Oh thank the heavens, Jonas comes out in November, so I won’t have to decide between that or Brutal Legend. But I will have to change my Modern Warfare 2 preorder.

Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to participate in a conference call with a few dudes from Fall Line Studio, developers of the just-released Ultimate Band for the Wii and DS. Tim Huntsman (senior producer), Mark McArthur (development director), and Mike Thompson (art director) fielded questions posed by us media types in a James Lipton-style interview presented by Access Communications.

The good questions, obviously, were submitted by me, but I want to apologize for the woman at the end who was rude and unprofessionally douche-like. Yes, it is possible to be professionally douche-like, so shut up.

There is also an occasional beepy-boop noise that I’m assuming is people joining the call, but that was totally not my computer making the noise so whatev. And after re-reading all of the stuff that I just wrote, I realize that deep down inside I am apparently a valley-girl.

If you’ve ever thought that Rock Band and Guitar Hero would be even more awesome if you didn’t actually have instruments, Disney Interactive has the game for you. Instead of fake drumming and guitaring, you play air drum and air guitar using the Wiimote and nunchuck. I’m not sure how it works on the DS, though. Trailer follows, but it unfortunately does not show any people actually playing (boo!).

Honestly, Ultimate Band does not look that much different than Guitar Hero, and the use of the Wiimote may be good for those that haven’t grasped the concept of fake real instruments. This may actually end up being a ‘gateway’ music game. I think EA and Activision might owe Disney for this one.

Warning: The Watercooler is the best thing you will see on the Internet today, mainly because it is the best thing I saw on the Internet yesterday. Be advised that The Watercooler is not necessarily videogame related (it usually won’t be), and is often silly, controversial, and/or not safe for work (NSFW). If this type of content frequently offends you, please be aware that I just warned you — if you still click through and get offended, it will be your own stupid fault. Otherwise, please continue…

Today’s Watercooler features a classic: The Little Mermaid. Going back and watching some of the older Disney movies, it’s amazing how much generally slutty behavior the female characters exhibited. This video shows what Ariel was really singing about when she desired to be human.

Do it.

I always had kind of a thing for Ariel, but it wasn’t until I was a little older that I realized the logistics of the situation just didn’t work out. Then I thought about how she likely smelled, and I quickly moved on to Princess Jasmine, which I stand by to this day. Pocahontas is a relatively distant second.

You’re welcome.

Think you have something that could be Watercooler material? Send it to dlandis@ripten.com. If your submission gets featured, you will win a prize package full of pride and accomplishment.

What do you think when you hear Disney? Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Donald Duck, right? But ATV’s, offroading and freestyle tricks? I think not.

That’s why Disney Interactive got Black Rock Studios to handle the development to one of the most fun, exhilarating and extreme off-road racers that is known as PURE. And you know what? It’s literally a “pure” thrill ride every time you grab the controller.

Simply put, PURE is an off-road racing game with insane freestylin’ action that would even make pro ATV riders sweat. There are seven real world locations (Italy, New Mexico, Wyoming, Thailand, New Zealand, Glamis Dunes and Ocotillo Wells) with over 30 tracks for you to use as your own playground.

The gameplay is essentially split up into four main modes: the PURE World Tour, Single Events, Freestyle or Sprints. The PURE World Tour is where you can make your name known by competing to become the PURE World Champion.

PURE allows you to build your own ATV from scratch with tons of parts available for you to work with. As you race, you’ll unlock more parts, outfits, special tricks, garage slots and new locations to race in. A character customization option would have been tight, but the only things you can do with your character are change the helmet color and unlock a few costumes.

The controls in the game are “pure”-ly simple for anyone to pick up and play. There are all sorts of trick moves to pull off while in midair and that’s when the real fun starts. By pulling the Left stick in any direction combined with pressing A, B, Y or LB/RB buttons, you’ll pull of some intense tricks. The level of tricks you can do depends on how much boost you’ve earned during the race. The more boost you earn, the more your Thrill Bar fills up and allows you to pull off B button tricks, Y button tricks and eventually, your Special Trick, which is unique to each character. The game could have used a few more trick options, but I’m easy to please.

In terms of the graphics, the locations are beautifully crafted and the game is incredibly detailed to the point of noticing which way your shirt blows in the air and seeing how much mud and dirt are splattering onto your clothes. But by far the best and most striking thing in the game is pulling off one of your Special Trick moves and just floating in the air through a stunning backdrop.

As for the characters themselves, they are truly animated making multiple gestures throughout races when speeding by another racer or just making a perfect landing on a trick. I was really awed at seeing how they reacted in certain situations during races.

Disney’s PURE features online play for up to 16 players over Xbox Live. The best thing about getting online is that there is no drop off in gameplay or design. It looks just as good online as it does off. You can play in ranked or player matches, controlling preferences such as the engine class, location and the type of race you want to play in. But my recommendation would be to wait until you have at least opened up the Class B engine before getting online, because some of these online gamers are brutal.

That said, PURE is one of the most thrilling off-road racers on the Xbox 360 and is, simply put, a really fun game. I can’t explain the joy of flying through the air and pulling of a combo of tricks and successfully landing to boost pass the next racer to the finish line. And I’m not even a fan of ATVs or off-roading, but you just have to play yourself to understand. I really couldn’t find too many things that disappointed me about the game besides the lack of more trick moves and more customization options. But other than that, the game is, well, “pure”.

Being that this is the internet, a bunch of rumours pass across the Ripten tipline in the span of a single day, and for the most part, we try to post as many as we can. Though the cries of a thousand deluded forumgoers screaming “Crysis upgraded for mobile phones!” will always be ignored, one tip piqued my interest, coming straight out of the November issue of EGM.

According to a NeoGAF member that recieved their issue early, Quartermann’s monthly rumour section held some pretty surprising information, namely that Sony’s 1st-party blockbuster LittleBigPlanet would have Disney-related DLC, as well as other third-party characters. Of course, this single piece of news wouldn’t suffice to fill Quartermann’s rumour section as a whole, so hit the jump to read the full list of rumours.

• Devil May Cry style Strider game
• Lucas Arts handing Rogue Squadron rights to new publisher. All games released on one Wii disk with enhanced visuals and Wii controls.
• Kojima wants to make a FPS game. Has been seen talking to Infinity Ward, Guerilla Games, and Treyarch
• Fast domestic release of the Disgaea side scroller
• non-Sony property LittleBigPlanet DLC coming very soon including Disney and characters from 3rd party games
• Every single 2009 PSP game will also be offered as a download

Developers working on the Pirates of the Caribbean Online video game made it clear that they need more time to fine tune the gameplay, work out bugs, and continue to enhance the overall online gaming experience, and for that reason Disney today announced that the game will be pushed back to the fall. The press release is below.

Pirates of the Caribbean Online – Launch Update

Disney has been in the beta testing process for Pirates of the Caribbean Online for the past several months. After a careful internal assessment of the state of game development as well as a review of external feedback, we have elected to spend additional development time and move to a fall launch. We will use this extra time to further enhance the game, respond to additional data we’ve collected during beta testing and incorporate more of the input we have gathered. July 16 will conclude phase 1 of the beta testing and we will resume phase 2 with a new game build in September.

In the meantime, we will continue to support and grow the strong community that has congregated around Pirates of the Caribbean Online through monthly developer diaries and newsletters, the delivery of new screen shots and assets, hosting a variety of in-game and fan events and through other exciting creative campaigns. All new materials and community information can be found at www.PiratesOnline.com.

E3, also known as “min-E3″, is being held this year from July 11th to the 13th at the Barker Hangar in Santa Monica, CA. Anyone who is familiar with the E3 of old knows that the new “min-E3″ pales in comparison to the event held in years past, that said … it is still better than nothing.

A schedule of events was released by the Entertainment Software Association (ESA) for the show on the official E3 website.

Getting the ball rolling this year will be Microsoft with a “pre-E3 conference” at 8:30pm on July 10th. Next up will be Nintendo, offering up a tasty batch wii goodness, with a conference at 9:00 the next morning. Sony will bat clean up with a conference of their own at 11:30am on the 11th.

Time slots have also been granted to third parties such as Konami, Activision, Take Two, EA, Ubisoft, and few others. For your convenience we have posted the full show schedule below:

7/10/07:

• 8:30pm – Microsoft Press Conference

7/11/07:

• 9:00am – Nintendo Press Conference
• 9:00am-5:30pm – Meeting suites open at the Fairmont Hotel
• 11:30am – Sony Press Conference
• 1:00-6:30pm – Barker Hanger open to view games
• 2:00pm – Electronic Arts conference
• 3:15pm – Activision conference
• 4:30pm – Midway conference
• 5:45pm – Konami conference

7/12/07:

• 8:00am – Take-Two conference
• 9:00am-5:30pm – Meeting suites open at the Fairmont Hotel
• 9:15am – THQ conference
• 10:30am – Ubisoft conference
• 1:00-6:30pm – Barker Hanger open to view games
• 1:00pm – Namco Bandai conference
• 3:30pm – Disney Interactive conference

7/13/07:

• 9:00am-3:30pm – Meeting suites open at the Fairmont Hotel
• 11:00am-3:30pm – Barker Hanger open to view games

Booths will be set up for over 30 companies on the floor of the hangar, however we are sad to report that there are some notable names that will not be offering up formal conferences namely; Capcom, SEGA, and Square-Enix.

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