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Marky Mark’s Terrorist Vibrations: Exclusive First Look

Ripten Staff — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 23:00:29 +0000

In a recent interview, Mark Wahlberg made some comments about how he would have stopped 9/11 from happening. While many were up in arms about his words, it turns out that the whole thing was just a PR stunt to garner attention for his upcoming video game Marky Mark’s Terrorist Vibrations. RipTen got a chance to sit down with M-Dub himself as he walked us through an exclusive first look at the game.

Mark tells us the basic premise:

“Once upon a time, the most attractive man in the universe was taking a flight around the world to teach people how to work out and shit. His name was Marky Mark. He’s, like, really dope. Soon after the plane takes off, a few guys jump out of their seats screaming in some space language, and in the process, they cause Mark to spill his protein smoothie. Mildly annoyed, he just turns up the volume on his mp3 player and begins to prepare himself another smoothie. But wait… what happened to his milk? He looks over to see one of the screaming men with a milk mustache! Oh my god, right?! This fills the young stud with so much funky bunchedness that he can’t contain it any longer. He has no other option but to dance.”

As the game begins, we find a shirtless Marky Mark at the back of the plane. In classic 2D side-scrolling action, we push right on the D-pad to walk forward as terrorists move in to confront us. We have several options of attack here. Hitting the A button causes our character to open a dialogue with the enemies. He talks about his movies and is generally pleasant. This causes the terrorists to be stunned with confusion, and we are able to walk right past them. Another move involves timed button presses to wow the enemy with Marky Mark’s epic jump-roping skills, again stunning them and allowing us to move past them. “I only like to be violent in real life and movies,” Mark tells us. “My kids will be playing this game, bitch.”

We notice the ‘Funky Bar‘ and ask what that’s all about. “Aw yeah! You hold in this trigger button to go into dance mode, then you can hit the buttons to do different moves that fill up the Funky Bar. Once that’s maxed out, you can unleash the Good Vibrations, which summons the mystic powers of backup vocals. It literally blows their minds.” We try it and have the video below to show what that’s like.

We continue down the length of the plane until we reach the front. Here we’re faced with the door to the cabin and a boss fight with the captain.

“Check it. So, like, the door’s locked and shit, right? But you don’t got no key, so how you supposed to get in there? I’ll give you a hint: Calvin Klein underwear is really durable. But once you get in, you and the captain have a rap battle. Winner gets to decide where to crash the plane. I’d crash it at the airport so everyone would be safe, duh. Or maybe New Zealand. I always wanted to go there. Either way, 9/11 doesn’t happen if you win. It’s like, people love you so much that they remove the 11th from September’s calendar.”

We had a hard time understanding why we’d fight the captain of the plane once all the terrorists were taken care of.

“It’s like this: the captain is in charge but all these milk-stealers were somehow still allowed on the plane. The captain’s supposed to screen that shit. So he either didn’t do his job or he’s one of them. So obviously I have to rap with that guy.”

Seems pretty simple, and planes aren’t that big, so isn’t this a little limited in content?

“Yo, we got tons of side missions. One of them is like a Rubik’s cube that shows you how to get huge pecs. Part of my goal is to teach people to not be pussies, to not just sit around while starving kids in Africa are wishing they could do more sit-ups, and to eat more chicken. It’s educational for kids.”

Marky Mark’s Terrorist Vibrations is being developed for XBLA, PSN, PC, and Sega Master System. What’s up with the Master System?

“Yo, you ever play Sonic? Nuff said, muthafucka.”

We then informed Mr. Mark that Sonic was never on the Master System.

“Whatever, bitch. Don’t make me Golden Axe you!”

Fair enough.

We’ll keep you updated as the game nears release.

Words by Dan. Video and images by Chad. Concept enhanced when their powers combine.

You can find Dan (@ManMandis) and Chad (@TheMadGamer) hanging out on Twitter daily, humiliating the innocent and making the world a funnier place.

Check out some of our other “Exclusive First Looks”

Vagina Hero: Equal parts music-rhythm game, simulation, and real-time strategy. Basically what I’m saying is that it’s complicated.
Wii New Year’s Eve: The most realistic simulation of a New Year’s Eve celebration without actually having to step in vomit on the streets.
Jersey Shore Kinect: HairGel Games gives us an exclusive first look at Jersey Shore: Kinect.

Mark Wahlberg To Play Nathan Drake in ‘Uncharted’ Film

Dave Ernst — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 15:54:57 +0000

It looks like the Uncharted movie is finally coming together as it’s script is currently being written and fine-tuned. David O. Russell will be writing/directing, and he’s now a seasoned pro with movies such as “Three Kings” and “The Fighter” under his belt.

Recently, It was rumored Nathan Fillion would play Nathan Drake, but it looks like Mark Wahlberg will be the star of the upcoming movie.

Wahlberg sat down with MTV and talked about his involvement in the movie.

“David is one of the best writer/directors I’ve ever worked with. The idea that he has is just insane. So hopefully we’ll be making that movie this summer.”

O. Russell is currently writing parts for Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro who will play Wahlberg’s uncle and father respectively. The two actors aren’t confirmed as part of the cast, but O. Russell is extremely interested in casting these fine actors. Wahlberg also expressed the amount of effort being put into making this a great, action-packed movie.

“I’m obviously in whatever David wants to do but the idea of it is so off the charts: De Niro being my father, Pesci being my uncle. It’s not going to be the watered-down version, that’s for sure.”

David O. Russell hopes to expand the Uncharted universe with a new story and new adventure. If all goes according to plan, Uncharted will be filming this summer.

Source: MTV Multiplayer

BONUS: Here’s my original header image. This one’s for the ladiez.

The Watercooler – 20 October 2008

Dan Landis — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 11:04:55 +0000

The Watercooler is a daily Ripten feature that basically gives people something to talk about. “Hey, did you see that video on The Watercooler today?” Of course you did.

Today’s Watercooler is all about the Marky Mark SNL skit and The Wahlberg’s subsequent response to it. It’s today’s video (videos, actually) because I thought it was funny and this is my thing, so whatever.

Do it.

You’re welcome.

Mark Wahlberg Injured by Unruly Wiimote

Dan Landis — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 03:21:06 +0000

Mark Wahlberg was spotted with his hand wrapped from a recent injury. Did he bust himself up during one of his diving slo-motion gun battles on the set of Max Payne, or perhaps from punching someone in the face with extreme Funky Bunchedness? Nope, turns out he took a crack on the wrist doing something far more dangerous: playing Wii Sports.

In an interview with British movie magazine Total Film, The Mark explained his injury:

“Um, it was tennis on the Wii! I was playing with my daughter the other day and she swung the remote real hard and it cracked me on the side of my wrist! Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. It sounds kinda funny – but it fuckin’ hurt, man!”

Seems strange to me that he would wrap it up, though. Why doesn’t he just pop some painkillers and chill out until his health refills? Duh!

Source: Total Film via Games Radar

CliffyB Breaks Mark Rein’s Face

Dan Landis — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 07:45:25 +0000

After being nominated as some of the people in videogaming that need to “shut the fuck up“, Cliff Bleszinski and Mark Rein take it to the ring to decide which of the two of them wins the right to shut up more. Using the photo upload tools in EA’s new game Facebreaker, I was able to poorly reconstruct these two mammoths of mutilating machismo and let them do their thing. Video follows.

Mark came out swinging and really had Cliffy on the ropes, but the Blaznats is no bitch and came back with a vengeance. Too bad there’s a time limit — we’ll have to wait until the game releases in September to see what would happen if they weren’t confined to mere 90-second slap fights.

P.S. Does anyone else get the overwhelming urge to barf all over the place whenever they are subjected to EA Trax, or is that just me?

Max Payne Movie Will “Make You Feel Like You ARE Max Payne”

Dan Landis — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 23:49:20 +0000

The cast and director of the upcoming game-to-film adaptation of Max Payne gave a little Q&A at the San Diego Comic-Con this past weekend. Marky Mark discussed how he was really looking to kick ass again, and the director, John Moore, expressed how he intended to break the mold of videogame movies and make sure Max Payne doesn’t suck.

John Moore had the following to say in regards to making gamers happy:

“Here’s the funny thing about video games and movies — the minute you take that controller out of the player’s hands, you better deliver something of equal value. Ya gotta give them something so exciting and kick-ass and we thought the way to do that is to be highly subjective and make you feel like you are Max Payne.”

I’m not entirely sure how he intends to do that — is the movie shot from 3 feet behind Marky Mark except during cutscenes? As I said before, however, the trailer does have me excited for the movie. Of course, I’m a Marky Mark fan, so maybe I’m just biased. Speaking of Marky Mark, here’s what the actor said regarding his role as the titular Max Payne:

“I read the script — after Invincible and The Happening and Lovely Bones, I wanted to kick some ass again and I got an opportunity to do it in a way where I think I did more than I did in The Departed: movies like Four Brothers and Fear.”

They also apparently talked about a new camera the used called “The Phantom” that takes up to 1,000 frames per second (which is almost as fast as Crysis runs on my killer gaming PC). Bullet-time was a huge part of what made Max Payne (the game) what it is, but the difficulty they faced was doing slo-mo in a way that didn’t just look like The Matrix or a John Woo flick.

Wish I could be at Comic-Con myself, but at least the lucky bastards at Geeks of Doom keep me (and thus, you) informed.

Max Payne Movie Trailer Made Me Geekgasm in Slo-Mo

Dan Landis — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 06:38:25 +0000

I just watched the trailer for the upcoming movie adaptation of Max Payne, and it was shockingly good. I had a certain expectation considering it was a videogame movie (that being that it would suck hard), but this film may have a shot at breaking the stereotype. Read on to see the YouTube-ified trailer.

Personally, I like Marky Mark. I think he’s a fine actor and has the perfect scowl-face for Max Payne. Honestly, he would have made a much better Wolverine in the X-Men movies, even though Hugh Jackman is the shit, and the Funky Bunch could have been those other mutant schmoes. Anyways, Marky Mark has played cops before, and he’s played sulky, angry dudes before. He’s even already played an angry cop that was sulky and a dude – Marky Mark is Max Payne.

Enough of my rambling — check out the trailer for yourself: