Valentine’s Day is such a hard holiday to shop for. You can either go for the old reliable gifts of candy and flowers to seem incredibly boring, or go out on a limb and buy something different, but there’s no guarantee your significant other will like it. I’m here to help you friend, provided the one you love is a gamer. If not, then why did you click on this list at all? Join me as we go on a journey of pure gaming awesomeness.

N7 Hoodie (Mass Effect)

Anyone who has played Mass Effect will enjoy this tribute to Commander Shepard’s trademark armor. Staying true to the customization available to the armor in Mass Effect 2, there are even a few different color available. Even better, it’s available for the ladies as well. Bioware sure knows how to romance the ladies.

Assassin’s Creed Hoodie/Scarf

Mass Effect not your game?  Well then how about this Assassin’s Creed hoodie and scarf combo?  Sneak around your loved one and surprise them with this awesomely dangerous looking hoodie.  Just don’t go jumping off your roof into bales of hay . . . you’ll hurt yourself.

Someone was nice enough to get one for RipTen’s own Dani Cantrell . . . doesn’t she just look intimidating?

Yes . . . She Does.

Video Game Cartridge Hard Drives

Sometimes a flash drive isn’t enough storage and people need to have an external hard drive handy. If you really love that gamer in your life, you won’t let them walk around with just any old external device, you’ll pick them up a hard drive put right into their favorite game. Etsy member 8bitmemory has managed to put these devices into NES and SNES cartridges. These are incredibly awesome, just be prepared to pay a bit more for all the hard work.

Chocolate Video Game Controllers

If you’re gonna go all traditional, you might as well put a spin on it. Everyone likes chocolate, and this thing is 100% edible. The only problem is that it looks so cool you might want to save it for yourself.

8-bit Flower Bouquet

In keeping with the traditional theme, why would you get the same flowers that everyone gets? Geek it up a bit, 8 bits in fact,  with the 8-bit flower bouquet from Thinkgeek. The digitized, 3-D arrangement contains some of the most famous flowers in video game history. Listen guys, when your girl gets flowers you want her to think of gaming goodness, and since they never go bad she can keep them around as a constant reminder of how awesome you are.

Angry Birds Plushies!

Who doesn’t love Angry Birds?  That’s right – everyone loves angry birds!  Well now you can show your love for the birds (and your significant other) and hatred for those snarky pigs with these real life adorable plush toys! Plus chicks love stuffed animals. Why get a big stuff bear when you can get a big stuff bird instead?

Droid plush

If Angry Birds are not your thing but you still love to game on your mobile phone, how about this adorable Droid Plush?  He’s cute and will get better service than your iPhone plush any day of the week.

Penny Arcade Books 1-6 Bundle

Anyone in love with video games and geek culture in general is probably a fan of Penny Arcade and doesn’t even know it yet. This bundle of the 6 volumes of the astoundingly popular webcomic discusses everything from extensive software patches to a mythical beast known as the dickwolf with a humor unmatched by anyone else in the medium. Don’t get your lover a book, get them a comic and a damn good one at that.

Video Game Lingerie

There’s no wrong choice here fellas (and ladies,) but this is a pretty good bet that you’ll catch attention with this. It’s somewhere between lingerie and a costume, but it is all amazing. The choices for video game lingerie is pretty slim, but this is a bright spot in an otherwise barren market. This is the sort of outfit that makes people make a few Pac Juniors of their own.

Splatterhouse Shoes

Listen here girls, your guy probably doesn’t like sweet things. In fact, there’s a good chance he is more swayed by some a fountain of spewing blood. Barring that you have a disgusting blood fountain, these will probably be the best way to get him to confess his undying love for you…and these shoes.

Hopefully you’ll find it a little bit easier to shop for that gamer in your life. If these items should fail to impress, then you could always preorder them the next big game or console.  They’ll love you forever if you preorder an NGP or 3DS, guaranteed.

• Geeked Out: World’s Largest NES Controller Brings New Meaning To Co-op
• Splatterhouse Shoes
• Geeked-Out: Radiohead, NES-Style
• Geeked Out: You Know You Want This Edible and Playable Angry Birds Cake
• Geeked Out: Angry Birds Halloween Costumes
• Angry Birds Downloaded 100 Million Times

Dan and I were discussing the upcoming Street Fighter game over Google Talk while I searched for Sagat cosplay images on Google (this is what we do when we get bored). Most of the images I found had nothing to do with Sagat, including the image you see above, which Dan informed me was Kylie Minogue.

Dan then went on to explain who she was and asked me if I had ever seen her lingerie commercial. I had not, so he kindly referred me to its Youtube video counterpart — which we have decided to share with you in our very first edition of “Ripten After Dark”. This would not be considered “safe for work” content, however the weekend approaches, and most of us who work in front of a computer for a living don’t work weekends.

To those who say this has nothing to do with videogames, you are wrong! Dan also informed me that she played Cammy in the Street Fighter movie — which means this is very relevant. Hit the jump for the video.

[youtube width="480" height="378"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md-8IF-nOX0[/youtube]

• Five O’Clock Fan Art: Cammy
• The Watercooler: Go On Then, Just This Once
• Five O’Clock Fan Art: Cammy’s Legendary Buns of Squeal
• Five O’Clock Fan Art: Street Fighter Kids
• Nude Gaming Parties – They Exist
• Cammy Joins Street Fighter X Tekken Cast