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Ten Funny Scripted Video Game Jokes

Sam Naylor — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 18:00:44 +0000

Games can be funny. More often than not, it’s a glitch or quirk of the game can create hilarious results, or just the nature of the game (see: Just Cause 2). What I thought needed a salute, however, was the scripted humour in video games providing mirthful moments. Adventure games from the 1990s were a goldmine, but I’ve tried not to include them too much here- otherwise it would just be a list of the best jokes Tim Schafer wrote. Here you’ll find an eclectic mix of genres, all with one thing in common: they made me laugh out loud. I’m not saying these are the best, as humour is so subjective, but they’re some of my favourites. If you’ve got better ones, leave a comment.

1. [Subject name here]

This was the first time I properly laughed out loud listening to GLaDOS in Portal. Most of her lines are amusing in an ‘oh-that-was-clever’ way, but for some reason this one really took me by surprise. I still think it’s funnier than most of the iconic stuff about the companion cube, though I can see why those were picked up on by the Internet. In fact, I think this might be the best joke in the whole of Portal canon, simply because it was the only one I could think of word-for-word when making this list.

2. Er… I’m over this way.

I select this particular joke not because it’s the funniest joke in The Secret of Monkey Island, but more because it sets the scene for a superbly-written comedy game. I also happen to think it’s a great example of a joke which is enhanced by being a gamer. We become used to sprites looking weird and not lining up with what they are supposed to be doing, so when it’s pointed out like that, it just makes it even funnier.

3. You can see how good my painting’s getting.

This one’s all the better for the fact that there just aren’t that many jokes in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. The element of surprise just makes it all the better when you see Modryn Oreyn’s attempt at fine art. There are a few jokes to be found in Oblivion, but for me, this one is the best. Unfortunately, I’ve kind of ruined it by featuring it here. Sorry about that.

4. Relax

No video for this one, but as it’s a simple dialogue joke I’ll just quote it instead. This one’s part of a huge line of jokes which hit you one-by-one in the Sam and Max games developed by Telltale, but it’s a personal favourite of mine. As with Portal, it was one of the first jokes that really made me laugh out loud while I was playing- so much so that I remembered it more clearly than any other jokes in the games.

Sam: (looking at Sybil’s “Relax” sign) That’s got to be the least relaxing sign I ever seen.
Max: What about the on at the barbershop that says, “Low Fatality Rate”?
Sam: I stand corrected.

5. Exploder

It would be hard to make a list of the best jokes without including something from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. The old GTA games were full of parodies and jokes, and my favourite comes in the form of a fake advert on the in-game radio station, V-Rock. I would say the whole ad is hilarious, but if you forced me to pick a specific joke, it would have to be “But I’m not married! You are now- to America!”

6. Ahem. Yeah, I’m aware of that.

This joke is great for its sheer simplicity. The animation on the kick in the plums is quite funny in itself, but when Cortez from TimeSplitters Future Perfect replies to the girl in the high voice it makes me laugh every time. This is another joke that stands out in my memory as something I really chuckled away at when I first played it. Great game, by the way, and it has a good sense of humour throughout.

7. Bowser bares all

Paper Mario is littered with references and jokes, and some of the best come in the form of giving personalities to the famous characters. In this aside from the action of the game, Peach discovers Bowser’s diary, where he is seen writing, “Ohh, I’m Mario, I’m so big and strong and good and helpful…”

8. Try to remember the mission, if you can.

There are lots of silly conversations to be had in Metal Gear Solid 2, but this is my pick of the lot. It’s partly a reference to the first game, but partly just Otacon telling Snake off for being a pervert. Great attention to detail in this game, and it’s rewarding to see what kind of reactions you get- especially if you get a gem like this.

9. Sarcastic general

This is probably stretching the definition of a joke, but since it was scripted and makes me laugh, I’m going to include it anyway. The FMV cutscenes in Red Alert 3 are all rather funny in a campy parody sort of way- and made even better by the inclusion of Tim Curry and George Takei. This clip in particular made me laugh most, just because I love this idea of a military general being so sarcastic about war.

10. Super Mean Boy

To finish, a joke from Super Meat Boy without any dialogue at all- and it’s all the better for it. There are actually two jokes here, and I’m not sure which I like better. The ‘kick’ part has the surprise element, but the pillow bit is much more subtle and dark. Whichever one you prefer, it’s a funny sequence.

Steam Winter Sale Day 6: Modern Warfare 2, Dragon Age 50% Off

Dave Oshry — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 21:15:08 +0000

It’s day 6 of Steam’s amazing holiday deals and there sure are some good ones today. Both Modern Warfare 2 and Dragon Age are 50% off – while Arkham Asylum GOTY is 75% off.

Super awesome stuff has been boldified:

90% off all Flatout titles (1, 2, and Ultimate Carnage, sold individually);
75% off Altitude -$2.49
75% off Batman Arkham Asylum GOTY – $7.50
75% off Monkey Island special edition bundle (1+2, both SE; each is 50% off individually) – $3.75
75% off all Red Faction titles (1, 2, and Guerrilla, sold individually)
70% off Tropico 3 gold – $6.00
66% off X Superbox (all included titles also 66% off individually) – $13.60
50% off Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 (original only) $29.99
50% off all Dragon Age Origins titles (original, Awakening, and ultimate edition)
50% off Shank – $7.50
50% off all Splinter Cell titles (the discount for Conviction goes up to 60% if you own Double Agent);
25% off Civilization 5 – $37.49

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s deals – you never know what’s going to pop up!!

Is Bringing Back the Classics Really Worth it?

Brandon Fenty — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 19:23:19 +0000

I recently had the opportunity to play X-Men Arcade on Xbox Live and it instantly brought back memories of dumping quarters by the handful into arcade machines when I was a kid. The nostalgia was awesome, at least for a moment; and then I realized that this game, while great at the time it was released, is now really showing it’s age. The whole experience got me thinking about the recent trend of re-releasing classic games on XBLA, Wii, and PSN.

X-Men Arcade is looking a little dated these days...

Of course, re-releasing these classic games is GREAT for the developers. They just have to do a little work to port the game over to the new system, and they can count on the nostalgia alone to sell plenty of copies. However, once that nostalgia wears off, most gamers are left feeling a little used. Paying $10 for a game that’s almost 20 years old, and really doesn’t have anything new added to it, feels a little bit too much like a cheap cash-in on the developer’s part.

Perfect Dark on XBLA features cleaner textures and models, full 1080p mode, and a higher FPS.

That being said, I like that developers are going back to some of the older styles of gameplay. Shadow Complex, for instance, was a refreshing throwback to the classic Metroid-style side scroller. However, it also brought modern graphics and gameplay to the genre, thus bringing it into the present day. What I’d really like to see is developers using these classic games, such as X-Men Arcade, and bringing them up to more modern gaming standards. Maybe leave in the classic mode as well, but overhaul the graphics, make the game a little longer, and add a few extra gameplay modes to extend the replay value. (Monkey Island: Special Edition comes to mind) Doing so would definitely help these titles to age a bit more gracefully.

Shadow Complex mixes classic gameplay with modern graphics - a winning combo

Sometimes the ports of games that are considered “classic” end up turning out even worse on modern downloadable platforms. Take the recent Sonic Adventure port – a game that was considered a true classic on the Dreamcast somehow got worse on Xbox Live Arcade and SEGA couldn’t even find the time to throw in widescreen support in 2010. However, developers don’t have to remake the entire game like Monkey Island to win us over. Sometimes all it takes is a few new key features – PC classics like Duke Nukem 3D and DooM II benefitted from getting leaderboards and online multiplayer on these new platforms – something many of today’s gamers probably never experienced back when the games were on PC.

Who Wants Some Dukematch?

So where do we draw the line? I think at price. If you’re simply going to port a classic game over to a modern platform without adding anything new – at least price it accordingly. Otherwise I’ll just head down to the arcade and spend my $10 in quarters the old fashioned way.

Psychonauts 2 – Tim Schafer is Ready To Do It

Dave Oshry — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 16:16:29 +0000

Sadly, Tim Schafer has a long history of making great games (Monkey Island, Full Throttle, Psychonauts, Brutal Legend) that for some reason, nobody buys. Perhaps it’s just the small audience that his games appeal to, perhaps it’s his special blend of action and humor, who knows. One thing is for certain, the original Psychonauts was an awesome game.

When asked about a possible sequel, the founder of Double Fine said that he’s ready to do it – He just needs to find a publisher.

We’re pretty sure that after Schafer’s public feud with Bobby Kotick, Activision won’t be publishing Psychonauts 2 anytime soon.

Psychonauts had a cult following around its release, but the popularity of the game has risen lately due to word of mouth and Steam sales. (Yay Steam)

Fellow Monkey Island alum Ron Gilbert joined Double Fine last month, and together they are working on a brand new game. So it looks like we may have a double dose of some very awesome Double Fine games in the near future.

Great news indeed!!

Sourceicus Maximus

Five O’Clock Fan Art: Monkey Island

Dylan Duarte — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 00:00:52 +0000

The Monkey Island series is beloved by many, and this piece of fan art perfectly captures why. It’s beautiful, charming, and Guybrush Threepwood is awesome. Look at the beard! That smile! That nonchalance in the face of danger!

Five O’Clock Fan Art is perfect for wrapping up the work day. You don’t want to think anymore, you just want to look at awesome things. And there’s nothing more awesome than a well crafted piece of videogame fan art. If you don’t agree, what the hell are you doing at a gaming blog?

This piece comes from Paco Vink, and you can see more of his work over at the World of Monkey Island website.

Tim Schafer and Ron Gilbert Working Together Again on Upcoming Game

Dave Oshry — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 19:56:20 +0000

For Reals!?

“We’re getting the band back together!” Is what nobody said today as Ron Gilbert started his first day at old friend Tim Schafer’s Double Fine productions. As of yet, it is uncertain as to what “The Monkey Island Boys” (as I will henceforth call them) will be working on, but whatever it is, I’m sure it will be funny and it won’t suck.

Since the two split ways many moons ago Tim has since been noted for such critically acclaimed releases as Psychonauts and Brutal Legend, whereas Ron has recently pumped out DeathSpank and it’s sequel Thongs of Virtue to much acclaim with Hothead games.

Schafer said that the timing was right to bring Ron in because his studio isn’t currently working on one giant game, but rather four smaller projects.

When asked what Ron’s new title would be at Double Fine, Schafer responded, “He’s the official Ron Gilbert. Though he started out as vice Ron Gilbert, we want to make sure he works out.”

Gilbert says that the new game will be, “An entirely new concept, not a sequel or remake of an existing game … fans of those old adventure games will like it.”

As far as who they might have publish said game, Tim said, “I can’t say who we will go to first … I can say I try to go to the people who sued us last.”

Well, no matter what the future holds, it’s good to see @TimofLegend and @TheGrumpyGamer back together again, and hopefully we as gamers will all benefit from their bromantic relationship soon.

Tim is Metal

Ron is Grumpy

Source: Kotaku

Steam Sale Day 5: Oddworld, Tales of Monkey Island, Dogfighter, and More

Sam Naylor — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 17:17:48 +0000

Today’s set of Steam deals has been revealed, Oddworld, Tales of Monkey Island, Dogfighter, and a handful more.

The all-week deals remain, of course, which can be found scrolling at the top of the page here.

Oddworld seems to be today’s best deal, but Tales of Monkey Island at 66% off is also a really tempting deal. If you want to know a bit more about Dogfighter, you can read our review here.

Rumour: Grim Fandango/Monkey Island remake on the way

Sam Naylor — Thu, 14 May 2009 17:23:57 +0000

In one of the most exciting rumours in a long time, Destructoid has received info that LucasArts will possibly be reviving an old franchise, and note Grim Fandango and The Secret of Monkey Island as possible candidates. In case you didn’t know, I’m a big fan of both. Perhaps it’s a little sad that I’m so optimistic about games being announced that I’ve already played, but I don’t care. I love them both, even with my cold, dry heart.

A Vampyre Story Preview

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 06:26:33 +0000

Normally, a title that uses “vampyre” as an alternate spelling of “vampire” is a cue to run the hell away because you’re entering cheesy goth territory, my friend. However, A Vampyre Story is a PC game being put together by Autumn Moon Entertainment — and some of the brilliant minds behind the Monkey Island adventures — so run the hell towards it.

The story even features the same (loose) historical fantasy-humor blend as Monkey Island: A young and talented singer named Mona De Lafitte is being held deep in the haunted land of Draxsylvania (tell me that’s not fun to say) after being turned into a vampire by the evil (and oedipal) Baron Shrowdy von Kiefer. When Shrowdy fails to return home after haunting the countryside one evening, Mona seizes her chance for escape and flees for home with the help of her friendly pet bat, Froderick. Her journey is barred by strange creatures and plenty of puzzles.

Vampyre Story’s point-and-click interface should come easy to anyone who’s already familiar with Monkey Island, though Vampyre Story’s Carpathian setting makes for some varied gameplay circumstances. For instance, a Gaming Today interview with Autumn Moon’s founder, Bill Tiller, reveals that Mona is in denial about being among the ranks of the undead. Her new vampire powers bring certain pluses and negatives as a result (she probably shouldn’t stand in full sunlight).

The mix of darkness and comedy in the game’s 3D graphics might bring Tim Burton to mind. Not surprisingly, Tiller cites “The Nightmare Before Christmas” as an inspiration for Vampyre’s Story, though the game’s primary inspiration actually lies with the work of Edward Gorey. But according to his interview with Gaming Today, he doesn’t stop there. “I am also heavily influenced by the Hildebrandt Brothers too.”

“So if you combine Edward Gorey, Universal and Hammer Studios horror movies, the Hildebrandt Brothers art, Monkey Island, and Warner Brothers cartoons together, you get the cartoon style in A Vampyre Story. Let’s say I had a lot of influences, Tim Burton being just one of many. Plus he only uses black in his art. I almost never do. I am all about the color.”

A game like Vampyre Story aches for the right kind of soundtrack, and with veteran compser Pedro Macedo Camacho on the job, it should strike all the right notes. Pedro even talked a little bit about his experience writing the music for Vampyre Story in his interview with Ripten. “The soundtrack will be a mix of my own composing language with a bit of inspiration on John Williams’ work in Harry Potter, some groovy pieces that remind me of the Monkey Island setting and folk music from around the world.”

Will A Vampyre Story siphon the fierce love that gamers have reserved for Monkey Island all these years? We’ll find out after a few more full moons: The game’s release date is set at “early 2008.”

Top Ten Developers – #7 LucasArts

James Fleming — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 18:24:27 +0000

To think of LucasArts (formerly Lucasfilm Games) is to think of George Lucas, the man who created it all. The pompadour sporting and flannel wearing visionary gave us Star Wars and Indiana Jones, for which he should be canonized. Some would be happy evolving just one form of media, but it appears that forever changing the face of cinema and inventing the Wookie wasn’t enough for Mr. Lucas. He still had to revitalize another form of entertainment– video games.

In 1982 the video game industry was on a precipice after some very tumultuous years. By the end of 1983, the video game crash was in full swing. Angry gamers were becoming frustrated by aging consoles and yearned for a breath of fresh air. It may not have been the best time to form a new software company, but many of Lucas’s undertakings were never considered financially viable by economic groupthink.

The company began by making low-key action games for the Atari 5200, but would soon find success with adventure games. The adventure genre was a huge market in the late 80′s and early 90′s, and LucasArts became one of the forerunners in developing memorable titles. They got their feet wet with the 1987 classic Maniac Mansion, a hilarious adventure that played off America’s love of B-grade horror films.

Maniac Mansion was the first game to utilize the SCUMM scripting language that would go on to create the company’s most memorable entries over the next 10 years. It also introduced something that would become a staple of LucasArts’ adventure games – humor. Games like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Day of the Tentacle, Sam & Max and the beloved Monkey Island series would set the bar for the funniest and best 2D adventure games of the day. But LucasArts didn’t stop there.

George wasn’t going to let his lucrative franchises in the film industry go unused in this newly discovered market, and Star Wars became the basis of dozens of games for the developer. These games sent fans of the series running to their nearest software retailers faster than Han Solo making the Kessel Run. LucasArts used the Star Wars name to contribute to the flight-sim (X-wing Series), first person shooter (Dark Forces and Jedi Knight Series), role playing (Knights of the Old Republic Series by BioWare) and MMO genres (Star Wars Galaxies). If it was a genre, it had a LucasArts game.

LucasArts continues to make its mark in the gaming world today, with a level of quality that has remained consistent over the majority of the last two decades. While adventure games don’t tend to be a popular commodity and some licenses have failed to make a smooth jump to 3D (I’m looking at you, Dr. Jones), Lucasarts still offers plenty of promise for the future. From the recent collaboration with Industrial Light and Magic and the huge budget that pact provides, we can only hope that Lucasarts will continue to rocket the gaming community to a galaxy far, far away.

Must Haves:
Grim Fandango (PC),
The Monkey Island Series (PC),
Star Wars: X-wing (PC)

Have Nots:
Star Wars Obi-Wan (XBOX),
The Dig (PC)

Top Ten Developer List: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1