During its CES 2009 keynote, Microsoft announced that the Halo Wars demo would be arriving to the Xbox Live Marketplace on February 5, just a few weeks before the actual game hits stores on February 28.

Being a fan of the Halo series, I’m kind of skeptical about this game because it’s not an FPS. I’m glad to hear there’s a demo coming out to see if I’d like it.

Source: Kombo

Far too often we’ve seen top ten lists about boobies, yet nobody seems to have taken the time to appreciate what’s really important about women — their hearts. Of course by hearts, I’m talking about the shape of their sweet, sweet asses. What, you thought I was actually going to be a gentleman and care about anything other than looks? Get real (that’s a joke, kids — respect your mother).

Anyhow, the point is that there are plenty of men (and women) in this world who would consider themselves fans of the bottom half. Men are actually very evenly divided between boob lovers and ass lovers, and we need to try to counterbalance all these titty lists with a list about butts.

We will be counting down the best heinies over the next several days, some of which may surprise you, but all of them are sure to please. So without further ado, I give you Ripten’s Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames! No, wait — here’s some more ado: many of these images are NSFW, so make sure you know who’s around before you start fapping.

Click images to enlarge.

#10 – Cortana (Halo 2 and 3)

Okay, let’s get a few things out of the way first. Some of you will argue that Cortana shouldn’t really count because she’s not real, she’s just a hologram. While that may be true, none of the videogame babes on this list are “real” so it’s almost hypocritical to exclude her for that reason. Within the context of the game, though, Cortana is actually modeled after her creator, Dr. Halsey, so maybe we should put her name up there instead of Cortana’s.

You also may have noticed that only Halo 2 and 3 are listed next to her name. Before any fanboys get all uppity, we are well aware that Cortana was in the original Halo. Maybe you should go back and check her out and then you’ll realize why we didn’t include it. Hint: she’s kinda ugly.

So what’s so great about Cortana’s booty? Well, for one thing she’s pretty much attached to the Master Chief so he can just pop her out any time he wants to have a gander at that rear or, you know, talk to her. Additionally, she’s a hologram and semi-transparent, so you can stare at her ass even when you’re in front of her. How great is that!  She also appears to be filled with some kind of fizzy, delicious raspberry soda, so that’s a plus.

The major downfall here is, obviously, that you can’t ever touch her (not that you could really touch any of these girls, but you know what I mean). This isn’t like a sexual harassment or work appropriate kind of thing, it’s because she’s a freaking hologram. No matter how hot she may get or how many digital squats she does to perk up that posterior, it ultimately just makes her that much more of a tease. For this reason alone, we can’t justify having her any higher on the list than number 10.

And now, let’s look at the evidence (click to enlarge):

I believe we’ve made our point.

Tune in tomorrow for our 9th best booty as we count down the Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames.

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

The original announcement trailer for Halo 3: Recon left a lot of unanswered questions and, even worse, projected the release to be a full year away. Thankfully, Game Informer has pulled through and gained exclusivity for the first bit of concrete details about Bungie’s next project.

The December 2008 issue will have 10 pages’ worth of Recon information and screenshots. Subscribers will also be able to visit the Game Informer website on November 17 for an undisclosed amount of additional information.

Odd that they’d go to GI as opposed to EGM, who they’ve gone to for both Halo 2 and Halo 3 exclusives in the past. Here’s hoping that we finally get some concrete information as to exactly how Recon will differ from the traditional Halo experience.

Source: Game Informer

The Ensemble Studios CGI department has definitely been working overtime cranking out stunning Halo Wars cinematic masterpieces, but what about the “real-time” aspect of the highly anticipated real-time strategy? Ask and you shall receive.

Here’s a brand new campaign focused video demonstration narrated by Halo Wars’ lead developer, Graeme Devine. It gives us some insight into the game’s straight forward interface design, the studio’s commitment to delivering an authentic Halo experience, as well as a brief glimpse of “The Flood.” Hit the jump for the video.

The lexicon of American politics includes many derogatory terms: carpetbagger, hatchet man, or flip-flopper. Now we can add “Halo player” to the list.

In the Maricopa County District 1 Supervisor race in Arizona, incumbent Republican Fulton Brock is slamming Democratic challenger Ed Hermes in his campaign literature as a “Halo gamer.”

The mail-out is a one page pamphlet which shows a side-by-side comparison of the two in an attempt to cast Hermes in a negative light as young and inexperienced.

This mail-out comes after Hermes continues to fundraise more successfully than Brock, who has committed a series of political faux pas during his tenure. In August, Brock was secretly taped while meeting with local activists that landed him in the proverbial aqua fervens.

Hermes, 24, is running on the platform of fiscal responsibility, public accountability, and “n0 c0nzol3 haxz0rz,”

Source: joystiq.com

A new Halo Wars trailer has popped up out of New Zealand. I think I heard something somewhere about this whole “Halo” business, so I thought maybe somebody might be interested in watching it. We’ve plopped it here on our site just for those few.

I can’t make it stop! Actually, I can’t make it start either. It just kind of does its own thing. I suppose that if you want to see it again, you’ll have to reload the page. Sorry!

Source: Scoop (where “brand new” is quite subjective)

It appears that a Halo based MMO was in secret development by Ensemble prior to the studio closing its doors. Gamasutra reports on rumors that the game had been a work in progress dating back as far as 2006.

The screen shown above bears a striking resemblance to another popular MMO. When I first got wind of this news I thought “ok, this might be interesting”, but after seeing a Spartan duel-wielding two blades, that notion (like the studio itself) quickly dissipated.

If the idea still interests you, here is a tidbit that may give you hope. Microsoft Game Studios head, Phil Spencer, was recently quoted saying that there are “more than two or three teams” currently working on Halo branded projects. So, Halo MMO supporters can deny the game’s finite death, and instead choose to see this as nothing more than extended resurrection sickness.

Source: joystiq.com

Speaking to GamesIndustry.biz, Bungie’s lead AI programmer Damian Isla praises Activision and Infinity Ward’s hugely successful FPS, Call of Duty 4. Even going as far as saying that Halo could learn a few things from Call of Duty.

“We have a lot to learn from their success too, they did some very innovative things to keep people going and their experience-rewards system was something that we paid a lot of attention to,” Isla explained.

“I think it’s a great game and single player obviously is fantastic… they did a hell of a job with their set pieces, of scripting certain moments that they were really sure the player was going to actually see and experience first hand. The way that they use those moments to craft the player experience…Halo has a lot to learn from.”

While both games are extremely outstanding and have a strong fan base, the battle for the most-played game on Xbox Live continues between Halo 3 and Call of Duty 4.

It’s good to hear that Bungie is willing to learn from other successful games so they can make their titles better. Because we all know improvements can always be made to make any game better.

Source: gamesindustry.biz

There isn’t much more I can add. We all remember Halo’s Believe TV advert, but did you ever wonder what it might look like with Viva Piñata figures from Burger King? Fret not my fellow, umm…word meaning ‘likes Viva Piñata’…as Believa Piñata is here to put your mind at ease, hit the jump for the full video forwarded to us by Rare.

Entirely unofficial, this home-made video is hopefully nothing more than a well meaning fan-film. I would hate to see Hudson Horstachio meet the same fate as Master Chief. Though… Halo Pinata does have a certain appeal now that I think about it.

Update on the previous Bungie cock-block snafu:  Microsoft, as the publishing giant apparently behind Bungie’s latest game, rescinded their green light just hours shy of Bungie’s official announcement.  Bungie was about to make us all climax, but Microsoft stepped in with its shotgun and forced them to stop. This does not make us happy, Microsoft… not happy at all.

The countdown screen with the letter to the fans stayed up for about as long as the countdown itself was set to last. At that point, it was business as usual at Bungie.net, including an update to the community on the situation from community manager Luke Smith, featuring a useful and equally entertaining mini-Q&A:

“1. OMG! The announce was posted at 7! This is all part of the plan.
The news was broken to us shortly before 7 p.m. and we decided to keep with tradition to make a clean break.

2. Why leave the splash page up if it’s not happening?
We left the splash page up for the folks who didn’t see the message or were planning on tuning in the following morning before the news vanished into Bungie.net’s ether.

3. But Harold Ryan is only a TESTER this has to be fake!
Harold was a tester, but assumed the position of President a while ago. Crazy Wiki’s and their misinformation.”

In addition, the LA Times had the opportunity to interview the Microsoft Senior Vice President for Interactive Entertainment Business, better known as Don Mattrick. Rightfully so, they asked about the precarious situation they put themselves in by shoving Bungie to the side. Apparently, it was cut to make room for Microsoft to act like Nintendo with games like You’re In The Movies and appeal to the proverbial alpha moms who won’t ever hear about their press conference. Intelligently, he referred to it as “an embarrassment of riches”.

But we’re not buying it. What really happened was, Microsoft caught wind that neither Nintendo nor Sony had anything to top “omgz FFXIII 360! PS3 are doomed!” Even Mattrick himself effectively revealed that they killed it at the last minute: “We felt we could do this game more justice with a more dedicated event.”

So, X08, pretty much.

Source: LA Times via Joystiq and Bungie.net

The tail end of Bungie’s latest podcast contains an exchange of words between the two co-hosts, Brian Jarrard and Luke Smith, which tease at a possible July 14th reveal of some sort. Could it be a new Halo related project?

Brian: Isn’t there something going on on July 14th or something like that?
Luke: Yeah, around then.
Brian: Somehow that’s sticking in my head for some reason. Guess we’ll have to see.
Luke: Yep, we’ll just have to be patient. Who could say?

The tone of their delivery is best be compared to that of an adult playing hide and seek with a child. They know exactly where the child is hiding, but they still pretend they don’t.

While my fingers will remain crossed out of respect to those who want it, I highly doubt this is the Lego Halo game many gamers have been hoping for since EGM’s April fools joke. Ripten will be present for the Microsoft press conference on the morning of the 14th, so check back with us then.

Source: Bungie Podcast [Thanks Jon]

The steady flow of information about the units in the upcoming RTS, Halo Wars, is slowly beginning. Ensemble Studios have now revealed the Warthog and the Fire Base (above).

The M12 LRV ‘Warthog’ will be a small, lightweight, and fast vehicle. With an attachable Light Anti-Aircraft gun or Gauss Cannon it can be used as your basic recon unit, or as a more aggressive offensive vehicle.

The UNSC Fire Base is a rapid deploying home-from-home. It comes with basic communications and fabrication abilities. OK, no big surprises there. We have the ever-fun, team-splattering Warthog and your standard RTS base unit. Still, it’s nice to finally see what the game will look like and begin to get an idea for the playable units. We’ll be sure to keep you up to date when more, hopefully interesting, units are revealed. For all the info on Halo Wars, head to the official site here.

According to the folks over at the Angry Pixel, their source at Microsoft informs them that the upcoming Halo RTS, Halo Wars, will make its way to PC as well as Xbox 360 and feature cross-platform play via Microsoft’s Games for Windows – LIVE.

Not many games currently support cross-platform play, with Shadowrun and Universe at War: Earth Assault being two of them.

While this is good news for PC owners who don’t own an Xbox 360, I can’t imagine that playing an RTS on your 360 against an opponent on a PC would be very fair at all. Even though Ensemble Studios, the developers behind Halo Wars, have stated that they’ve worked out the kinks in controlling an RTS on a console, I can’t imagine that it’s anywhere near as fluid or as easy as using a keyboard and mouse.

UPDATE: When asked about a PC version of Halo Wars, a Microsoft Rep told IGN this:

“Halo Wars is being developed from the bottom up for the Xbox 360 and its control scheme to ensure that we deliver a groundbreaking console RTS experience. Given that, we have no plans to develop ‘Halo Wars’ for Windows Vista at this time.”

The beauty of Unreal Tournament 3 is that the PC community can create maps for PS3 owners to play. It’s such a revolutionary setup for consoles, that you’re really getting a lot of bang for your buck with this insane multiplayer experience.

Now a Halo map has been created from scratch for the game:

This is a remake of the Halo map named Wizard. This was a great close quarters map and I felt it would be right at home with Unreal Tournament 3.

This also has full bot pathing so you can play singleplayer without having to find a server with someone hosting this map.

Enjoy the screenshots below, but most importantly enjoy this new map, which can be found here.

It’s not every day that you’re mentioned by name on the official news blog of a deep-in the-hundreds cable channel, but G4TV’s The Feed should probably check their facts a little more carefully before assigning folksy, Bush-like nicknames.

Although the idea of buying “Svengali of Stationery” vanity plates and a matching neck tattoo are tempting, I really can’t take credit for the fine piece of papercraft we featured two days ago. The actual artist is from Planet Starfreak, a fantastically talented German crafting website.

Still, G4TV’s blog (excerpt below) did give me a hearty (if undeserved) shout-out, so thanks for that.

Andrew Podolsky, an apparent svengali of stationary [sic], created a pretty sweet paper model replica of the Pelican dropship from Halo.

TheFeed doesn’t have a lot of skills when it comes to making anything but annoying cat macros, so this is pretty impressive.

Podolsky also earns bonus points for an Shadowcat replica in the background too.

They also provided a link to Ripten, and awarded some extra nerdy “bonus points” for the other mecha-paper-thing on the table in the picture. Apparently it’s a “Shadowcat”, but I just thought it was an AT walker from Return of the Jedi.

How can you tell that I am no master of papercraft? Well, in the article I said that my previous attempts at papercraft have sucked, but that might have been ambiguous enough to imply that I was a talented papercraft designer and not an untalented papercraft abuser. Also, we linked to the original site. But now, I’m finally setting the record straight: I suck at folding and gluing paper together. It’s a skill I haven’t used since kindergarten, and frankly I don’t much miss it.

Also, take a close look at those pictures. You see those funny squiggles and numbers? That’s math, and it looks really hard. Again, this is a skill I haven’t used since Freshman Astronomy and, frankly, I don’t miss it much either. It turns out you can have a very fulfilling career as a freelance game writer without having to fold paper, do maths, or recognize “Shadowcat”.

So G4TV, I’d be glad to go on one of your fabulous shows and demonstrate my “Svengali of stationery” skills, but if I come up with a sudden hand cramp on the air you’ll have to forgive me. Or I could just rent out your 3am to 5am time slot and do a two-hour Ripten infomercial along with that Giovanni guy selling the roll out keyboard. Either way, I think you’ll be seeing a lot more of this site in the future.

If you like the “idea” of playing video games, but are not very good (me), I would recommend picking up a copy of Playboy: The Mansion (Available for Xbox Consoles, PS2, and PC). As a young Hugh Hefner, it is the player’s goal to build the Playboy Empire through sexy parties and putting together the Playboy magazine every month.

By hosting events, the player “Hef” can build friendships and business contacts. These parties and events give the player the opportunity to charm celebrities, political figures, musicians, and sports stars. This also gives the player the opportunity to invite friends into the inner circle and maybe find a girlfriend or two.

The more glamorous the parties, the more fame is to be had, as well as finding more fascinating, attractive people to fill the magazine. On the business side, you have to hire staff to take photos, and to write articles for the magazine.

There are 12 missions in the game, and some of the goals include making and/or fixing relationships with people, publishing certain magazine content, and throwing parties. Players can also choose not to achieve goals, as there is no time limit, and do other things such as parties, mansion renovations and playing with the mansion’s variety of games; however, magazines must continue to be published as that is the player’s income source, as parties and items cost money.

Ultimately, the most entertaining aspect of this game is that it gives gamers the opportunity to rub shoulders with stunning virtual women and escape into the fantasy world of Playboy. This article is dedicated to the Halo Lego Zanzibar map kid (shown below).