mail and such, and they were great games, but Halo was just an awesome experience.  The story was spectacular, the characters were all great in their over the top way, and the gameplay was just phenomenal.  I honestly felt that I hadn’t had a gaming experience like this one since I first played Half-Life.

The very best part of the entire experience, however, was the co-op.  I probably would have only played through the game once and then forgotten about it if it wasn’t for the co-op.  It was one of the few games that I challenged myself to go through the harder difficulty settings simply because I wanted to make sure I had picked the bones of the game clean.

The entire control set up was fantastic and it really was a revolution in the genre as far as console based FPS were concerned.  Games before Halo always touted off how many weapons you could get or how many different bad guys you would see and things like that.  Things were limited in Halo, but in a good way.  You could only carry what makes sense to carry (I still don’t understand where Gordon Freeman keeps all his weapons).

With only having those weapons, you weren’t sitting around digging through some sort of inventory or dropdown to find the gun you wanted when you wanted it.  You simply pressed a button to switch.  It simplified controls but also made the game suddenly more complex.  You actually had to think about what weapons you wanted or needed now, not when to actually use them but if you even wanted to carry them.  I look at the sniper rifle and rocket launcher as great examples of the thought that had to go into what weapons you wanted to carry.

In most FPS, you had them available all the time, so you could just whip them out and snipe a bastard, or blow up their tank.  Suddenly with Halo, you really had to think about the pros and cons of each weapon.  A rocket launcher probably isn’t that great for using against a bunch of little guys, but if you drop it for that SMG, you won’t have it later.  You actually had to think about what was going on and figure out your play style.

The other great thing that Halo really introduced was the regenerating health system.  It’s all over the place these days simply because it streamlines the gameplay.  Everything before Halo had some sort of health pack or healing system where you simply had to try and survive to find more health, like it was ammo or something.  With Halo, you always had “something” to fall back on.  Granted, in the first Halo you still had health after your shield was taken out, and that you would need to find the traditional health packs for, but Bungie eventually got rid of that also.

Now you see it everywhere and most games don’t even have a solid lore reason for it.  The Spartans have regenerating shields to protect them, but what does Marcus Fenix have that allows him to regenerate?  Gears of War, Call of Duty, and Rainbow Six are just a few examples of games that use a regenerating health system that allows the action to progress at a steady pace instead of having to stop the fighting and go back through an entire level scouting for a missed health kit.

The last huge improvement the Halo series introduced was with multiplayer.  I mentioned GoldenEye before and I liken my experience with the first Halo to those wonder years of fun playing the N64.  It was fun, fast, and smooth, and there wasn’t a lot of goofiness in the way.  With Halo 2, they made perhaps the greatest online multiplayer matchmaking system ever and no one seemed to care.

For the longest time I wondered why no one was doing things the way Halo 2 did them.  Being able to set up parties and get into matches together was just awesome.  Everything before that involved inviting your friends after you joined or talking to them on the phone or something so you would all try and get into the same game.

So looking back at all that, I now ask myself what I was thinking when I dismissed Halo Wars out of hand.  There is so much pedigree there that they almost have no choice but to get it right.  Ensemble Studios certainly knows where they’re doing at the helm of RTS gaming, and Halo simply lends itself to the genre.  Hell, if you go back, Halo was originally going to be a RTS game before Bungie changed things up.

The thing that has really got me sold on it however is that there is a co-op mode.  To me, whatever else Halo has done, whatever you want to say about the story or the multiplayer or the graphics, it all really comes back to the co-op for me.  Being able to play through the entire game in co-op mode just screams Halo to me.

All I really know for sure is that Halo has constantly pushed things forward and now that the franchise is branching to another genre, I expect it to do just as much for the real-time strategery genre that it has done for first-person shooters.

Title: Halo Wars Publisher: Microsoft Rating: Teen Content: Mild Blood, Mild Language, Violence Platforms: Xbox 360 Halo Wars is a strategy game based on the Halo universe. Halo Wars will immerse gamers in an early period of the Halo universe, allowing them to experience events leading up to the first Halo title for Xbox.

Unlike some other websites (we won’t name names, but let’s just say it’s all of them), the best time to proclaim the game of the year is not at the end of the year. How can you adequately compare all of 2008’s games when they kept releasing right up to the end of December? How can you publish a ‘Game of the Year’ article before the year is even over? Obviously, the best time to talk about the game of the year is in the last week of February. Obviously…

After much debate and a little bit of bare-knuckle fighting, we’ve decided to give you each editor’s choice for their personal games of the year, as well as our overall pick afterwards. Enjoy.

Rangebar’s Choice

Whoa, 2008 went by really fast. Taking a look back at a great year full of great games, it’s hard to pick just one game of the year, but I’ve managed to come up with one. Some of my favorite games of the year have been Gears of War 2, Left 4 Dead, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, Fable II, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Call of Duty: World at War and SOCOM: Confrontation. Oh, and before I go any further, sorry LittleBigPlanet fanboys, I just couldn’t really get into the game even after a few hours of playing it. Yep, so those were some of my favorite games of the year, but if I had to narrow it down to one game of the year, I would have to go with Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Why you ask? Well, it was the one actual game that just had me so sucked into the story, the amazing gameplay and beautiful graphics, that I ignored any other game that I might have been playing. With some of the other games I listed, I would play other games and go back to them, but with MGS4, it was that game and nothing else, until I beat it of course. I’m not even a huge fan of the series, (I’ve never even played the third game in the series, and didn’t complete the second) but one of my favorite things about MGS4 was the ability to actually explain the whole Metal Gear story within the game and also gave me a different way of playing in which you didn’t have to be sneaky and quite all the time, unlike past MGS’s. My Ripten Game of the Year goes to Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.

John’s Choice

Choosing a game to be the best of the year is a difficult challenge, and considering that most of the offerings out there generally tend to be mediocre at best, it made it even more difficult. How does one choose their own personal Gee oh tee Why? How much fun one had playing the game? Whether or not the technology was dazzling? Perhaps one should pick innovative games… hmmm. The mind is bottled. After giving it quite a bit of thought, and a bit more thought, I finally decided to give my personal little imaginary trophy to… Fallout 3! There were a bunch of great games that were contending for the crown in my brain, but Fallout 3 is almost everything I’ve ever wanted in a game. Awesome combat, great story, kick ass RPG elements, and giant mutant fire-breathing ants! The only thing that could top Fallout 3 in my mind would be an MMO based around the Fallout universe, or maybe the next Star Wars MMO, but they don’t exist so I can’t exactly choose them, now can I? I was bouncing around LittleBigPlanet for a bit, because as simple and as stupid as I thought it was, it really is a great game and probably the only PS3 exclusive that made me question my hatred for Sony. I also juggled around with Wrath of the Lich King because making WoW actually fun to play again was a feat in and of itself. Other contenders in the squishy grey arena were Warhammer 40k: Apocolypse (which is a table top game so I couldn’t really go with that I guess anyway, but you should see the awesome armies you can field now), Left 4 Dead, and Saint’s Row 2. Oh, honerable mention to Rock Band 2. I’ve never EVER spent as much money on DLC as I have with that game and it just keeps coming. Harmonix just keeps making things more and more awesome without having to give up the awesome I had before, unlike the other music game that comes out with a different version every month. I never thought I’d actually witness a company more whorey than EA, but I guess anything can happen. There you go, a little glimpse into the mind of John Landis, and you didn’t even have to get any snot on you. How much better can you get?

Sam’s Choice (tur hur!)

While the most obvious choice fro my game of 2008 would be Left 4 Dead (I did say it was one of the best games ever in my review), I do have a very special mention to give. If you want to know why Left 4 Dead is my game of the year, go read the review. The special mention goes to Metal Gear Solid 4,:Guns of the Patriots. As a big fan of the series, I felt this was a fantastic send off for one of the best characters ever, Solid Snake. Sure, there are a lot of flaws to the game, but it’s juts one of those games that is so epic (and I don’t use the term lightly) that they can be overlooked. I really wanted Snake’s story to have a proper ending, and I don’t think Kojima could have done a better job. Now my only hope is that he doesn’t add more to the story when the inevitable Metal Gear Solid 5 comes along; MGS4 is a good point to end the series and start something new, I think. Oh, and another mention goes to Team Fortress 2, even though it came out last year- I still play it almost every day. For 2009, what I’m most looking forward to is Resident Evil 5. After playing it at the Eurogamer Expo, and being a huge fan of Resi 4, it seems like it’ll be similar enough to be great, but different enough to not be boring. Of course, the DLC for Left 4 Dead and TF2 will keep me playing those games (hell, I’d keep playing them anyway), and Bioshock 2 could be one to watch as well. While I don’t think it’ll match 2008, or even 2007, 2009 should be a great year; too many great games coming out to make a proper decision on which I want the most.

Jonathan’s Choice

Is the measure of a video game’s greatness how fun it is to play? Up until the past year I think i would have said yes. But in 2009 a few games appeared that pushed the medium in that they were both fun to play, and they left a profound, lasting impact. So this is my completely subjective list of games, some fun, some emotionally impactful, and some both. 5. Gears of War 2: This is just a fun game that does something that scores very high with me: bring people together. This generation of consoles does this particularly well and no game does it better over 3 modes of play (Horde stands out) than Gears 2. 4. Fallout 3: They wooed me at E3 and made me stop playing Fable 2, the other great RPG of the fall. I don’t know how Bethesda does it, but they can make 30 hours of gameplay feel like 10. 3. Grand Theft Auto 4: I was once on a TV production set where one of the actors had set up a PS3 and was playing GTA 4 on it. Slowly, cast and crew members, including the director, started to pull up chairs to watch GTA’s patented urban rampages, first on breaks then probably when they should have been making the show. From its themes to its realistic portrayal of criminal and immigrant life, GTA 4 may be first game to get a mature rating that’s actually, in many ways, mature. 2. Gravitation: The only game that’s ever really made me think about my life. It’s abstract, minimalist and indie to the core, but i haven’t been impacted like this by a video game in years, maybe ever. Every gamer should give it a look. 1. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed: This, being a completely subjective list, gives me the ability to choose the game that i really liked the most for the #1 spot. If your even a marginal star wars fan then you probably think that the concept of Jedi’s are compelling and the Force Unleashed lets you play as a cooler Jedi than any we’ve ever seen in the movies. “Knock yourself out levitating that cup, Luke, I’m going to pull this Star Destroyer out of the sky.” Awesome.

Chad “The Asshole”’s Choice

Of the games I played in 2008, my favorites would have to be Gears of War 2, Metal Gear Solid 4, and World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King. All three games captured my interest on different levels and exhibited the attention to detail and fun factor I look for in a top notch game. Gears 2 offered up a gritty storyline, tons of fast paced action, and a smörgåsbord of multiplayer modes. Konami’s long-awaited MGS4 didn’t disappoint either as it entertained this gamer with a layered plot and stunning presentation. Together, the two blockbusters above add up to days of non-stop gaming, but if that isn’t enough to quench your thirst for polygons, power up the PC and level yourself to 80 in Blizzard’s World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King expansion. If you enjoy third person shooters, cinematic masterpieces, and countless hours of MMO gameplay, these three titles will carry you well into the new year. My overall choice for game of the year, however, is Gears of War 2. Mad props go out Marky Mark Rein, Cliff Blaznats, and the rest of the team at Epic Games.

Dan’s Choice

What a year, and what a shitload of good games to choose from. From boning chicks in PC masterpiece The Witcher to boning chicks in Peter Molyneux’s brainchild Fable 2, how can you choose just one game as the best of the year? Personally, some of the most fun I’ve had in 2008 has been in co-op play. Games like Rock Band 2, Saints Row 2, and Left 4 Dead kept me interested and having fun far longer than any singleplayer experience I’ve had. It’s quite a shame, then, that a fantastic game like Fable 2 managed to fuck it up so much — its co-op is essentially unplayable. Even so, those multiplayer experiences haven’t yet been able to tell as compelling of a story or really get you involved in the world as much as an immersive RPG like Fallout 3 or The Witcher. The main drawback of these games, however, is that you will ultimately “max out” your character, beat the game, and have relatively little reason to start over again unless you absolutely must see how different decisions in the game would play out. So, how do you choose? Which blockbuster game was the best of the year? Grand Theft Auto 4? Overrated. Gears of War 2? Disappointing. Metal Gear Solid 4? …what was that last one again? Sorry, I fell asleep. Overall, the best game I’ve played in 2008 was… Fallout 3. Even though it’s only singleplayer and ultimately has an ending, I haven’t sunk as much time into any other game and still found myself enjoying it. I thought VATS would get old, but even after 100 hours, I still enjoy seeing slo-mo exploding heads. I’m still stumbling across new things that I haven’t encountered before, I’m still finding skill books and bobbleheads to increase my stats, and I still have three downloadable content packages to look forward to (at least). Fallout 3 gets my vote for Game of the Year simply because I’ve gotten the most bang for my buck out of that single $60 disc, and everything it does, it does well… except for the handling of sex, which is decidedly timid and outdated. Fallout 2 was more mature when it came out 10 years ago — I expect more from you next time, Bethesda!

So as you can see, there isn’t one game that our editors found to be the overall best game of the year. There really was no agreement amongst the staff for Ripten’s choice, so we’re declaring the 2008 Ripten Game of the Year to be a game that none of us picked.

Ripten’s 2008 Game of the Year, overall, is officially:

We still don’t know what Tera Patrick has to do with anything, but who cares?

We don’t care what anyone says, not even ourselves. It doesn’t have the best graphics or the best story or the most innovative gameplay, but Saints Row 2 is what games are supposed to be all about: fun. Saints Row 2 offered more than any other game in 2008, and that makes it our Game of the Year. For reals.

Fanboys, they approach leisure activities with religious zeal and defend their console of choice with dogmatic ferocity.  Fanboys have had “gentlemanly discussions” with some of the writers here at Ripten, more or less, but no one fought it out with them like X-play’s Adam Sessler. I caught up with Adam to discuss Killzone 2, gaming journalism, and the fanboy plague that corrupts message boards and comment sections like The Flood.  Oops, Halo reference, here they come…

When X-play gave Killzone 2 a sterling five out of five, Xbox 360 fanboys and, inexplicably, PS3 fanboys complained.  The Xbox faithful said it could never be that good and the PS3 faithful somehow accused Sessler of everything from giving out the high score begrudgingly to attributing Killzone 2’s high score to Microsoft payoffs (wha?).  Sessler responded by picking out individual posters and verbally grounding them into paste in his Sessler Soapbox.  If you haven’t seen the video yet, please, clear the children from the room and check out his Samuel L. Jackson-scale rant.

Zungre:  Hey, what’s up Adam, thanks for taking the time to talk to us, man.

Sessler:  No problem at all.

Zungre:  I really enjoy your Sessler’s Soapboxes, especially the recent ones about Killzone 2 and I just wanted to ask you, in your time in game journalism, has fanboy hostility ever been this bad?  Is it really at an all time high?

Sessler:  Oh, I would actually say it’s at an all time high.  I mean, there was always some stuff like that back in the old days, but it seemed to be at least incorporated into a grounded discussion about the merit of the consoles or the games that were exclusive to those consoles.  Where as now it seems to be fully disassociated from that, and it’s kind of, “I bought this and I need to justify it to myself”.  I mean, obviously, all the comments themselves are incredibly obnoxious, but it’s more that how much space it takes up on our message boards and other people’s message boards, that, you know, people who would like to maybe use it to foster an interesting discussion and enlighten themselves really can’t get in there because these people just pop in constantly.

Zungre:  So, it’s almost ruining entire message boards.

Sessler:  Yeah, I mean, I’ve always joked that the Internet serves only to give voice to those I didn’t want to hear from [laughs].  I mean, it’s supposed to be an area where you can have interesting discussions of ideas on topics and you don’t have to use the mainstream media, but unfortunately it does allow for too many voices to get in there and it’s just, so juvenile [laughs].

Sessler opening a can of verbal whoop ass.

Zungre:  I wonder why is it that in most message boards and a lot of comments that you see on youtube, that everything seems so middle school?  Why does that voice or that vibe seem to be dominating instead of logical, normal discussion?

Sessler:  Obviously, there’s the role of anonymity, but I like how you said middle school because what we all don’t know is what age these people are.  I would like to think that they’re ten years old given the lack of intelligence that’s demonstrated.  I think it’s a mixture of young people who think that’s how you voice an argument or they’re not able to carefully construct one and other people who just, you know, I think there’s a lot of people out there that I think are just spoilers.  And I think there’s also some, and they’re definitely on our message boards, who are just borderline pathological.  There’s one guy on our boards who continually posts this conspiracy theory about who owns us, especially from back in the Paul Allen Tech TV days, and somehow that means we’re owned by Microsoft.

And it’s not so much that he states that, but that he states that continually and just reposts the exact same thing to the point where it’s a little disconcerting for me because this guy clearly doesn’t have much of life outside of that and seems so fixated on people and things he has no control over and has decided they’re his mortal enemy.

Zungre:  Yeah, in your video response to the Killzone 2 comments, you seemed to be most serious about those posts that, like you said, were trying to impugn your integrity as a journalist.

Sessler:  Why I use the “do you fuck your mother” line is because, obviously we, and I’m talking about myself and my colleagues on various sites, you yourself, we do pride ourselves in taking our job seriously and respecting the necessary objectivity in reporting and the lack of, obviously, taking money when we do these reviews, that to charge that from someone, and from the same position of anonymity I wanted to put it in the context of, that’s a very, very serious statement to make.  And I know they’re doing it whimsically, and they probably don’t understand that, whimsy or not, that’s an absolutely inappropriate thing to say, just as much as, you know, implying that you have familiar relations with your own mother.

Ripten, alone, burns thousands of surplus dollars from Microsoft payoffs every month. We call it the “Rip Ten Thousand” because we’ve got so much money, we can make jokes like that in a recession.

Zungre:  Right, right.  Hey, I wanted to ask you about one thing.  I saw your most recent Soapbox and you talked about how multiplayer sometimes takes away from assets for developing a good single player game, which i completely agree with.  I mean, I played Stranglehold multiplayer online and it was the saddest day of my life.

Sessler:  Yeah [laughs].

Zungre:  But, you know, I wanted to ask you about that because in the review of Killzone 2 you guys said that Killzone 2 could have really used some co-op.  And I wanted to know how you felt about that and give you the opportunity to justify that comment.

Sessler:  Yeah, just so you know, I was not the one who personally reviewed Killzone 2, it was Mr. Sark, Scott Robinson on our staff, and I don’t think he was wrong in doing that [laughs].  More or less, what he was trying to say is that, obviously the game got a 5 out of 5, [and] the game by its nature would be perfect for co-op.  And that some of the weaknesses that were in the single player game, which I personally do see, which is not the best pacing that kind of makes all the set pieces so memorable, could have been bolstered by allowing also for co-op, because the combat of the game is so much fun.  And I think that we all know that when you’re playing with someone else in a single player game, story kind of takes a back seat.  Sometimes in reviews you’re talking to the audience, sometimes you’re kind of talking to the developer as well, as in “be aware of this.”

I’m happy you brought that one up because what precipitated in some of the rant about the Killzone 2 review, and the postings on it, is that it was very evident that people went to our site, they saw the score and they looked at the pros and cons, yet didn’t read the body.  So, in the Cons it said “could use Co-op” or “No Co-op” as if somehow that was a really serious point that we were trying to make and no, if you read the body of the text it’s far more a nuanced statement that’s made with regard to co-op in the game.

You have to fight the spider-Nazi looking Hellghast alone, soldier.

Zungre:  Right, right.  And you know what, I’m so glad you talked about that because I remember one of the comments you really made fun of was the guy who said that Gears 2 got a 9.5 and Killzone 2 got a 9.4.  And it just made me remember, I think it was, “Innovation vs. Innumeration“, your soapbox where you talked about just this thing about numbered scores and about how you don’t like them.  I’d like you to talk about that a little bit, and where can we move as journalists to get away from numbered scores?  Because personally, I don’t like the 10 point scale, I don’t think it’s good at what it does.

Sessler:  No, and to be clear, I don’t think numbered scores period are good.  I would even say that on the show.  If I had my druthers, I wouldn’t have numbered scores because that would force you to pay attention to the either video or the written review we have available.  [laughs] I mean, people work hard to put those things together and I can’t stand the fact that no one pays attention until they hear that number.  Obviously, I prefer the five point scale as opposed to the ten point scale, because I think anything below a five just reads as a crappy game, so it’s kind of, you know, pointless.

Zungre:  Oh, totally agree.

Sessler:  If I had to do a numbered score and, once again could have my druthers, I would probably do a four point scale because i don’t like the 3 [laughs].

Zungre:  Oh really?

Sessler:  Yeah.  But the fact is, the reason why we still have the scale the way that we do, obviously we’ve had the five point scale for a while and to make a change like that is a very, very difficult thing to do, because you’ve trained your readership or your viewership on that scale.  I also think that for all websites, we can’t move away from the numbers because, unfortunately, we are still businesses, and we would hurt ourselves if we didn’t have that easy access evaluation of a game, because as I said earlier, so many people won’t read it.  We’re kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Almost anyone out there would just as soon not have the numbered scores, but until the population is willing to educate itself and actually look at these reviews as something that’s more an evaluation and discussion about the game rather than some sort of consumer product, good or bad evaluation, I don’t think it’s going to change.  More or less, we need smarter readers [laughs].

Zungre:  [Laughs]  You know what, I really do get upset about some of the comments that pop up on Ripten and some of the other gaming sites that I see.  You talked about this thing called the “Cult of Exceptionalism,” and Adam, I have to say, I absolutely love that term, and I had never heard it before you said it.

Sessler:  I made it up. [laughs]

Zungre: [Laughs] No but it seriously is fantastic because it gave me a term for something I had been seeing and it’s just the thing that happens on the Internet so much where either a game is the most amazing thing that ever happened and it fathered your children or it completely sucks and it’s completely devoid of any worth.  So why do you think this happens, why do you think people are caught up in this idea?

Sessler:  I think it has a lot to do with the media and I think if you wanted to see where you really see that practiced would be in national politics.  When you see bills or politicians.  I mean just look at the Stimulus Bill, that while there is actual cooperation on what’s happening between the Republicans and the Democrats right now, the statements that are being made are, “This bill is completely evil, it’s bad, it’s bad, it’s bad.” And what really happens on that political sphere really does infiltrate other areas of discourse.

And just the media itself.  It’s not able to convey news in a nuanced style because they’re afraid they’re not going to be able to hold your attention.  So it’s either “this is the worst thing that’s ever happened” or “this is the best thing that’s ever happened.” Or “this is going to kill you” or “this is going to save your life,” and when it comes down to evaluations of cultural products it’s only “this is the best thing ever” or “this is the worst” and there can’t be a middle ground that also justifies that this is still worth your attention and your interest.

Zungre: Right, and I see a lot of games that are really good games, maybe not the best games, that are swept up in that undertow of that Cult of Exceptionalism, like you said.  And they don’t even get noticed.

Sessler:  We’re saying “this is really worth your time, it’s just not the best.”  That’s all [laughs].

Oh, Legendary, I know you weren’t as bad as everyone said…

Zungre:  And we’re so obsessed with the best, I think, in America, so it’s just very sad.  But hey, really quick before we finish up here, I just wanted to ask you some questions, journalist to journalist.  You’ve been doing this for how many years?  About ten years now?

Sessler:  About ten and a half.  Yeah, it will be eleven in July.

Zungre:  Ok, now what’s something that you’re really excited for?  In the arc of the gaming industry that you’ve seen, what’s something that your really excited for in the future of gaming?  Where do you see us going?

Sessler:  That’s a good question.  Two of the games that really stand out to me from last year are Fable 2 and Fallout 3.  Because they’re deep, rich, articulated worlds.  There’s such a sense of, who was designing this, they know so much more about the world than even what’s present in the game.  And that, you really feel that you’re in somebody else’s imagination.  And I’m seeing more and more of that.  I don’t know, to me that’s an absolute thrill and I think that those two games are the beginning of a sense of really getting in somebody else’s imaginative playground, where you just literally lose yourself.

Even when I was reviewing Fable 2…  Usually when you do a review you have an eye towards “I gotta get this done because I need to get it up by the time the embargo lifts.”  But in [Fable 2] I kept on catching myself just dithering around just enjoying all the small details.  The same thing is happening in Fallout 3, which luckily, I chose not to review because I wanted to indulge myself as much as possible in that one [laughs].

Zungre: Very cool.  What’s something you’re glad we’ve left behind?

Sessler:  Well we haven’t completely left swimming levels behind, but that’s one thing [laughs].

One thing which we are leaving behind is the abject sadism that was in a lot of video games. I’m obviously a big defender for violence in video games, in the fact that it is an adult medium, but I also think that just justifying the fact that there should be violence in video games isn’t the right thing.  Still, there needs to be utilization.  I look to a game like Soldier of Fortune, which I found to be just abhorrent in every stretch of the imagination.  It almost encouraged you to do horrible things to other human beings.  There is much less of that.  There’s still very violent games, but it seems to work within the context and rationale of the world that has been presented inside of the game.

This is one of the only gaming images that instantly makes me feel anxious and confused.

Zungre: Right, ok.  Hey Adam thank you so much for the interview.

Sessler:  No problem at all, thank you very much, I really appreciate how you pay attention to the recent soapboxes that I worked on [laughs].  Good luck with the website.

If you’d like to see more of Adam check out X-Play and the rest of the always insightful Sessler’s Soapbox.

2008 was a big year. There were so many great games released that it’s incredibly hard to decide which one deserves to be the Game of the Year… so that’s why we’re going to make you do it. Have a gander at our nominees and let us know which game you think deserves top honors. Additionally, we want to spark some debate as we also want to know which of our nominees is least deserving of Game of the Year.

The best commenter (best arguments, most interesting or humorous comments – as decided by Ripten staff) will also be rewarded with a super awesome prize: a free game! Let your voice be heard!

Our nominees are:

Left 4 Dead

Metal Gear Solid 4

Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Grand Theft Auto IV

Fable II

LittleBigPlanet

Fallout 3

Gears of War 2

Not satisfied with our picks? Well, make your case for your Game of the Year and why we should have included your game instead of one of our nominees. Write-ins are acceptable (obviously, since all votes are technically write-ins).

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/30/ripten-readers-choice-game-of-the-year/feed/ 36 http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/14/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-1/ http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/14/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-1/#comments Mon, 15 Dec 2008 06:58:27 +0000 Dan Landis http://www.ripten.com/?p=8736

Well, this is it. We’ve counted down the best asses in videogames, and I’m guessing nobody recognizes our number one. I’m sure this choice will be much debated, but there is some fairly sound logic why this gets our top choice for the Nicest Asses in Videogames.

#1 – The Party Girls (Hitman series)

Yes, the chicks from the Hitman games, specifically all of the party levels. From the snow bunnies to the BDSM leather-clad freaks, the girls at the various parties in the Hitman games do a good job of pleasing most uniform fetishes out there. There’s no schoolgirl party yet, but I’m sure that’s coming. Just check out the in-game action at the Christmas party:

…and the Meat King’s party:

… and the Heaven and Hell party:

In addition to the fact that these polygonal posteriors are round and perky, the idea that you are surrounded by them makes it all the better. After all, a room full of nice asses is generally better than just one nice ass. Can I get an amen?

Sure, these are just random, nameless characters with relatively little impact in the game, but that doesn’t mean their asses don’t deserve a little credit. Everybody’s gotta start somewhere. Any of you ladies remember Brad Pitt’s first movie?

Let’s also not forget the hotness of Olga Kurylenko who played what’s-her-name in the Hitman movie. I’m not sure if that really counts as the same thing, but since we are just talking about “Hitman girls”, I guess it fits. And hey, it’s my list so I can do what I want. Plus, we can say she is a videogame girl because the only U.S. movies she’s been in so far were Hitman, Max Payne, and Quantum of Solace — all of which were videogames.

The only thing that really made this a tough choice was the fact that these characters are mostly all unnamed background characters. This posed a problem because, unlike characters that are actually “famous”, they have no fans and thus no fan art. Agent 47 himself has thousands of pics, but his supporting cast is just not important to anyone. At the very least I found this promotional piece:

But there it is. I’m sure people were expecting a more famous character — we don’t see no-names topping People’s Sexiest lists, do we — but I think these asses deserve it. Sure, there are lots of videogame characters that have great butts, but I’ve never spent as much time in any other game just looking at the chicks instead of playing the game.

That’s sad, I know, but for whatever reason, the girls in the Hitman games somehow manage to mesmerize me with their booties, and they somehow pop up as the first thought when someone mentions asses in videogames. These are like the super hot chicks you see in music videos that you have no idea who they are but you just fall in love with them anyway, and that’s how they managed to top our list of the Nicest Asses in Videogames.

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/14/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-1/feed/ 20 http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/13/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-special-mentions/ http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/13/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-special-mentions/#comments Sun, 14 Dec 2008 06:50:57 +0000 Dan Landis http://www.ripten.com/?p=8738

Before we get to our top pick, we thought it might be nice to share with you all of the asses that were considered for this list. Of course, some of these are pretty fine posteriors that you may think are more deserving of Top 10 status than the ones we actually chose, but let me tell you — it was a difficult process, much more difficult than I expected it to be.

‘Not Safe For Work’ content inbound.

Honorable Mentions – The Mass Effect chicks

Even though they were in armor most of the time, the girls from Mass Effect had some pretty nice asses. Fan favorite Tali was unfortunately not one of your choices when it came down to which chick you want to get it on with, something the Internet has mocked us about (slightly NSFW).

Speaking of getting it on, the sex scene is Mass Effect is actually a bit different depending on which girl you choose. Liara (the blue chick) has a longer, more revealing cutscene, and we’ve provided that for you here:

Yes, that was a nice ass, Liara, and we thank you. Even so, it just wasn’t great enough to make the top 10.

The Soul Calibur chicks

The girls of the Soul Calibur games are always making their way into these lists, usually because of their huge knockers. For this list, however, those knockers do nothing to help them in their ranking. Everyone has their individual preference, and you can argue in the comments if you want.

A lot of dudes think Ivy’s the hottest thing in the gaming world, but just because she has more of it and ain’t afraid to show it doesn’t mean it’s actually all that great. Taki also scores points just because her outfit is painted on, and the innocence of Sophitia’s white undies makes her another favorite. Seriously, how could you choose just one? Simple — you don’t. That’s a life lesson right there. When it comes to asses, however, the Soul Calibur chicks just weren’t tight enough to make the top 10.

The Final Fantasy chicks

Specifically, Yuna and Rikku from Final Fantasy X and X-2, and even better are Fran and Ashe from Final Fantasy XII. I’m actually a pretty big fan of Fran’s booty, but I couldn’t find a decent picture or video of her ass anywhere. It wouldn’t be much of post without all of the awesome pictures to go with it, so I decided to put the one nice pic in with the other Final Fantasy chicks as an honorable mention. Sorry, Fran!

Nova (StarCraft Ghost)

Let’s face it: as great as Nova’s ass looks in this picture, she technically doesn’t exist yet in the world of videogames because StarCraft Ghost has never been released. Being that it’s on-hold “indefinitely”, it would be unfair to put her in the top 10 and have her game never come out or have it release with a less beautiful ass than the one we see here. Sorry, Nova, maybe next year.

Other Considerations

As much as I would like to put a description of every ass considered along with an explanation of why they didn’t make it, I’m sure that in the grand scheme of things you really don’t care. What you want is pictures of hot videogame-related chicks’ asses. Understandable. Here are a bunch of butts that I’ve seen recently that were at one point in the running for the Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames (click to enlarge):

Dishonorable Mentions – Shahdee (Prince of Persia: Warrior Within)

You actually may be somewhat surprised to see such a nice ass as a dishonorable mention, but there’s good reason for it. When Shahdee initially walks out, you are first greeted to this lovely shot of her good side. Unfortunately, this is followed up shortly thereafter by the reveal that she is actually Leon Kennedy circa Resident Evil 2. This is the kind of girl that begs you to cut off her head. What? Oh, alright, you can just put a bag over it.

Video proof:

While she would never make a ‘Hottest Chicks’ list, Shahdee definitely has what it takes to make a list about round rear ends, even though she’s on the bad side of it.

The Dead or Alive chicks

Let’s face it: everyone seems to think that the pretend innocent sluts of the Dead or Alive series of games are hot. I, too, once fell victim to their charms, but careful study has lead me to the truth — they don’t really have nice asses.

Team Ninja seem to be a bunch of boob men, or maybe they think that most other men are boob men. Either way, the DOA chicks all have huge floppy racks and a decent set of hips, but take a nice, hard look at those asses and what you’ll see is a boxy, flat, boring hunk of booty. Need visual proof?

Sorry I had to do that to you. It’s a difficult truth, I know.

The Rumble Roses chicks (Rumble Roses XX)

Okay, the Rumble Roses chicks have big fat asses. There are lots of people that like big fat asses, but I’m not one of them. Sorry, Rumble Roses girls, but your asses are too fat for this list. I’ll put up one more pic for the people that are into it, just to be a good sport.

Wow, after all of that, who’s left? What ass could possibly be at the number one spot? I know you’re curious, so check back tomorrow for the best booty of them all as we finish off our countdown of the Nicest Asses in Videogames.

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/13/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-special-mentions/feed/ 14 http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/12/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-2/ http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/12/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-2/#comments Sat, 13 Dec 2008 06:57:34 +0000 Dan Landis http://www.ripten.com/?p=8889

We continue our countdown today with this hot little number. Known for showing off as much ass as she kicks, our number 2 pick is the kind of booty that makes the world a better place. Some ‘Not Safe For Work’ content may be ahead, so brace yourself.

Click images for a larger view.

#2 – Cammy White (Street Fighter series)

Did anyone doubt we would see Cammy on this list? As one of the few female characters from the Street Fighter series, Cammy is arguably the hottest… or at least has the nicest ass. I’m not sure what makes her think that outfit is good for fighting in, but I’m not entirely sure what the rules are in Street Fighter either. Realistically, it’s not much worse than a lot of outfits in women’s sports. Either way, we approve.

Yes, that was a lot of Cammy ass pictures. They are surprisingly easy to find, which speaks volumes to the impact her butt has had on the gaming world. In all of my “research” so far, Cammy’s booty seems to be the most celebrated in terms of the sheer number of ass pictures out there. People just really, really love that ass and for good reason, though I did discover that Cammy’s ass actually belongs to M. Bison (NSFW). The hardest thing to find, actually, was pictures of Cammy from the actual games.

I did manage to find this video here of Cammy kicking some in-game ass:

And here’s a slideshow with a ton more Cammy pictures since it’s easier than uploading them all:

One of the greatest contributions Cammy has made to the world is her imitation in the form of cosplay. Dressing as Cammy essentially means wearing a one-piece and nothing else (maybe a hat), which can be a great thing or a rather horrible thing when you are surrounded by Cammys at a convention.

Here also is a bunch of Cammy cosplayers from around the world — some great, some… not so much.

Cammy was also played by Kylie Minogue in the laughably bad Street Fighter movie. Don’t know who Kylie Minogue is? You should. Here, become more informed through the power of this link.

I think we’ve made a pretty good case for why Cammy’s ass deserves to be so high on this list, but if not… well, make your own list then, you ungrateful jerk! Still curious who that number one spot will belong to? Well, you’ll just have to wait and find out as our countdown of the Nicest Asses in Videogames continues tomorrow.

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/12/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-2/feed/ 7 http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/11/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-3/ http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/11/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-3/#comments Fri, 12 Dec 2008 06:48:01 +0000 Dan Landis http://www.ripten.com/?p=8865

We continue our countdown today with a succulent ass from a somewhat under-appreciated game. Most people may recognize this rear quite quickly if they happen to consider themselves fans of both videogames and hot chicks. Our number 3 pick appeared in Playboy, after all. Once again, please be aware that there may be some content in this article that would be considered ‘Not Safe For Work’.

Click images for a larger view.

#3 – Rayne (BloodRayne)

Rayne was the main character in BloodRayne and BloodRayne 2. As a Dhampir, she goes around killing and sucking on lots of Nazis, vampires, and Nazi vampires, and she does it all while wearing a sexy little outfit. Whoever thought it was a good idea to have a v-taper in the butt of those pants is a genius.

Oh yeah, and Rayne is so legitimately hot that she actually posed for Playboy magazine as part of a special feature about hot chicks in videogames. It’s totally NSFW and you’ve likely seen it before, but either way, here it is.

Not only is Rayne a sexy goth chick, but she gets added points for the simple fact that she is a certified ass-kicker. Never before has someone looked so fine while chopping some fools into little bits. Add to that the erotic blood sucking and Rayne is definitely intriguing me… in my pants.

Rayne also has something that a lot of other videogame chicks don’t have: some legitimately good cosplayers.

Back at E3 2006, the BloodRayne movie was being promoted, and I found a video of the casting process for a Rayne booth babe. While it essentially is just a bunch of girls in bikinis with their hair dyed red and generally poor acting skills, it may be worth a look.

Even though a majority of these girls weren’t that great, any one of them would likely have been a better choice for the actual shitfest that was the BloodRayne movie. I mean seriously, after looking at all these pics, does this look like Rayne to you?

At the very least, the sequel had a hotter chick as Rayne, though it still managed to be just as horrible of a movie.

Even though BloodRayne’s good name (and ass) were tarnished by a couple of really shitty movies, Rayne endures and manages to claw her way to number 3 on our countdown. There’s still hope that a new BloodRayne movie will get closer to capturing the hotness since there doesn’t seem to be a new game in the works, but either way, Rayne’s ass legacy remains strong in our hearts.

Itching to find out the top 2 picks? Check back tomorrow as we continue our countdown of the Nicest Asses in Videogames.

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/11/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-3/feed/ 4 http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/09/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-5/ http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/09/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-5/#comments Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:57:36 +0000 Dan Landis http://www.ripten.com/?p=8771

We continue our countdown today with a slightly lesser-known ass in the world of videogames. After today, however, I hope more people will appreciate the genius of a game containing a booty like this. Like all entries on this list, there may be some content that some would consider ‘Not Safe for Work’.

Click images for a larger view.

#5 – Vanessa Z. Schneider (P.N.03)

Vanessa was the main character in P.N.03, an ill-fated GameCube game that sold a mere 20,000 copies or so. That’s not really all that sad because the game was kinda just blah. The one saving grace was that Vanessa had a sweet ass and at no point in the game did she ever stop shaking it.

Vanessa attacks her opponents by dancing hypnotically in skin-tight outfits and using the concentrated hotness to fire beams of eroticism that make her foes have brain aneurysms. That, or she just has Parkinson’s and shoots regular lasers. Want to see what these attacks looks like? Here:

Yes, that is an attack. I don’t completely understand what’s going on in this game, but I honestly don’t care. The point is that someone thought it was a good idea to put a hot chick in a game and didn’t pretend like she wasn’t there for eye candy — they embraced that fact and even emphasized it. These are smart people!

To truly understand this ass, however, you must see it in motion. Okay.

Here we also have the ending to the game in which (SPOILER) Vanessa finds out she is a clone of Rob Schneider’s mom. This prompts her to kill herself, then she dances.

While some may argue that Samus’ ass was similar, or even slightly better, the difference here is that Samus hides hers under a suit of armor while Vanessa’s looks awesome even in her armor. She also has no problem shaking it for us, and that’s definitely something I can get behind (tee hee!).

Be sure to check back with us tomorrow to see who makes it to number 4 as we continue our countdown of the Nicest Asses in Videogames.

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/09/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-5/feed/ 10 http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/08/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-6/ http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/08/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-6/#comments Tue, 09 Dec 2008 06:50:55 +0000 Dan Landis http://www.ripten.com/?p=8803

We continue our countdown today with another fairly famous ass in the world of videogames. Any ideas? Well, it wouldn’t surprise me if you didn’t instantly recognize it as the girl in question usually covers it up. Not here, though. Read on to see our number 6 pick, but remember: some content may be considered ‘Not Safe For Work’.

Click images for a larger view.

#6 – Samus Aran (Metroid)

Metroid surprised the gaming world way back in the heyday of the NES by revealing that beneath all the armor, Samus is all woman. Break through that hard exterior and you’ll find a beautiful person inside — kind of like a metaphor for… something. Nintendo is teaching us that it’s what’s on the inside that counts, especially if what’s on the inside is a hot babe.

Check out that ass!

Surprisingly, Nintendo has actually sexed up Samus in recent years, going so far as to feature her in her painted-on Zero Suit in games like Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Of course, some people out there have different ideas for what the ‘Zero Suit’ really means, and it’s relatively easy to find pictures of a naked Samus. I honestly don’t feel the need to even link to them because the Zero Suit is practically already a naked Samus, she’s just blue.

I’m going to just stop there a give you this nice collection of pictures:

Curious what some Samus cosplay would look like? We’ve seen Samus in her armor before, but I found a pretty nice Zero Suit pic as well:

Funny thing is, Samus can be found in SSBB with her male ass counterpart, Solid Snake. Anyone who’s seen Metal Gear Solid 4 in action knows that Snake has some tight glutes, and pretty much any of these pictures could be him if you paste his face on there and get rid of the boobs. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t bring myself to type “Solid Snake’s ass” into google, but I found a humorous little sexcapade with Snake and the girls from Smash Bros.

I think we’ve proven beyond any doubt that Samus, despite her unwillingness to show it off in the past, has a sweet ass. Okay, she’s being practical and actually wearing a full protective suit to fight aliens, but that’s not gonna land her a boyfriend. Strangely, though, I’ve seen more pics than I care to have seen of an incredibly pregnant Samus, so I don’t know what that’s about. Maybe Samus is more of a freak than I thought…

Anyway, don’t forget to check back tomorrow to find out the number 5 pick on our Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames countdown.

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/08/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-6/feed/ 11 http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/07/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-7/ http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/07/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-7/#comments Mon, 08 Dec 2008 06:55:22 +0000 Dan Landis http://www.ripten.com/?p=8737

I’m guessing that most of you have no clue where this booty came from. As you may be able to tell, those are pixels in the picture — that’s right, this ass is old school! Check out who made her way to number 7 on our Top 10 Nicest Asses countdown. As always, please be aware that some of the content may be ‘Not Safe For Work’.

Click images to enlarge.

#7 – The Dark Queen (Battletoads)

Who? Since a lot of you probably don’t recognize her or have ever played the games, let me enlighten you. The Dark Queen was your nemesis in Battletoads, one of the best games developed by Rare. The original Battletoads was on the NES, with a few sequels on the NES and SNES, and the Dark Queen was generally the final boss in all of the games with the exception of Super Battletoads.

What’s so special about the Dark Queens booty? Well, there’s definitely a nostalgia factor working in her favor here, but she’s also incredibly sexy considering she was only 8-bit, 16-bit at most. The Dark Queen was actually the first non-real vision of the female form that gave me a boner. Yes, I just admitted that an 8-bit clump of pixels sexually aroused me — screw you for judging me!

Unfortunately for all of you who never played the game, it is incredibly hard to find any pictures of her on the interwebs to prove her hotness. I did find this artwork, though:

In addition to that, there are also some people (or at least one person) that have mistakingly labeled these very NSFW pictures of Veronica Zemanova as some Dark Queen cosplay. While I can certainly see it, I don’t really know if it would be accurate to say it’s cosplay simply because she looks just like the Dark Queen. Not that cosplay is something she wouldn’t do — there is actually an hour-long photoshoot video of Veronica dressed as Wonder Woman (which is also quite unsafe for work, but you can watch about 18 minutes of it before she starts taking any clothes off).

I also found this gameplay vid from Battletoads & Double Dragon, which consists of the final boss fight with the Dark Queen. For some strange reason, nobody has uploaded the cutscenes anywhere that I’ve found, which are probably the best part. What a shame…

Satisfied? While a good number of people (i.e. kids) will still not understand or agree with the Dark Queen being on this list, anyone that grew up with the NES playing games like Battletoads should surely appreciate the throwback to one of the original hotties of the digital screen. She’s got crazy curves, a ridiculously huge yet still somehow sexy hairdo, and an outfit that screams “naughty”. Despite her lack of polygons, the Dark Queen deserves her spot on this list. I only wish I could delight you with more proof.

Don’t forget to check back tomorrow to find out the number 6 pick on our Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames countdown. Things are just starting to get interesting…

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/07/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-7/feed/ 7 http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/06/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-8/ http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/06/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-8/#comments Sun, 07 Dec 2008 06:59:00 +0000 Dan Landis http://www.ripten.com/?p=8778

Recognize that rear? You should. One of the most famous behinds in all of gaming makes its way to the number 8 spot of our Top 10 Nicest Asses countdown . Of course you aren’t satisfied with that little picture and need more visual proof, and we humbly oblige. Again, please note that there may be some NSFW content included.

Click images to enlarge.

#8 – Lara Croft (Tomb Raider series)

Seriously, is this a surprise to anyone? Maybe the fact that the most famous female in all of videogames is way down at number 8 is a surprise, but I think everyone kinda expected to see her on this list.

So what’s so great about Lara’s lower lumps? Well, for one thing she’s gone through a slight change with every iteration of the Tomb Raider games. At some point, there has likely been a Lara Croft model that you would totally bone. Even if her ass hasn’t met your standards yet, there’s hope that it will get bigger/smaller/rounder/flatter in the future.

Even if the “official” Lara Croft doesn’t do it for you, there are downloadable skins for the PC version like the infamous Nude Patch. Even further than that, however, you have fan art and the very, very, very NSFW content of sites like LaraCroftNude. It’s bound to happen with any pop culture icon, but Lara Croft has an entire pay site dedicated to Tomb Raider porn. That’s big time.

Additionally, Lara Croft has been portrayed by a slew of real life hot chicks. This alone makes “Lara Croft” a far-fetched yet possible sexual encounter — there are dudes out there that have actually boned Lara Croft. Think about that.

Looking at this picture, you may be drawn (as I was) to the Lara on the far right. This is model Karima Adebibe, and she has by far been the best Lara Croft to date. Need more pics?

Alison Carroll has recently taken on the role of Lara Croft. While she may actually have the gymnastics skill to pull off Lara’s fancy acrobatics, I still don’t think she beats Karima where it really counts: hotness. Alison Carroll is still pretty hot, though, and you can check out her gallery here.

And just for added eye candy, here’s a video of Lara hopping around in a white dress:

…and here’s a video of her in a bunch of different bathing suits:

I think we’ve proven why Lara deserves on this list (as if there was much doubt). Don’t forget to check back in tomorrow to see our number 7 pick for the Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames.

Oh, and here’s one more pic for good measure:

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/06/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-8/feed/ 11 http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/05/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-9/ http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/05/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-9/#comments Sat, 06 Dec 2008 06:44:45 +0000 Dan Landis http://www.ripten.com/?p=8739

We continue our countdown of the Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames today with our number 9 pick. Recognize that rear? Like all the entries in this list, please be aware that there may be some NSFW content inside.

Click images to enlarge.

#9 – Alex Vance (Half-Life 2)

Alyx Vance is your friend and guide through the story of Half-Life 2. Even though she’s a cool, down-to-earth, approachable kind of girl next door, none of that really helps her ass look any better so it doesn’t count (for this list, anyway). What does count is the sporty, spunky attitude that has her running and climbing on all sorts of things and giving those buns a nice workout.

Because of the storytelling focus and first-person shooteriness of Half-Life 2, you basically are Gordan Freeman and Alyx is talking to you. In some kind of eerie way, when she flirts with Gordan she is actually flirting with you. This is the videogame equivalent of POV porn, with the sole exception being that there’s no sex involved. I guess in that sense, Half-Life 2 is really nothing like POV porn. Hmm…

But wait a second — Half-Life 2 has an incredibly versatile modding tool available called ‘Garry’s Mod’. Not only can you use the tool to, you know, make cool shit, but you can also use it to place people in suggestive positions, make them hump each other, and even change the character models to naked versions. Thanks, Garry!

Alyx also fills the multi-ethnic desires of a lot of dudes. She is so exotic, in fact, that she has no choice but to make out with herself, and she has no problem getting dirty. Completely understandable. Using Garry’s Mod and some downloadable skins, you can actually do some very naughty things with Alyx (and that link is so NSFW it’s ridiculous).

Now I found a nice little video of Alyx’s booty shaking, which was actually a lot more difficult than you might think. There are tons of videos to sort through, most of them being junk, but occasionally you may find what you are looking for. This video is terrible in so many ways — I don’t know why the guy decided to put such a retarded expression on Alyx’s face (or why he showed anyone else in the video, for that matter), but you can get some nice views of her backside and that’s the whole point.

Might want to skip the first 45 seconds or so unless you’re a Sir Mix-a-lot fan.

I think our point has been made again, and I don’t think anyone can deny that Alyx deserves a spot on this list.  While she may not be all sci-fi swimsuit like Cortana, she has the slight advantage of being real… at least in the context of the games.

Don’t forget to check back tomorrow for the next hottest heinie on Ripten’s Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames.

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/05/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-9/feed/ 10 http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/04/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-10/ http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/04/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-10/#comments Fri, 05 Dec 2008 06:59:27 +0000 Dan Landis http://www.ripten.com/?p=8715

Far too often we’ve seen top ten lists about boobies, yet nobody seems to have taken the time to appreciate what’s really important about women — their hearts. Of course by hearts, I’m talking about the shape of their sweet, sweet asses. What, you thought I was actually going to be a gentleman and care about anything other than looks? Get real (that’s a joke, kids — respect your mother).

Anyhow, the point is that there are plenty of men (and women) in this world who would consider themselves fans of the bottom half. Men are actually very evenly divided between boob lovers and ass lovers, and we need to try to counterbalance all these titty lists with a list about butts.

We will be counting down the best heinies over the next several days, some of which may surprise you, but all of them are sure to please. So without further ado, I give you Ripten’s Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames! No, wait — here’s some more ado: many of these images are NSFW, so make sure you know who’s around before you start fapping.

Click images to enlarge.

#10 – Cortana (Halo 2 and 3)

Okay, let’s get a few things out of the way first. Some of you will argue that Cortana shouldn’t really count because she’s not real, she’s just a hologram. While that may be true, none of the videogame babes on this list are “real” so it’s almost hypocritical to exclude her for that reason. Within the context of the game, though, Cortana is actually modeled after her creator, Dr. Halsey, so maybe we should put her name up there instead of Cortana’s.

You also may have noticed that only Halo 2 and 3 are listed next to her name. Before any fanboys get all uppity, we are well aware that Cortana was in the original Halo. Maybe you should go back and check her out and then you’ll realize why we didn’t include it. Hint: she’s kinda ugly.

So what’s so great about Cortana’s booty? Well, for one thing she’s pretty much attached to the Master Chief so he can just pop her out any time he wants to have a gander at that rear or, you know, talk to her. Additionally, she’s a hologram and semi-transparent, so you can stare at her ass even when you’re in front of her. How great is that!  She also appears to be filled with some kind of fizzy, delicious raspberry soda, so that’s a plus.

The major downfall here is, obviously, that you can’t ever touch her (not that you could really touch any of these girls, but you know what I mean). This isn’t like a sexual harassment or work appropriate kind of thing, it’s because she’s a freaking hologram. No matter how hot she may get or how many digital squats she does to perk up that posterior, it ultimately just makes her that much more of a tease. For this reason alone, we can’t justify having her any higher on the list than number 10.

And now, let’s look at the evidence (click to enlarge):

I believe we’ve made our point.

Tune in tomorrow for our 9th best booty as we count down the Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames.

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/12/04/top-10-nicest-asses-in-videogames-10/feed/ 20 http://www.ripten.com/2008/11/10/geeked-out-tetris-bracelet-for-the-economy-unaffected/ http://www.ripten.com/2008/11/10/geeked-out-tetris-bracelet-for-the-economy-unaffected/#comments Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:32:23 +0000 Beau Rosser http://www.ripten.com/?p=8448

The item is simple. It’s a bracelet. I know you’re asking: “Beau, why do you do Geeked-outs about clothing, personal accessories and such?”

Simple: Dolling yourself up with video game paraphernalia is the coolest. It’s the only way to make you feel totally nerdy and sexy at the same time.

Now, back to the bracelet. The item in question is a sleek, hand made resin bracelet covered in a sick Tetris-block design and is roughly 6.2 cm wide measured from the inside of the piece.

There’s not much else to say about this item besides its steep price tag of $70. But hell, right now, it’s one of a kind. So get on it. I’ll help you: it’s right here.

Thank me later.

Source: Sisicata’s Etsy Store (via CrunchGear)

Have something you think we should show on Geeked-Out? Email it to us.

]]> http://www.ripten.com/2008/11/10/geeked-out-tetris-bracelet-for-the-economy-unaffected/feed/ 3