In a contrasting string of commercials, Pringles stack their chip against bagged brand competitors. The premise is simple — “not every chip gets you to the crunch.”

And as you’ll see in the Silent Hill video game scenario below, when you finally do get to the “crunch”, a strip teasing Lara Croft will be waiting. The “squelching” non-crunch counterpart is, well, not as entertaining. Enjoy.

First, the “Crunch.”

And now, the “Squelch.”

A while back there was a rumor making its way around the internet saying that Megan Fox may play Lara Croft in the next Tomb Raider movie, as it was an origin story that called for a younger actress. This rumor finally made its way to Angelina Jolie and she is none too pleased.

It seems Jolie thinks that Fox steals a lot of things from her, like her style and her tattoos. I don’t think that she has any valid reason to be upset, as she couldn’t play Lara Croft in an origin story anyway. Why does she even give a crap?

Go Nintendo

Recognize that rear? You should. One of the most famous behinds in all of gaming makes its way to the number 8 spot of our Top 10 Nicest Asses countdown . Of course you aren’t satisfied with that little picture and need more visual proof, and we humbly oblige. Again, please note that there may be some NSFW content included.

Click images to enlarge.

#8 – Lara Croft (Tomb Raider series)

Seriously, is this a surprise to anyone? Maybe the fact that the most famous female in all of videogames is way down at number 8 is a surprise, but I think everyone kinda expected to see her on this list.

So what’s so great about Lara’s lower lumps? Well, for one thing she’s gone through a slight change with every iteration of the Tomb Raider games. At some point, there has likely been a Lara Croft model that you would totally bone. Even if her ass hasn’t met your standards yet, there’s hope that it will get bigger/smaller/rounder/flatter in the future.

Even if the “official” Lara Croft doesn’t do it for you, there are downloadable skins for the PC version like the infamous Nude Patch. Even further than that, however, you have fan art and the very, very, very NSFW content of sites like LaraCroftNude. It’s bound to happen with any pop culture icon, but Lara Croft has an entire pay site dedicated to Tomb Raider porn. That’s big time.

Additionally, Lara Croft has been portrayed by a slew of real life hot chicks. This alone makes “Lara Croft” a far-fetched yet possible sexual encounter — there are dudes out there that have actually boned Lara Croft. Think about that.

Looking at this picture, you may be drawn (as I was) to the Lara on the far right. This is model Karima Adebibe, and she has by far been the best Lara Croft to date. Need more pics?

Alison Carroll has recently taken on the role of Lara Croft. While she may actually have the gymnastics skill to pull off Lara’s fancy acrobatics, I still don’t think she beats Karima where it really counts: hotness. Alison Carroll is still pretty hot, though, and you can check out her gallery here.

And just for added eye candy, here’s a video of Lara hopping around in a white dress:

…and here’s a video of her in a bunch of different bathing suits:

I think we’ve proven why Lara deserves on this list (as if there was much doubt). Don’t forget to check back in tomorrow to see our number 7 pick for the Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames.

Oh, and here’s one more pic for good measure:

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions | 1

Another Tomb Raider: Underworld developer video has surfaced, and in it, the game’s Creative Director and Lead Animator delve into the plethora of new animations and capabilities they hope will make the latest iteration of Lara Croft the best one yet.

The ability to fire at multiple targets and other new additions to the gameplay are discussed, but Lara’s wetsuit (if you want to call it that), combined with what seems to be a revamped “we’ll focus on your ass while you do whatever it is that you do” camera angle steal the show.

Also, it appears that the Creative Director’s segment was shot on whatever floor the 26 former Silicon Knights employees used to work on. Holy crap, could they have found a better location to shoot his spot??

Hit the jump to watch the video and see exactly what I mean.

So, having watched the video, it’s clear that the main question developers asked themselves while making the new Lara was “what limitations does she have that it doesn’t make sense for her to have?” I’m going to go with pants as my final answer.

New Lara Croft Gallery

15 Photos

 

Think of electioneering as a real-time strategy game. You make your moves at the same time as your opponent, and in the end whoever has the most points (votes) wins. While politicos may scratch their heads at the pick of relatively inexperienced Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as McCain’s running mate, gamers will know that there is no better ally on your side than a bear-hunting, gun-toting babe in a fur-lined parka.

A reader on political blogger Andrew Sullivan’s site wrote:

It would be a big mistake to dismiss Palin’s pop-cultural appeal. It’s clear she was chosen solely to game the system, and the Republicans OWN that play. I’m sure they expect her to be a lure for the female (not feminist) vote, and they already have a lock on the over 60 white males.

In addition, I predict a bonus unintended consequence for McCain among middle class/educated/post-college/pre-adult white males. A demographic label that follows many into their late 30s and currently trends for Obama. Basically the gamers/Gen-Xers/Seth Rogen/Will Farrell crowd. The GOP has already rolled out video of Palin in snugly tailored fatigues, combat boots and tight t-shirt brandishing a weapon at a meet-n-greet with the Alaska National Guard in Kuwait. I’m sure they’re scrambling to find more. “Sarah Palin as Laura Croft” will leave these guys drooling like zombies.

Personally, I would have gone with Sonic the Hedgehog. He could probably help fund the campaign with his treasure trove of gold rings.

Source: Andrew Sullivan

You may remember the Playboy Cyber Girl of the Year Jo Garcia from her attempt to dethrone the Wii Fit girl as “Sexiest Ass to Fake Hoola Hoop” (which I think Wii Fit girl won). Anyway, it would seem that the Cyber Girl lives up to her title as the geek version of the Playmate of the Year, and was not just playing the Wii as a publicity stunt. Turns out she’s a big-time gamer, with a love and knowledge of Final Fantasy that runs so deep that I, of all people, would actually make fun of her dorkiness. Video follows.

Contrary to Jo Garcia’s statement, you are NOT watching this on PWN or DIE dot com.

Okay, is it just me, or do you find this girl to actually be less attractive now? It would seem that on paper, this is every guy’s dream, especially a guy like our own Chad Lakkis who is equally obsessed with Final Fantasy. In reality… not so much.

She also further fuels the stereotype that pretty girls are stupid by talking about the 15-level difference between a boss that she fought at level 45 and then again at 70, which all you number wizards out there can agree is not quite accurate. Then she says that people have the “misnomer” that there is only one Zodiac Spear when in fact there are two — so it appears that Miss Garcia not only failed math class, but English as well.  Congradurations!

Don’t get me wrong, I would make fun of this person just as much if it were a guy, if not more.  Then again, it probably wouldn’t be worth writing about if it were a guy, unless maybe it was some celebrity like Danny DeVito or something.

So, in conclusion, the moral of this story is that hot girls seem hotter when they don’t talk.  Ha, I’m just half-kidding.  Seriously, do you find this girl more or less attractive now compared to just watching her shake her ass on Wii Fit?  Ladies also — what are your feelings on the matter? And don’t just saying I’m being superficial. As a Playboy model, it it her job to be attractive, so discussing what makes her more or less attractive is relevant and important to her career (*snicker*).

The new face of Lara Croft, 23 year old Alison Carroll, has been spotted making her rounds at Leipzig. Can you tell which one is Alison?

We know it’s hard, but try anyway. If you guess correctly, you may click the jump and see another photo of the British beauty taken at the show.

If these two photos are not enough to quench your unhealthy Lara Croft obsession, feel free to check out the gallery we published a little over a week ago.

Source: GoNintendo

The new model for Lara Croft, Alison Carroll, recently did an interview with British News Channel Five.  We got the video here, and in addition to the interview itself, you will see some hot footage of Alison in the new yellow and black swimsuit, as well as some of her physical training.  Miss Carroll also does her spokeswomanly duty and slyly drops the Tomb Raider name and release date with a wink and a smile (not quite literally, but whatever).

You can check out more images and another video of Allison in our previous post by clicking here.

The official site for Tomb Raider: Underworld has been launched by Eidos this weekend, bringing with it conformation that the title will be released this November across all current-gen platforms as well as the PS2 and DS.

Packed with podcasts, forums, theme tunes and screen shots, the new site provides more Lara than even the keenest action-archaeologist could want. There is also a brief outline of the new quest you will be undertaking, which from what we can tell contains swimwear and the Norse underworld.

With E3 just around the corner and Eidos promising to let us have a look at the brand new title at the show, it looks like the hype wagon is slowly beginning its long journey into November.

Check out the new site here.

This is what we have all been waiting for … a battle for the ages, and the time is now. We have assembled 32 of the finest video game characters that have ever called a console home, and a five round single elimination tournament of speed, skill, strength, and determination stands between them and being named pixel for pixel the baddest that ever was, the “King of the Game”.

This weeks match up is a classic battle of old school versus new school, as Lara Croft goes head to head with Pitfall Harry. John Madden calls the game live from the University of Phoenix Stadium, home of the NFL’s Arizona Cardinals, with the help of special theme guest Harrison Ford.

Click the images below to begin. Once the larger image loads, you may need to click the green arrow icon that appears below it in order to see it in full size. Enjoy the amazing art of Siddhartha Deb, and check back next week for our next installment of King of the Game.

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We hope you enjoyed this weeks “King of the Game” match up. Check out more of Siddhartha Deb’s art work at his official website, www.mrsidslounge.com.

Ok, so we came across this little bit of heaven while browsing reddit.com and just had to share the find with our readers. Granted, not everyone here at ripten was completely in love with Bungie’s latest Halo release in terms of the campaign mode, but the multiplayer aspect of Halo 3 can hardly be called a disappointment.

That said, below are a few highlights from an “open letter to Bungie” we discovered which was posted anonymously on craigslist.org. In it the writer discusses their dislike for the latest release in the Halo series as well as some ideas and suggestions for Bungie in the future.

“It is evident that you are now in bed with Microsoft by the fact that you released a game like “Halo 3” with seemingly no regard for the consumers that have padded your pockets.” Not sure about everyone else, but when we are in bed with someone we don’t usually break up with them, unless the sex was bad, and even then it’s usually after they have gone home.

“If you are going to justify the $60.00 … at least give us further customization options. For instance, wouldn’t it be fun to make the “Master Chief” run around shooting people in his underwear? That, personally, would crack me up.” We are definitely not licensed psychiatrists, but a few of us did stay at the local Holiday Inn express last night and we think this guy has a thing for the Chief. If they are willing to dish out $60 for undie mode, imagine what they would be willing to pay for some all out nudity.

“Furthermore, I believe Lara Croft is empowering to younger female gamers. There. I said it.” Good, get it out … get it all out.

“What would you think about a sexy three way between Master Chief, Lara Croft and Space Pac Man? Haha! That would be wild! No, no…not for the game. It is just funny to think about. Don’t you think?” Right about now we are wondering how many drawings this kid has done in his sketch pad of the afore mentioned threesome.

“I think “Terms of Endearment” the video game could be AWESOME!” If Bungie takes this game concept on they will need to push one of the others aside and personally we really want to see the “Three Men and a Baby” videogame first.

“(I was pretty mad back then when I got that game and no angels were in it. I ain’t no bible nut but I guess you could consider me “spiritual”)” Because we all know that there is nothing worse than buying a game expecting to get Michael Landon only to be let down completely.

If the quotes we pulled weren’t enough, we went ahead and included the entire work of art as well. The complete letter as it appears on craigslist.org is posted below … enjoy it, we sure did.

- – – – – – – – – – – – – – -

October 9, 2007
Bungie Studios
One Microsoft Way
Redmond, WA 98052

To Whom It May Concern:

It is evident that you are now in bed with Microsoft by the fact that you released a game like “Halo 3” with seemingly no regard for the consumers that have padded your pockets.

I would, however, like to congratulate you on the marketing campaign which, by all accounts, was the most skillful and creative development to come out of the entire “Halo 3” debacle.

Overrated does not begin to describe it. “Next Gen”, indeed. It would appear that you consciously did not deliver on what you promised because you knew the game would sell record amounts of copies no matter what you did. RING RING! Hear that? That’s Bungie phoning it in.

The graphics were no better than “Halo 2”. The campaign play is boring and repetitive. If you are going to justify the $60.00 price tag on the multi-player aspects alone, then at least give us further customization options. For instance, wouldn’t it be fun to make the “Master Chief” run around shooting people in his underwear? That, personally, would crack me up.

Additionally, I was saddened to see that you did not include one of the Halo franchise’s most beloved characters – Lara Croft. Hey – I’m no kind of freaky perv but let’s face facts – SHE IS HAWT! I can’t help but think that Lara Croft was the reason “Halo 1” and “Halo 2” sold so many copies in the first place and then you go and ruin it all by NOT EVEN MAKING MENTION OF HER IN “HALO 3”?

Furthermore, I believe Lara Croft is empowering to younger female gamers. There. I said it.

If I had been designing this game, instead of a bunch of hollow promises (thanks marketing!) I would include the Master Chief in his underwear function (mentioned above and still hilarious) and Lara Croft and maybe a multi-player way for them to get intimate, if you know what I mean.

Let’s face it. You got a lot of younger players out there who buy your game even with the “M” for “MATURE” rating. I don’t need to teach you guys a biology class on teen sex but the fact of the matter is there are way to many pregnant teens out there and I think a little interactive education between Master Chief and Lara Croft could be very beneficial to our nation’s youth.

I’m not talking anything “X” rated here. Master Chief could stay in his underwear (ha, ha) and Lara in her short shorts. The key here is EDUCATION. Will you take that key and unlock the vault of learning? Or will you continue to make disappointments like “Halo 3”?

One of my favorite parts of “Halo 2” was the boss battle with “Space Pac-Man”. You kind of left it at a cliff-hanger inferring that Space Pac-Man would return in “Halo 3”. Once again, my gaming experience was stained with disappointment. While I love the voice work of MASTER ACTOR KEITH DAVID (John Carpenter’s “The Thing”.) it would have been so much better to hear his sultry baritone coming out of Space Pac Man’s mouth and not that Archie character or whatever he was called.

What would you think about a sexy three way between Master Chief, Lara Croft and Space Pac Man? Haha! That would be wild! No, no…not for the game. It is just funny to think about. Don’t you think?

The point I’m trying to make here is that you could have gone a lot of different directions or, at the very least, fulfilled some of the hype you got everyone worked up about. However, I suppose you did what you needed to. Namely, sell 18 gazillion copies without any thought put into satisfying consumer expectation.

I’m no game designer. I leave that to guys at NASA. But I’ve been knocking around a few ideas that I will share with you. Maybe you can use some of these next time BEFORE you release another steaming pile of poo like “Halo 3”.

1. Okay – now – you guys are all nerds so I’m sure you’ve heard of “Star Trek”, right? All those great characters and the kids just LOVE Mr. McCoy and Chewbacca. Now – stick with me here – what IF you took the crew of the USS Enterprise and turned them all – get ready – INTO BABIES. And then – instead of a space SHIP – they are in a space CRIB! (On a side note – you guys really set something off in me with the Space Pac Man. Now – I like to just think of EVERYTHING in space. Like “Space Pope”.)

I’m not quite sure of what the actual game play would be like. That’s for you eggheads to workout. But the concept – Star Trek Babies – is pure gold.

2. The problem with video games based on movies is that they’re never any good. Am I right? So – why not make MORE games based on Oscar winning motion pictures. Brace yourself because I think “Terms of Endearment” the video game could be AWESOME! You can choose to play the Timothy Hutton character – hold on – that was “Ordinary People”. Well who cares? They are both great movies and I can tell you right HERE and NOW that none of your competitors will have even thought about this. What would YOU rather do? Control some Dig-Dug in a dirt thing or help Deborah Winger deal with her impending demise? I think the choice is quite clear.

3. With the success of “The Sims” the argument that people like to do the exact same things they do in real live except on a computer is now academic. Yes…academic. So, pretty much, you guys might try that angle.

In conclusion, I will give you kudos to buying off most of the drooling, sycophantic game reviewers. However, you haven’t fooled EVERYONE.

Have a margarita down at the local Chevy’s in Redmond on me, guys. You got my $60.00 so you can certainly afford it. Maybe you can get a little drunk and think about the good old days when you made that ONE good game – the original “Halo”. (On a side note – I was pretty mad back then when I got that game and no angels were in it. I ain’t no bible nut but I guess you could consider me “spiritual”)

I will not be buying any more of your products if this is the quality I can expect from your future endeavors.

Regards,

NAME REMOVED FOR PRIVACY REASONS
I did however mail this to Bungie
Source: Craigslist.org

Can Marcus Fenix roadie run his way through a bullet blazing, one liner laden, no holds barred battle with the one and only Duke Nukem? Will Metal Gear’s main man Snake slither his way to victory against the Splinter Cells triclops, Sam Fisher? Metriod’s Samus Aran, or the combat evolved Master Chief? The king of cold: Sub Zero or the queen of hot: Lara Croft?

We here at ripten have been working for over two months, researching, arguing, and eating lots of junk food, all in the name of bringing you an accurate account of each characters quest for video game immortality. The results are in and over the coming weeks, you will lay witness to five rounds of sword swinging, scope sniping, chainsaw buzzing intense action.

Below you will find division one of the first round match ups, division two will be up tomorrow. We would love to hear your comments on how you think things should go down and who you would like to see win it all.

DIVSION ONE

Update: June 4th, 2007

Hello everyone,

Division One has changed slightly based on the feedback we received from readers. Lara Croft will now be facing off against “Pitfall Harry” and Ryu of Ninja Gaiden fame will be swinging his sword against Mr. Joe Shinobi.

We thank you for the feedback! To see the division two matchups click here. Check back tomorrow for matchups to start posting to the site in comic book page format featuring the artwork of various artists!

Thanks,
Mad Gamer

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