RipTen Videogame Blog » 9/11

Marky Mark’s Terrorist Vibrations: Exclusive First Look

Ripten Staff — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 23:00:29 +0000

In a recent interview, Mark Wahlberg made some comments about how he would have stopped 9/11 from happening. While many were up in arms about his words, it turns out that the whole thing was just a PR stunt to garner attention for his upcoming video game Marky Mark’s Terrorist Vibrations. RipTen got a chance to sit down with M-Dub himself as he walked us through an exclusive first look at the game.

Mark tells us the basic premise:

“Once upon a time, the most attractive man in the universe was taking a flight around the world to teach people how to work out and shit. His name was Marky Mark. He’s, like, really dope. Soon after the plane takes off, a few guys jump out of their seats screaming in some space language, and in the process, they cause Mark to spill his protein smoothie. Mildly annoyed, he just turns up the volume on his mp3 player and begins to prepare himself another smoothie. But wait… what happened to his milk? He looks over to see one of the screaming men with a milk mustache! Oh my god, right?! This fills the young stud with so much funky bunchedness that he can’t contain it any longer. He has no other option but to dance.”

As the game begins, we find a shirtless Marky Mark at the back of the plane. In classic 2D side-scrolling action, we push right on the D-pad to walk forward as terrorists move in to confront us. We have several options of attack here. Hitting the A button causes our character to open a dialogue with the enemies. He talks about his movies and is generally pleasant. This causes the terrorists to be stunned with confusion, and we are able to walk right past them. Another move involves timed button presses to wow the enemy with Marky Mark’s epic jump-roping skills, again stunning them and allowing us to move past them. “I only like to be violent in real life and movies,” Mark tells us. “My kids will be playing this game, bitch.”

We notice the ‘Funky Bar‘ and ask what that’s all about. “Aw yeah! You hold in this trigger button to go into dance mode, then you can hit the buttons to do different moves that fill up the Funky Bar. Once that’s maxed out, you can unleash the Good Vibrations, which summons the mystic powers of backup vocals. It literally blows their minds.” We try it and have the video below to show what that’s like.

We continue down the length of the plane until we reach the front. Here we’re faced with the door to the cabin and a boss fight with the captain.

“Check it. So, like, the door’s locked and shit, right? But you don’t got no key, so how you supposed to get in there? I’ll give you a hint: Calvin Klein underwear is really durable. But once you get in, you and the captain have a rap battle. Winner gets to decide where to crash the plane. I’d crash it at the airport so everyone would be safe, duh. Or maybe New Zealand. I always wanted to go there. Either way, 9/11 doesn’t happen if you win. It’s like, people love you so much that they remove the 11th from September’s calendar.”

We had a hard time understanding why we’d fight the captain of the plane once all the terrorists were taken care of.

“It’s like this: the captain is in charge but all these milk-stealers were somehow still allowed on the plane. The captain’s supposed to screen that shit. So he either didn’t do his job or he’s one of them. So obviously I have to rap with that guy.”

Seems pretty simple, and planes aren’t that big, so isn’t this a little limited in content?

“Yo, we got tons of side missions. One of them is like a Rubik’s cube that shows you how to get huge pecs. Part of my goal is to teach people to not be pussies, to not just sit around while starving kids in Africa are wishing they could do more sit-ups, and to eat more chicken. It’s educational for kids.”

Marky Mark’s Terrorist Vibrations is being developed for XBLA, PSN, PC, and Sega Master System. What’s up with the Master System?

“Yo, you ever play Sonic? Nuff said, muthafucka.”

We then informed Mr. Mark that Sonic was never on the Master System.

“Whatever, bitch. Don’t make me Golden Axe you!”

Fair enough.

We’ll keep you updated as the game nears release.

Words by Dan. Video and images by Chad. Concept enhanced when their powers combine.

You can find Dan (@ManMandis) and Chad (@TheMadGamer) hanging out on Twitter daily, humiliating the innocent and making the world a funnier place.

Check out some of our other “Exclusive First Looks”

Vagina Hero: Equal parts music-rhythm game, simulation, and real-time strategy. Basically what I’m saying is that it’s complicated.
Wii New Year’s Eve: The most realistic simulation of a New Year’s Eve celebration without actually having to step in vomit on the streets.
Jersey Shore Kinect: HairGel Games gives us an exclusive first look at Jersey Shore: Kinect.

Help! I’ve Swallowed My World of Warcraft Authenticator and I Can’t Log In

Chad Lakkis — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 02:43:26 +0000

There have been moments in my World of Warcraft playing career that I found myself searching for ways to break my addiction to the game. And while several of my conjured solutions revolved around sabotaging my authenticator, I never once thought to eat it. That’s exactly what one WoW player did — although, he claims it was an accident that took place after spinning around in his computer chair with the device not-so-firmly planted in his mouth.

“I was sitting in my chair and biting into my authenticator while thinking about several RP related story arcs that I have planned. I swivvel [sic] around in my chair and presume to fall off it and shoot the authenticator into my mouth and down my throat.”

“I have drank some of that stuff that makes you vomit, but I’m apparently resistant to a whole bottle of it. I am curious on what I should do.”

What should you do? What should you do??!!! Well, for starters unless you plan on following the advice given to you via the World of Warcraft forum trolls, the first thing you should do is dial 911. Unfortunately, modern day hospitals don’t currently employ any level 80 healing classes but I hear that real life doctors have been known to work wonders from time to time.

Oh, and those of you thinking that this RP-loving chair-spinning kid was just looking for some cheap internet attention can take comfort in his forum promise to us all — “No, I’m not trolling. I am serious.”

Source: WoW Forums via Reddit

How Diablo II Helped One Person Get Through 9/11

Keane Ng — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 20:13:38 +0000

At and around the time of 9/11, I was a Counter-Strike addict. It sometimes struck me as odd while I’d played the game, but it never felt wrong. Should it have? It was a game, it was a whole mess of fun, and it didn’t matter much to me how topical the game inadvertently was. I was a teenager. I wasn’t smart enough to see that yet.

During 9/11, Naomi Alderman wasn’t playing terrorists vs. counter-terrorists on de_dust. She was playing Paladins and Sorcerers vs. Mephisto and Duriel in the Durance of Hate. She was playing Diablo II, for 30 hours a week. It was her way of dealing with the tragedy surrounding her in the streets of Manhattan. And, looking back, she sees absolutely nothing wrong with that.

As gamers I’m sure we all know the therapeutic power of playing games. A good Gears of War session can leave us satisfied, fulfilled, maybe a little less grouchy than we were before we started. Games as stress relief, sure. But games as a method of grieving, or of dealing with absolutely earth-shattering tragedy? That’s another level. Alderman writes:

I remember surfacing from four-hour Diablo II sessions feeling as if I’d been on holiday, so grateful that I’d been able to blot out the images of genuine horror filling my city. The game was so mind-filling it left no room for the anxious brooding that I was experiencing the rest of the time. This was a tremendous blessing.

As life began to brighten up, Alderman says, her desire to play gradually waned off – proof that the game served her as therapy more than anything else.

I sympathize with Alderman – people read (and write) books, watch (and make) movies in response to things like 9/11. Playing a game is really no different, and it’s only a result of our culture’s disdain for the medium that we should feel compelled to think otherwise. But that’s my opinion. Is playing games an appropriate response to tragic events, both on a personal and a national level? What do you guys think?

Source: The Guardian via RPS

The Watercooler – 26 October 2008

Dan Landis — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 11:04:16 +0000

Do you know what time it is? It’s time for The Watercooler again. This happens every day at the same time, so you shouldn’t really be surprised. This is the best thing you will see on the Internet today, mainly because it is the best thing I saw on the Internet yesterday. Eventually, I will run out of different ways to say the same thing every day, but clearly that day is not today. Wait a minute… that’s exactly what I said yesterday!

Today’s Watercooler is surprisingly political again, this time dealing with John McCain and his brother. This may seem like it’s showing my political affiliation since yesterday’s Watercooler was about Sarah Palin, but I’m one of those people who refuse to take part in a broken system irresponsible dicks that don’t vote.

This video is something that I had overheard people talking about today, but I thought it was a joke. I looked it up and, unfortunately for some rich old whiteys, it is not a joke. John McCain’s brother was recorded on a 911 tape complaining about traffic. That’s right, he called 911 to complain about traffic. The operator seemed surprised and asked if he was really calling 911 to complain about traffic, to which Joe responded “Fuck you”. Classy.

Check it.

Seriously, does McCain even have a chance any more? What an embarrassment… I think I may vote for him just to cheer him up. And I’ll send him a card with 20 bucks in it like my mom does for my birthday. Everyone likes money, right?

Think you have something that could be Watercooler material? Send it to dlandis@ripten.com. If your submission gets featured, you will win a prize package full of pride and accomplishment.

Jackass Remakes 9/11 with LittleBigPlanet, Flies Sackboy into World Trade Center

Chad Lakkis — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 07:05:26 +0000

With all the positive press out there showcasing the great things that can be made using the LittleBigPlanet level editor, it was only a matter of time before someone made something not so great.

If you thought the use of Space Invaders to mock the events of September 11th was tasteless, then you will likely cringe when you see Sackboy pilot a plane into the twin towers in this user created LBP level.

The video is available after the jump, though we completely understand if you decide to pass on this one.

Level created by Bushkiller85 (PSN ID) and recorded by onQ (PSN ID).

Digital Artist Pulls Space Invaders 9/11 Art After “Immature” Response to His Work

Chad Lakkis — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 03:23:45 +0000

Edric Stanley, digital artist and all around space cadet, began to pout over the public outcry that ensued when Kotaku brought his “Space Invaders blows up the World Trade Center” art to the attention of the internet masses.

Upset with what the artist deemed an “immature” response to his work, Stanley has requested that his work be removed from the Leipzig Games Convention show floor. The image above is a photo of the letter he wrote which now stands in the spot his art once was.

In this he claims that he was not pressured to remove his work, and states that:

“Due to these profound misunderstandings, I simply feel that from an artistic point of view, the work has lost the ability to have any valuable impact, poetic or otherwise.”

Wow, someone is definitely not taking his meds.

Source: Kotaku