You may remember the Playboy Cyber Girl of the Year Jo Garcia from her attempt to dethrone the Wii Fit girl as “Sexiest Ass to Fake Hoola Hoop” (which I think Wii Fit girl won). Anyway, it would seem that the Cyber Girl lives up to her title as the geek version of the Playmate of the Year, and was not just playing the Wii as a publicity stunt. Turns out she’s a big-time gamer, with a love and knowledge of Final Fantasy that runs so deep that I, of all people, would actually make fun of her dorkiness. Video follows.

Contrary to Jo Garcia’s statement, you are NOT watching this on PWN or DIE dot com.

Okay, is it just me, or do you find this girl to actually be less attractive now? It would seem that on paper, this is every guy’s dream, especially a guy like our own Chad Lakkis who is equally obsessed with Final Fantasy. In reality… not so much.

She also further fuels the stereotype that pretty girls are stupid by talking about the 15-level difference between a boss that she fought at level 45 and then again at 70, which all you number wizards out there can agree is not quite accurate. Then she says that people have the “misnomer” that there is only one Zodiac Spear when in fact there are two — so it appears that Miss Garcia not only failed math class, but English as well.  Congradurations!

Don’t get me wrong, I would make fun of this person just as much if it were a guy, if not more.  Then again, it probably wouldn’t be worth writing about if it were a guy, unless maybe it was some celebrity like Danny DeVito or something.

So, in conclusion, the moral of this story is that hot girls seem hotter when they don’t talk.  Ha, I’m just half-kidding.  Seriously, do you find this girl more or less attractive now compared to just watching her shake her ass on Wii Fit?  Ladies also — what are your feelings on the matter? And don’t just saying I’m being superficial. As a Playboy model, it it her job to be attractive, so discussing what makes her more or less attractive is relevant and important to her career (*snicker*).

Cracked.com, web presence of the popular magazine, gives us a list of 5 crazy sci-fi weapons that are actually in production. Some of them aren’t too surprising but others feel like they’re straight out of a videogame. Once you hit the jump, you may never feel safe again.

The patriotic folks at Boeing, the giant aircraft manufacturer and defense corporation, are developing an advanced tactical laser that will be mounted onto transport planes. The laser will be silent, invisible, and be able to strike up to 100 targets in rapid succession from 10,000 feet up and nine miles away. Each beam will be 10 centimeters wide and have the heating power of a blowtorch, making the laser capable of slicing through metal.

Anybody who has ever played a sci-fi FPS or watched Battlestar Galactic knows what a railgun is. It’s a weapon that’s able to fire a metal slug at incredible speeds through the use of electromagnets. To get into specifics, the rail gun that’s being developed by the U.S. Navy can fire a slug over 230 miles at Mach 7, with a velocity of Mach 5 at impact. The plan is to install these babies on Navy ships for the purpose of putting a few holes in the enemy fleet.

Oh, and for an awesome bit of trivia, the air friction created by the fast-moving slug creates a fireball. Hadoken, bitches. Navy rail gun video below.

We’ve all know for a while now that children aren’t are future, robots are. Using robots in hostile situations is nothing new. We have robots mounted with assault rifles, robots that can defuse bombs, robots that can vacuum even the dustiest apartment – robots can do anything.

iRobot, the company that makes the aforementioned Roomba, is well aware of the power they wield so they’ve teamed up with Australian weapons company Metal Storm to produce Warrior, a robot fitted with Firestorm weapons system. The Firestorm uses electrical impulses to fire off 4,000 40mm grenades per second. The best part? Warriors are being given advanced software so that they can perform certain battlefield functions autonomously. Johnny Five is alive and he will wreck your shit.

What do you call an orbital weapons platform that drops telephone poled-sized tungsten rods at 36,000 feet per second that strike with the force of a tactical nuke? You call it “Rods from God.” The theoretical weapon would involve two satellites in orbit, one for targeting and one for launching space darts at the Earth. With nothing to propel them but gravity, the darts would travel at over 7,000 MPH, roughly the speed of a meteor. The US Space Command suggests that we keep an eye on the sky starting in 2025.

Modular Disc-Wing Urban Crutise Munitions. Sounds boring, right? How about remote-controlled frisbees that explode in a shower of armor-piercing shrapnel? Not so boring anymore, are they? These little babies are being developed for the Air Force by Triton Systems. The idea is to guide one of these devices into a heavily defended area and then detonate it, allowing us to destroy our enemies without getting our hands dirty. The explosive devices can also be rigged to form a single-targeted explosion in order to destroy heavy vehicles.

And there you have it! Before I’m dead I should see exploding frisbees, invisible Death Star lasers, railguns capable of puncturing steel ship hulls, robots that fire a bajillion grenades, and telephone poles supposedly thrown by the lord.

The future looks bright.

Sources: Cracked, Global Security, Live Science