With the Gears of War 3 beta recently over, you’re probably pitching a tent in front of your local Gamestop right now to get the first copy during the midnight launch. But what’s this? Someone’ s cut in front of you, and they’re being a real dick about it! Have no fear, disheartened gamer! With the help of 3D renders from the game, NECA and Gamestop have created (cue drumroll here)…a replica Retro Lancer!

That’s right, Gears and Gears-ettes! It slices, it dices, it has machine gun sound effects, and it makes one mean human-kabob! And it’s all for only $99.99 by itself! Will you pick it up September 13? When it comes bundled with the game for $139.98? The limited edition for $159.98? Or, the coup de grace, the Epic Edition for 229.98? While you ponder that, we here at RipTen would like to remind you that we don’t condone violence with video game swag! That said, get to the back of the line before I slice your head open like a watermelon.

You can curb stomp and chainsaw to your bloodthirsty heart’s content when Gears of War 3 hits the Xbox 360 this September 20.

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Gears of War did a lot of things right. It finally implemented a decent cover system into the core gameplay of a third person shooter, its graphics put a muzzle on all those cynical high-end PC owners out there and it allowed you to shove a grenade down an enemy’s gullet. Not to mention the fact that the game had a gameplay mechanic that allowed you to curb a downed Locust ala Ed Norton in American History X. If there was another slot available in this list it might have been given to Marcus Fenix’s foot.

The Chainsaw Bayonet could be the best idea to come along in gaming since some unnamed genius decided that eating randomly abandoned slabs of roast beef equated health recovery. Chainsaws are always fun…especially when they aren’t used the way they were initially intended. The reason for this is anybody’s guess, but I’m thinking it’s probably because trees don’t bleed.

The brutality of the weapon is absolutely a sight to behold. It’s rewarding regardless of whether you’re hacking up Drones, Wretches or your best friend over XBOX Live. The Bayonet let everyone know what it was like to be Leatherface for a few hours, sans the dysfunctional family and twisted fashion sense.

Now, some of you might see Gears of War on this list and cry foul for not including the Hammer of Dawn. Well let me tell you that it was no menial task choosing between the two. But it came down to this – the Hammer of Dawn isn’t gruesome enough to cause hysterical laughter. The Hammer may cook you up, but the Bayonet cuts you in half and leaves you to rot. Now that’s vicious.

Cliffy B. (Gears’ creative genius) has been quoted as saying that “the difference between good and great are all those small touches.” Well I for one think he hit the nail on the head. Putting a chainsaw on the Lancer Assault Rifle was a small touch that nobody knew they wanted. And now it’s hard to imagine a world without it. And who would want to? Someone give this man a cookie.

Top Ten Most Badass Weapons List: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1

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