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Ten Funny Scripted Video Game Jokes

Sam Naylor — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 18:00:44 +0000

Games can be funny. More often than not, it’s a glitch or quirk of the game can create hilarious results, or just the nature of the game (see: Just Cause 2). What I thought needed a salute, however, was the scripted humour in video games providing mirthful moments. Adventure games from the 1990s were a goldmine, but I’ve tried not to include them too much here- otherwise it would just be a list of the best jokes Tim Schafer wrote. Here you’ll find an eclectic mix of genres, all with one thing in common: they made me laugh out loud. I’m not saying these are the best, as humour is so subjective, but they’re some of my favourites. If you’ve got better ones, leave a comment.

1. [Subject name here]

This was the first time I properly laughed out loud listening to GLaDOS in Portal. Most of her lines are amusing in an ‘oh-that-was-clever’ way, but for some reason this one really took me by surprise. I still think it’s funnier than most of the iconic stuff about the companion cube, though I can see why those were picked up on by the Internet. In fact, I think this might be the best joke in the whole of Portal canon, simply because it was the only one I could think of word-for-word when making this list.

2. Er… I’m over this way.

I select this particular joke not because it’s the funniest joke in The Secret of Monkey Island, but more because it sets the scene for a superbly-written comedy game. I also happen to think it’s a great example of a joke which is enhanced by being a gamer. We become used to sprites looking weird and not lining up with what they are supposed to be doing, so when it’s pointed out like that, it just makes it even funnier.

3. You can see how good my painting’s getting.

This one’s all the better for the fact that there just aren’t that many jokes in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. The element of surprise just makes it all the better when you see Modryn Oreyn’s attempt at fine art. There are a few jokes to be found in Oblivion, but for me, this one is the best. Unfortunately, I’ve kind of ruined it by featuring it here. Sorry about that.

4. Relax

No video for this one, but as it’s a simple dialogue joke I’ll just quote it instead. This one’s part of a huge line of jokes which hit you one-by-one in the Sam and Max games developed by Telltale, but it’s a personal favourite of mine. As with Portal, it was one of the first jokes that really made me laugh out loud while I was playing- so much so that I remembered it more clearly than any other jokes in the games.

Sam: (looking at Sybil’s “Relax” sign) That’s got to be the least relaxing sign I ever seen.
Max: What about the on at the barbershop that says, “Low Fatality Rate”?
Sam: I stand corrected.

5. Exploder

It would be hard to make a list of the best jokes without including something from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. The old GTA games were full of parodies and jokes, and my favourite comes in the form of a fake advert on the in-game radio station, V-Rock. I would say the whole ad is hilarious, but if you forced me to pick a specific joke, it would have to be “But I’m not married! You are now- to America!”

6. Ahem. Yeah, I’m aware of that.

This joke is great for its sheer simplicity. The animation on the kick in the plums is quite funny in itself, but when Cortez from TimeSplitters Future Perfect replies to the girl in the high voice it makes me laugh every time. This is another joke that stands out in my memory as something I really chuckled away at when I first played it. Great game, by the way, and it has a good sense of humour throughout.

7. Bowser bares all

Paper Mario is littered with references and jokes, and some of the best come in the form of giving personalities to the famous characters. In this aside from the action of the game, Peach discovers Bowser’s diary, where he is seen writing, “Ohh, I’m Mario, I’m so big and strong and good and helpful…”

8. Try to remember the mission, if you can.

There are lots of silly conversations to be had in Metal Gear Solid 2, but this is my pick of the lot. It’s partly a reference to the first game, but partly just Otacon telling Snake off for being a pervert. Great attention to detail in this game, and it’s rewarding to see what kind of reactions you get- especially if you get a gem like this.

9. Sarcastic general

This is probably stretching the definition of a joke, but since it was scripted and makes me laugh, I’m going to include it anyway. The FMV cutscenes in Red Alert 3 are all rather funny in a campy parody sort of way- and made even better by the inclusion of Tim Curry and George Takei. This clip in particular made me laugh most, just because I love this idea of a military general being so sarcastic about war.

10. Super Mean Boy

To finish, a joke from Super Meat Boy without any dialogue at all- and it’s all the better for it. There are actually two jokes here, and I’m not sure which I like better. The ‘kick’ part has the surprise element, but the pillow bit is much more subtle and dark. Whichever one you prefer, it’s a funny sequence.

TGS 2011: Metal Gear Solid: HD Collection Trailer

Chris Carlson — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:00:38 +0000

Konami has released a brand new trailer for the Metal Gear Solid: HD Collection, which also showcases Metal Gear Sold 2 gameplay footage for the first time. Ah yes, how those VR missions bring back the memories. There’s also some beautiful footage from Metal Gear Solid 3 as well.

Metal Gear Solid: HD Collection is set to release on November 8th for Xbox 360 and PS3.

22 Brand New Screens From Metal Gear Solid HD Collection

Chris Carlson — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 14:30:40 +0000

Konami has released over 20 screenshots from their upcoming HD remake, the Metal Gear Solid HD Collection. The screens cover all three games from the collection: Metal Gear Solid 2, Metal Gear Solid 3, and former PSP-only entry Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker.

The Metal Gear Solid HD Collection is set to release on November 8th for Xbox 360 and PS3.

Kojima Pushed MGS2 to 60FPS to Make it Feel “Alive” Yet Had to Run MGS3 at 30FPS

Dave Oshry — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 02:39:41 +0000

Hideo Kojima has always been a man with vision, and his games have often felt more like movies.

That being said, according to recent comments on Twitter, Kojima-san pushed MGS2 out at 60FPS to make it feel “alive”

The reason for this is because his old VFX supervisor had convinced him that anything above 45fps made our brains recognize it as more realistic… or something like that.

Anyway, it paid off. MGS2 looked fluid and realistic in a time long before many other producers would even consider a console game at 60FPS.

In fact, MGS3 only ran at 30FPS. However. it looks as if the MGS HD collection will run at 60fps once again!

Kojima later stated that it was just too difficult to get MGS3 running at 60fps ont he PS2, so he reluctantly had it at 30FPS:

He always goes for realistic sensation… baby

Hideo Kojima, keeping you immersed in his games since 19xx ^__^

Proclaimed Fake: PS3 Screenshot Depicting PS2 Download Capability Gets Examined

Chad Lakkis — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:51:59 +0000

Hi, I’m Snake from the PS2. Want to play with me on your PS3? Well too bad.

First off, lets recap the situation for those that are just joining us. Yesterday we (along with many sites) reported that a user (NiTiz) of the popular N4G gaming site posted an image on their forum. The image was supposedly a snapshot of a PS3 interface screen highlighting PS2 download capability.

The user on the N4G forum went on to say that the image was sent to him from an unnamed source within Sony and that his source told him the PS2 download feature would be announced for the PS3 at this years E3. Sony then came out and denied it stating that the screen was fake and that they had no plans for such a service.

Many sites (including ours) reported the Sony was denying the PS2 download rumor, but were also quick to add that this may be another case of corporate double talk on the part of Sony. The company did this a few months ago when rumors circulated regarding a price cut. They claimed to have no plans for it only to have the price cut take effect a few days later.

So we have one side screaming fake and the other side claiming to have an inside source within company. Who is telling the truth? I could have just waited for E3 to find out, but unfortunately I am not that patient.

I have been using Photoshop for over ten years as a web designer, so when I saw the screenshot in discussion I decided to take a closer look to see if I could sort through all the talk on both sides and find something tangible that we could all use as proof to end the speculation once and for all.

At first glance, the image looks pretty good and being that an image like this (if fake) would be created in an application such as Photoshop and then displayed onto a television, it would be nearly impossible to find evidence of tampering unless the individual made a glaring mistake. So with that in mind, any Photoshop detective work is pretty much thrown out the window.

At this point, it’s easy to see how many sites could be fooled by it, but as I was about to give up on the image I noticed something I thought was suspicious and decided to run a Google search against it. Once I found what I was looking for, it was obvious to me that this image was a fake.

Below is a magnified portion of the description text below Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, the game that has been cued up for download in the screenshot. It clearly reads “radical new take on Hideo Kojima’s best-selling tale of stealth, heroism and double-crossing.”

This seemed odd to me, so I ran a search on Google for the words “Metal Gear Solid 2 is a radical new take” and clicked into the first result that popped up. Oddly enough, it was a link that pointed to Konami’s Official European website. I say “oddly” because N4G has a very large European following. The description, as you can see below, is nothing more than a modified version of the listed summary for Metal Gear Solid 2 Substance.

Metal Gear Solid 2 Substance is a radical new take on Hideo Kojima’s best-selling tale of stealth, heroism and double-crossing. Metal Gear Solid 2 Substance retains the ground breaking stealth-based action of its predecessor, with players guiding a series of characters through key terrorist situations.

Top-secret weapons technology is being mysteriously transported under cover of an oil tanker to an unknown destination. It’s up to Snake to infiltrate the transport and keep this deadly weapon of mass destruction from falling into the wrong hands! Snake is back – are you ready?

So why would the person take all this time to fake this screen and then use the wrong description? Well, probably because it is not that easy to find the original description of MGS2 floating around on the web since most Google searches bring up the Substance version. The game description for Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, according to Konami’s Official US site, reads:

Snake returns in the highly anticipated action title, Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty for the PlayStation 2 computer entertainment system. Players take on the role of a one-man army determined to stop a deadly high-tech weapon from falling into the hands of a highly elite resistance group called Dead Cell. Players must utilize their skills in stealth, weaponry and counter-terrorism to fight off the competing powers and destroy the gigantic war machine, Metal Gear Ray.

Hope this helps to put the rumor to bed for good — although I doubt it will, and by pointing this out I have the sneaky suspicion I have just motivated attention hungry Photoshop fakers to up their game. Skeptics will argue that there is still a chance the screen is some early concept on the part of Sony, but frankly I doubt that is the case.

Update: I decided to change the headline of this story based on feedback recieved from readers. I also want to be clear that I am not claiming the PS3 console will never get the ability to download PS2 titles — I am however questioning the validity of the image.