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RipTen Retrograde: Hydlide (NES, 1989)

Gavin Bard — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:30:49 +0000

I figured with the recent string of great RPGs being released over the last few months, it was time for me to bring you all back down to earth and give you a reminder that it isn’t always sugar and honey. Kingdoms of Amalur may be the first RPG from Curt Schilling, but Hydlide was one of the first RPGs to ever be released on the consoles in Japan way back in 1984. It originally came out on the NEC PC-6000 and later on the PC-88 before eventually meandering its way over to America on the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1989.

The biggest problem with Hydlide, other than all of its huge glaring flaws I mean, is that when it was finally released in America it was already incredibly dated. Even if it was’t lacking of any real value, America had already suckled at the Legend of Zelda’s supple teats. After seeing what the genre done right was like, there was no chance America would be accepting of the genre done horribly wrong. USA! USA!

Hydlide is a story of a dragon named something who kidnaps a princess named somebody in order to something. Of course, by kidnap I mean he breathes fire at her and turns her into a couple fairies.

Yeah, I don’t really know how that works either. While Hydlide is pretty notorious over here for being the one of the worst things to ever happen to humanity ever, it should also be pointed out that this garnered a huge following in Japan. Sequels were even made on the MSX, Genesis, and Saturn. None of them were very good either. Go figure.

Represented here are the lion’s share of sprites present in this game. That is pretty much all you get to look at for the whole thing. It was aesthetically dated for 1989 on the NES, which is sort of a feat in itself.

Joss Whedon’s “Buffy the Vampire Hold B and Ram Yourself Into Enemies Uselessly Until Hopefully They Die. ”

Anybody want an overused Anchorman reference in lieu of anything unique or funny to say? I could type one here if you wanted. No? Alright. Good choice.

Honestly though, as bad as this is, it still isn’t as awful as having to watch Diary of the Dead.

Sir Jim- High Time’s Stupid Useless Knight of the Year.

He who controls the spice, controls the universe!!!

It was nice of Sharon Carter to help Sir Jim out on his inept journey.

You know how everybody points out that there was no way you would have ever figured out on your own to burn that ONE bush in that ONE spot in Legend of Zelda without outside help? Every single thing you have to do in Hydlide is like that. Every. Single. Thing. Compound that with the least intuitive controls and password system to ever be crapped into gray plastic and you have a perfect recipe for frustration pie.

When you destroy this gravestone, it makes it so you can kill the dragon outside of the castle. A completely logical connection that everybody would easily make without dying a dozen times before accidentally finding it out.

The most climatic battle since the Battle of the Ice! Watch out Hermann of Dorpat! Sir JIM is out for blood.

The oppressive heat of his armor and the pain of his own wounds drove Sir Jim to one knee. “My princess,” he forces out, “I have come to save you.”

“Delightful,” exclaims the three fairies, who are actually the Princess for some odd reason, in unison. “For your bravery in rescuing us, we will reward you with the highest honor- by letting you watch a lesbian fairy orgy.”

Sir Jim looked on with his mouth agape, it was a few minutes before he figured out the way to word his next statement, “Logistically speaking, does that count as incest for you, or masturbation?”

What does one say about Hydlide that hasn’t already been said? From its barely working combat system, to its copyright infringing Indiana Jones overworld theme, to its ugly-even-in-1984 graphics, Hydlide rightfully deserves its place in bad gaming history. I really don’t get how this was so well received in Japan. I understand that it was one of the first actual console RPGs over there, but even when giving it the benefit of the doubt for being groundbreaking in a very loose way it still isn’t good. I don’t care if it came out first, the only way Hydlide could be considered groundbreaking is because you would need a bunch of shovels to bury every copy of the game in the desert.

1 (RIP) to 4 are varying degrees of a bad game. A 1 (RIP) being a game you would actually pay money to not play, and a 4 is something that just barely fails to be mediocre.

Hydlide was developed and published by T&E Soft Corporation, who pretty much only makes golf games now for the record- just saying, for a whole bunch of system before it came to the NES in 1989. This copy was provided to us by yard sales everywhere.

Do you have a game you’d like to see featured in this ~~stupid idea~~ creative and original work of game journalism art? Have you played Hydlide and want to drop your two cents in? Did you actually like this game and want to yell at me because you are clearly insane? If so, let me or RipTen know on Twitter, or in the comments on this very site!

Next Time on the Retrograde: B.O.B.

RipTen Retroview: Space Station Silicon Valley (N64)

Tina Pesterfield — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 01:45:22 +0000

We must admit this is distressing; a world simply cannot exist without petting zoos.

Robots, space ships, and animals – one of these things is not like the other, except when they are combined in DMA Design’s 1998 release for the N64, Space Station Silicon Valley. In this unique platformer, you take control of Evo, a robot who quickly loses his body and becomes naught but a microchip.

Evo and his partner, Danger Dan, are heroes for hire in the year 3000. They are sent to investigate the reappearance of Silicon Valley, a space station created (and lost) in 2001. The two are flying towards Silicon Valley as the game begins, but they disagree on what is appropriate driving music. A scuffle over the radio station ensues, and they smash into Silicon Valley. Evo falls apart in the process of the crash, and his chassis scattered to the x, y, and z coordinates.

No, that is not a cockroach - it is a microchip. Trust us.

As a robot whose body is lost, you must find other robot bodies to inhabit – lest you perish. Luckily, a plethora of animal robots (Silicon Valley was designed to be an amusement park of sorts) inhabit the station. Sheep, foxes, and mice are a few of the first robot bodies you can inhabit. After deactivating the critters, Evo springs into the next body, ready to take on the next challenge. This darling twist on murder and possession is the bread and butter of Space Station Silicon Valley’s gameplay. Each animal has a different power and a different weakness: some walk, some scoot, some fly – some are designed for water, some are designed to slaughter, and some are just adorable. These creatures will all be used to accomplish a goal in the game. Sometimes the need for a specific skill is obvious, and sometimes less so – this is, perhaps, the most enjoyable part of the game.

At heart, this game is a platformer (not some satanic ritual, we promise). You utilize the different skills to maneuver through the levels to reach the transporter. Before the transporter activates, you must meet certain requirements that make up the different missions. You may need to acquire a specific animal body, you may need to turn switches off and on, and sometimes you may need to collect the heads of massacred professors; only after the goals are met will the transporter turn on. Sometimes the transporter will take you to the next level in the environment you are in, and sometimes it will allow you to choose the next environment.

Sheep, penguins, kangaroos, and lions!

There are four different environments, all with animals specifically related to it. The first area is generic, filled with grassy knolls and hills, ponds, and barn animals. There are sheep, dogs, foxes, and mice – as well as some other, more advanced animals. The second area is an icy level, filled with snow hares, huskies, polar bears, and other snow-like animals. The third and fourth are jungle and desert zones, respectively. The number of levels varies per zone, and no two levels are alike – except for the existence of platforms.

Space Station Silicon Valley is a 3-D platformer designed when games were just beginning their 3-D duration. Depth perception is never quite right, and on many occasions you may find yourself reattempting a jump for the second, third, and fourth time. Another problem for platforming in the third dimension is the camera angle; the N64 controller only has one thumbstick and taking your fingers from your precious attack and jump buttons to change the camera angle can get you killed. It doesn’t help that the camera will get stuck or jerk to fixed angles when you are attempting to get a better view of your next jump.

While the levels vary, they are never terribly challenging – you might even call them simple. The “puzzles” aren’t even worth describing as such until you get to the third and fourth zones, and the missions are relatively infantile. Still, it is more challenging that many modern platformers, and not simply because of the weakness of the hardware.

Overall, Space Station Silicon Valley is a very charming game. Despite the weaknesses of its genre (3-D platforming), the game is enjoyable. Taking over robot corpses is not in the least gruesome, and is, in fact, quite pleasant. It is always exciting to find the next animal and experiment with its skills. It is a refreshing change from DMA’s future games (they became Rockstar North, home of the GTA franchise), although perhaps it does lead nicely into the brutality and lack of shame they became known for.

Space Station Silicon Valley can be purchased on Amazon, or if you are lucky enough to have local retailer that carries retro games, give them a call. Evo will be pleased to get its chassis back, even if it has been thirteen years since it was originally lost.

This Handheld N64 Plays The Original Goldeneye!!

Dave Oshry — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 02:45:12 +0000

No, your eyes do not deceive you, that is an actual working handheld N64. Some madman actually went through the entire process of creating it and quite frankly, it’s fucking awesome.

While we don’t know who made it, we do know we would totally buy one.

Anyhow, here are the steps he went through to make this amazing piece of gaming technology:

If you or someone you know has any idea who did this, please, for the love of god email us at Editors@RipTen.com

No, It’s Not April 1st: This Re-Release Of The Commodore 64 Can Run Crysis

Sam Naylor — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 20:56:25 +0000

It seems completely incomprehensible that Commodore USA would re-release the Commodore 64, let alone price it at nearly $900, but that’s exactly what’s happened.

You might have guessed that they’re not just pumping out more of the same old units. No, this time the mancine is packing an Intel dual-core Atom 525 CPU, Nvidia Ion2 graphics, 2 GB of DDR3 memory, and an optical drive. It’ll probably only just run Crysis, but nevertheless imagine telling yourself that in 1982 (assuming you had previously explained Crysis to your past self).

The computer comes in a variety of flavours, which can be found below, as well as a Ubuntu disc and the promise of an emulator of some of the classic (shite) C64 games of the day.

C64x Barebones ($250)

Case, chassis and keyboard

Card Reader (multi format + USB port)

C64x Basic ($595)

Case, chassis and keyboard

Card Reader (multi format + USB port)

Intel Atom D525 1.8 GHz Dual Core CPU

Nvidia ION2 Graphics (DDR3 512 MB)

Motherboard (mini-ITX)

2 GB Memory (DDR2 667/800)

160 GB Hard Drive

C64x Standard ($695)

Case, chassis and keyboard

Card Reader (multi format + USB port)

Intel Atom D525 1.8 GHz Dual Core CPU

Nvidia ION2 Graphics (DDR3 512 MB)

Motherboard (mini-ITX)

2 GB Memory (DDR2 667/800)

Wi-Fi (802.11 b/g/n) and Bluetooth

DVD Tray Drive (R/W)

250 GB Hard Drive

C64x Deluxe ($795)

Case, chassis and keyboard

Card Reader (multi format + USB port)

Intel Atom D525 1.8 GHz Dual Core CPU

Nvidia ION2 Graphics (DDR3 512 MB)

Motherboard (mini-ITX)

4 GB Memory (DDR2 667/800)

Wi-Fi (802.11 b/g/n) and Bluetooth

DVD Slot Drive (R/W)

500 GB Hard Drive

C64x Ultimate ($895)

Case, chassis and keyboard

Card Reader (multi format + USB port)

Intel Atom D525 1.8 GHz Dual Core CPU

Nvidia ION2 Graphics (DDR3 512 MB)

Motherboard (mini-ITX)

4 GB Memory (DDR2 667/800)

Wi-Fi (802.11 b/g/n) and Bluetooth

BluRay Drive

1TB Hard Drive

The reason this is being put out now of all times is, of course, down to marketing executives wagging their mouths in boardrooms. “In 1982, both the original Commodore 64 and Disney’s blockbuster Tron were released,” they say. “Almost 30 years later, they both simultaneously reappear on April 5, 2011. Each Tron Legacy DVD or Blu-ray packet features advertising for Commodore and the new Commodore 64.”

If you really want one you can pre-order here.

Bethesda Demakes Fallout 3 – As An 8-Bit Japanese RPG

Dave Oshry — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 17:31:11 +0000

If you’ve been wondering what Bethesda has been working on – it’s not Skyrim. Instead they’ve demade Fallout 3 into an old school Japanese RPG.

Better yet, you can actually play it!! If you can read Japanese . . .

Here’s what the BethBlog had to say:

What would Fallout look like if it had been made in 1987 by a Japanese development studio? Our scientists have answered that question, taking over the Japanese Fallout website with an 8-bit version of the Capital Wasteland.

Just like that import copy of Final Fantasy 5 you nabbed in the 90s, this game is Japanese language-only. Fortunately, it’s still amusing to gaze at the pixelated approximations of super mutants and the like. Here’s a direct link right to the game; no cartridge-cleaning required.

Sooo, yeah. Go play it – then come back here and tell us what it says. I can’t read Japanese – but I’m pretty sure it says, “War . . . War Never Changes”

Also, how come we don’t get an American version of this sweet looking demake? What gives!?

Ripten Retrograde: Fallout (1997)

Gavin Bard — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 20:00:38 +0000

I guess I should explain what this is.

This isn’t really a traditional review of a game, because video games just advance too quickly to do a traditional bullet-point type review of these older titles. Sure, there is a score at the end, but that is just because most people need to grind up quantified scores and inject them into the webbing of their toes or else they get the cold sweats. I don’t like when people detox during my articles, it lowers my hit counts. Don’t be fooled by the score though, this “Retrograde” experiment isn’t so much a review as it is a stream of consciousness commentary on interesting screenshots from gaming’s past. Sometimes there will be anecdotes or personal stories, other times I will actually discuss the game, and at even other times I’ll probably just make borderline offensive jokes, beat a running gag into the ground, or spoil the ending for you. Think Mystery Science Theater 3000 meets me looking for an excuse to dick around playing awesome retro video games instead of doing real work. This might seem familiar to the three and a third of you who follow me on Tumblr, and it generally seems to entertain one of you, so what the hell, let’s slap a fresh coat of paint on this lemon and call it a Chryslus .

Ah, Fallout. I was around the tender age of 12 when this game came out, and it was one of the first games I can really remember knowing inside and out like it was a warm Tauntaun. I played and beat this game in every possible combination, and fully believe that it deserves it’s place as a near holy relic of those glorious PC gaming salad days. Oh, the 90s, you sure sucked for mainstream music and fashion, but you were awesome for computer RPGs.

For people who haven’t played the original Black Isle (not yet called so) developed Fallout games and are only familiar with the more recent FPS variants of the series, you may be surprised by how familiar a lot of the stuff in this game really seems. Even despite Fallout 1 and 2 being completely different games from a different publisher than Fallout 3 and New Vegas, the attention paid to keeping the lore and atmosphere intact across the entire series is really impressive to look back on.

The plot of Fallout revolves around the Vault Dweller, a member of Vault 13 who is sent into the unknown wasteland to find a replacement for their malfunctioning water chip. What makes the game quite unique, especially for 1997, is that you initially only have 150 days to do it. The wasteland is a huge and dangerous place, so this can be quite challenging on the first playthrough … unless you just Google it or something, but that would make you a time traveler since this game out 13 years ago. You’ve also got to figure that the corpse three feet away from the Vault door probably wasn’t the best first choice for this mission. What possibly could have killed him? Was he deathly allergic to rocks?

All the traveling in the game is viewed through your trusty Pip-Boy, and going from one point to another is what takes the vast majority of time from your main quest. Many of the important destinations can be discovered through talking to NPCs and can help cut your travel time a bit, so it really encourages you to absorb as much of the atmosphere as you can.

At first I thought it seemed really asshole-ish of the Overseer to sit in a huge cyberpunk throne well above the people he is in charge of, but then I realized that in his free time the Overseer fights Sonic the Hedgehog in that thing.

Hey, I didn’t know your mom was in this game. HAH! Burn!

The references to the post apocalyptic inspirations for Fallout are purposely noticeable. Whether it be A Boy and His Dog or Mad Max, you see a lot of little winks and nods to the movies and novels that helped inspire the universe. Two men enter the waist high wooden gated enclosure and one man leaves the waist high wooden gated enclosure.

Darkwaters? Then why isn’t that scantily clad Morrigan chick selling me guns? Wait, that was Darkstalkers. I think I’d rather do my shopping there.

The dialog is one of the strongest points of the game. Fallout brings the wit as well as Wu-Tang brings the ruckus. It’s so hard to resist picking some of the more ridiculous options even though you know they are going to get you into trouble. It makes it easier if you tend to roleplay as a raging asshole though.

Skum Pitt. Still sounds classier than the places I usually go to.

By far, the most impressive part of the first Fallout game is the atmosphere. Every single piece of the game just exudes nuclear wasteland. From the caravans and the trader communes to the insane cults and technology hoarding armies, the aesthetics combine to make this really feel like the retro-futuristic apocalypse it is supposed to be.

Suddenly, I have the overwhelming urge to watch some Troma films.

Meanwhile, on the set of Starship Troopers…

Now I know how my black friend feels anytime he visits the south.

Another aesthetically pleasing strong point is the game’s voice acting. While there isn’t a ton of it, and only a handful of characters have rendered animation or voice acting, the parts that are there are highly professional. You’ll probably be doing the whole, “Where do I know that voice from” thing plenty of times, so to save you some time I’ll get that part over with for you- Hellboy, MacGyver, The Lobe from Freakazoid, Monk, Raymond’s brother from that show about everybody loving him, Childs from The Thing, Bull Shannon, and Mortanius. This has been a public service.

Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it Boba Fett, stay away from that Sarlacc pit!

The combat plays out in a strategic RPG fashion. Depending on a number of factors, you or your enemy will start the battle, at which point you have a number of action points to spend on things like using your inventory, shooting your weapon, and even reloading. For those who have only ever been exposed to the franchise through Fallout 3 or New Vegas, VATS is present in its original form here and helps to add another level of tactics to the game. The combat isn’t overly deep, although there are a fair amount of weapons to decimate the games various mutated baddies with, but it is certainly deep enough. Oh, and if you said, “That’s what she said,” chop yourself in the throat for me.

One of the best things about Fallout is how organic the world seems. Whether through the rich dialog, clues in the surroundings, or just good ol’ fashion history collectin’, pretty much every aspect of the game you would be curious about is explained or, at least, made to make as much sense as can be made in a world where radioactive ghouls and super mutants roam the land.

This is actually exactly what it looks like when you cross the Benjamin Franklin Bridge into New Jersey.

“You may be a doctor. But I’m the Doctor.”

Like any good game of this type, most of the major quests have plenty of different ways to finish them. There are some hiccups with this, as there seem to be in every Fallout game, and some of the quests are as fragile as Sam Jackson in Unbreakable. The littlest misstep can make quests impossible to finish no matter how far through one you are. Sometimes it is a bit on the realistic side, most people won’t give you money after you make fun of them even if you did kill a horde of raiders, but more often than not it just seems like programming loose ends.

Figures. It’s the end of the world and they still have Republican National Conventions.

Doesn’t this guy know what happened to the last person with a name like “Mr. Handy” when they got sexual? At least he wasn’t asking for a horse right! Haha-

…ha.

In the end, Fallout is really one of the best PC games ever made. In the wasteland of PC gaming, Fallout is living a lavish existence in a cobbled together village with games like Deus Ex, Diablo, and Planescape: Torment. With a ton of concentrated atmosphere, engaging gameplay, and a great story with an appropriately wow-the-world-fucking-sucks-doesn’t-it ending, this is definitely the classic that all the cool kids always said it was. If you haven’t played this, you probably should or else you might lose your geek license. In fact, you should play through it before you even start New Vegas, just like I’m doing. That way you don’t have to write about anything substantial or important and can just make tasteless jokes relating to screenshots you took of a 13 year old game.

I mean, uh, I’m a serious journalist!

Fallout was developed by Black Isle Studios and published by Interplay for DOS, Windows, and eventually the stupid Mac like a hundred years later probably, amirite! The game released in North America, the best America, on September 30th, 1997. The copy used in this review was for Windows and given to me by my dad for Christmas 13 years ago, even though my mom totally wasn’t happy with me playing a mature rated game which probably lead to their divorce or something. Fallout was played until completion infinite times for around My Entire Adolescent Life hours.

Next time: Fallout 2

Five O’Clock Fan Art: Out of This World

Dylan Duarte — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 00:00:42 +0000

Remember Out of This World? It was, for lack of a better term, out of this world. Unless you lived outside North America, then it was called Another World. But it was still out of this world, and was released for a million systems.

Five O’Clock Fan Art is perfect for wrapping up the work day. You don’t want to think anymore, you just want to look at awesome things. And there’s nothing more awesome than a well crafted piece of videogame fan art. If you don’t agree, what the hell are you doing at a gaming blog?

Today’s flashback* fan art is the work of Luke Denby and is titled Boy Meets World.

*Flashback was a 1992 game from the same publisher, often mistaken as a sequel to Out of this World due to the similar visual style and gameplay. I made a clever reference.

The Chipophone: A Chiptune Electric Organ

Sam Naylor — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 20:28:50 +0000

When Swedish software engineer and musician Linus Åkesson was given an old electric organ, he didn’t just resign it to the corner of the room. No, he first turned it into an amazing chiptune-playing masterpiece, capable of putting out endless amounts of classic music from the old days of gaming on the fly- and then put it in the corner of the room.

Luckily, he also made some footage of the Chipophone while it was there, so we can all revel in its beauty. Below you’ll find a video demonstrating the features of the Chipophone, as well as one demonstrating Linus’ skills as a musician playing the theme from the ZX Spectrum game Spellbound.

Spellbound:

I don’t know exactly what it is about this thing, but it’s completely captivating to listen to. I think it might be that most chiptune music you hear isn’t being played live. It’s mystifying enough watching someone recreate videogame tunes on a normal instrument, but this is even stranger, since it sounds so true to how it used to be. Why not let us know what your favourite piece of chiptune music of all time is? I’ve got to plump for the Tetris theme. Perhaps because it’s a great tune, but double perhaps because it’s been drilled into my brain from years of Tetris.

If you want to know how this thing was built, check out the website here.

[Via Kotaku]

This is a Super Subtle Star Fox Shirt

Sam Naylor — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 10:27:19 +0000

Joseph Baum has designed a wonderfully subtle Star Fox T-Shirt- and guess what? It’s for sale. As you can see, the shirt features Peppy Hare, Slippy Toad, Fox himself, and Falco Lombardi, all nonchalantly standing on the moon.

The shirt is for sale at Threadless here, for just $18. Well, not just $18: it’s $5 for US shipping and $10 for Standard International shipping. So nearly thirty dollars for someone like me, then. Still, I think it might even be worth it- it’s really a fantastic shirt, and the designer should be commended. So, here I go: Well done, Mr. Baum!

[Via Dtoid]

Pac-Man Entering Video Game Hall of Fame

Sam Naylor — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 10:10:02 +0000

Pac-Man and Namco founder Masaya Nakamura are to be entered into the International Video Game Hall of Fame in a few weeks’ time. This comes as a part of the Hall of Fame’s “Big Bang 2010″ event, which will feature tournaments, celebrities, concerts, and a whole lot of Pac-Man.

“We’re going to be focusing a ton on Pac Man,” said Dan Canny, vice president of the IVGHOF board. Unfortunately Nakamura won’t be attending the ceremony, but ““A team of corporate folks from Namco [are coming]… We’re still working out their schedule.”

Ottumwa Central Park is even being renamed “Pac Man Park” for the duration of the event.

I just have one question about all the celebrations and inductions:

How has Pac-Man not been inducted into the Hall of Fame already?

[Via GoNintendo]

The Expendables Gets Free-to-Play Contra Clone on Facebook

Sam Naylor — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:34:55 +0000

If you keep up with the media world, you’re likely to have heard about The Expendables- an action film to end all action films. If you’ve got an account then you can warm up for the movie’s release with this 8-Bit Facebook game.

As you can see, The Expendables is going to be brilliant. It’s already decided- Stallone, Arnie, and Willis all in the same film? How can it fail? It doesn’t even need to have any kind of narrative or acting (not that I’m expecting either) to become the best action movie for years and years.

If you “like” the film’s Facebook group, you can have access to the game. It’s a Contra clone, so you know what you’re getting yourself into (shooting and that).

Before I sign off, I’d just like to point out that Machete is going to be better.

[Via Joystiq]

Super Mario Bros. Curb-Stomping ‘Match Moving’ Gameplay (Video)

Chad Lakkis — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:28:47 +0000

Every video game loving kid at one point or another has been scolded by their parents to “go outside and stop playing your damn video games!” Most of us would just grab our mobile gaming device and head outside, but this little “Match Moving” curb side study by Andreas Heikus, a “young compositor fresh from University hunting for a job,” will open your eyes to a totally different method for achieving outdoor video gaming bliss.

What is “Match Moving” you ask? Good question. Wikipedia defines it as “a visual-effects technique that allows the insertion of computer graphics into live-action footage with correct position, scale, orientation, and motion relative to the photographed objects in the shot.” How exactly is all of that done? Via the use of live footage, 3D animation software, and a composting process that combines the two for a seamless result. In other words, gaming on your curb is not exactly as simple as the video makes it look, but it’s still pretty cool none the less. Check it out below.

[Source: Destructoid]

Gaming Dilemma: Why Re-Make When You Can Just Make?

Sam Naylor — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 22:08:50 +0000

The online marketplaces of XBLA, PSN, and WiiWare have been a great place for gamers and developers alike. We’re seeing more small (and large) developers than ever before pushing out great games for these platforms, and the market for them can only get bigger. We’re seeing more original game concepts than ever before on these platforms, alongside a collection of classic games.

The current generation of consoles seems to be a perfect place for development teams to test news ideas, push out interesting concepts, or just work on short, well designed games. Think about games like Braid, Flower, Cave Story, or World of Goo. These games were released to great critical acclaim, and featured great, original concepts which were very well executed.

However, these markets, along with the DS, seem to have promoted quite a few remakes of old games. It’s not just the new markets that we see remakes for, but they are what prompted me to write this article. The classic games available on the virtual marketplaces (i.e. the Virtual Console) have been great, but full remakes of games have started to pop up everywhere. Perfect Dark was remade for XBLA, along with Earthworm Jim. The first two Monkey Island games have been updated for most platforms, as well as the original Prince of Persia. Boy and His Blob was even remade for Wii.

I see this as a problem. Not because these are not great games, or indeed great remakes. The remakes of Monkey Island, for example, were very good indeed. In fact, I enjoy playing these remade games a great deal. The problem, I feel, is that they represent a wasted opportunity.

The teams working on these games clearly have a lot of really good developers working on them. The quality of the remakes is testament to that in many examples. Why then are these people not creating new and innovative games? I realise that games are made to make money, but that doesn’t mean that new games don’t sell. If, for example, the development team that created the brilliant remake of Super Street Fighter II Turbo had been put on to a team to create a completely new 2D fighter, I feel that the quality would be high enough for the game to sell perfectly well. We’d also have a brand new fighting game to sink our teeth into, and new players would have a great place to start.

Even Nintendo are guilty. In fact, they might be the worst offenders. We’ve already seen two remakes for a platform that has not even been released yet- Star Fox 3DS and Ocarina of Time 3DS. Don’t get me wrong, I will buy and love these games, but I still feel like the development teams on these games ought to be spent on creating new games with new characters, or even just new games in a series. Just think- we could have had a new 3DS Zelda game (or indeed a new IP). Obviously a remake is much easier to do than a brand new game, but as I have said- the potential to create new rather than old is there.

Although there are a lot of good remakes, sometimes they just cannot capture the magic of the original. Perfect Dark, Earthworm Jim and Vigilante 8 were all great games. When released, they were some of the best games that one could ever play. Now, though, they are not. They have all had remakes, and they seem antiquated and just do not play well. That’s because these old games were not designed as well as games are now. They were good when they were the best available, but game design has advanced so much since then that they end up being purely nostalgia trips. That’s fine for some- but again, the resources pumped into those remakes could have been put into something much more interesting and well designed.

Games remain an artifact of their time. This is why I am skeptical of the new GoldenEye game for Wii, for example. Although going back to GoldenEye on N64 is a nice little nostalgia trip, one can tell straight away that it is just not a good game by today’s standards. For PC gamers, it wasn’t even close to being the best shooter, but for console players it was the messiah needed to push the genre onto their platform- and with four people playing, it was an absolute blast. Imagine playing a brand new game, with a great multiplayer component and great level design- one designed not for online play, but for you and your mates. Why must that game be trying to be GoldenEye? Well, because it sells units- and it will be of a lesser quality as a result, because they’ve got the name, and don’t need the review scores.

Think about the God of War Collection for PS3, as well as the upcoming Sly Raccoon collection. There are development teams that have spent a lot of time converting these games to the new platform. Once again, why couldn’t these teams be creating a brand new game instead of making some not-even-old games HD? God of War II is only three years old- no matter how good, it just doesn’t need a remake.

Obviously they did a great job, and have created a new audience as well as allowed people who might not have had a PS2 to play these games, but the time used to make these things happen could have been used to begin on a new game that will create an even bigger audience. Perhaps they could have even spent more time on God of War III, or InFamous, to make them even better. Perhaps the funds that went into updating the old games could have gone into marketing the new games better. In a way, a really good remake is even worse; when it’s obvious there was a lot of love in a remake, it just makes me feel bad that that love could have gone into a brand new game.

I’d like to reiterate just once more that I have played and loved a good number of remakes. In fact, almost every time Nintendo remakes one of their old games, I’m straight on them. However, as I play, the childlike glee that happens on the outside is undercut by a feeling that had the development time gone into something new, I could have eaten my cake and had it too. I could have been playing Mario 64 on my N64, and had a new Mario game to play on the DS. I could have been playing Pokémon Red on my Game Boy, and had a new Pokémon game to play on the GBA. I could even have been playing Monkey Island on the PC, and had a new 2D adventure game to sink my teeth into.

Interactive 8-Bit Twilight: Eclipse Game Presents A Dangerous Conflict

Demi Adejuyigbe — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 00:43:16 +0000

Twilight is the bane of the existence of many gamers. Sure, it’s a horrible, vapid series, but many of us make such a judgment based on the premise alone, without wanting to read the book or watch the movie. Having done both (I can explain, you guys, put down the bats) I can confirm that it is as uninspired and poorly written as we all think (It is the Yaris of the literary world.) but because of that, I now have a dilemma.

On one hand, I could tell you about this interactive Twilight: Eclipse game based on the movie, and explain that it’s actually a really neat use of YouTube’s interactive annotations feature. On the other hand, I could turn a blind eye to it, scoff and say “Twilight is for dumb eleven year old girls.” In this case, I think it’s best to just leave the first video above and let you make your decision as to whether or not to play it. (And then whether or not to tell people that you played it.)

Lemmings Ported to Four Different Platforms in Just 36 Hours

Sam Naylor — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 17:08:11 +0000

Mobile 1UP developer Aaron Ardiri has managed to port a PalmOS version of the classic game Lemmings over to four different platforms in a space of just 36 hours.

Ardiri managed to port the game and get it up on the iPhone App Store and Palm App Catalog, Windows, and Mac (click to download- all versions are free).

A video of the iPhone version can be spotted below. It’s a huge feat to port and entire game over to another platform in a day, let alone four in 36 hours. You should be very impressed, and then go and play Lemmings to celebrate. What’s that? It’s a bit shit nowadays? Shh! Don’t tell him.

Ripten Review: Tecmo Bowl Throwback

Dan Hynes — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 04:52:15 +0000

Long armed touchdown passes, sixty-five yard field goals with room to spare, and cut scenes after a critical sack are back. Tecmo delivers to us a full refresh of an old classic. If you were a fan of the original Tecmo Bowl you will enjoy Tecmo Bowl Throwback.

In the early 90s, I played many football games– from Madden to NFL Quarterback Club, but I always came back to Tecmo as my game of choice. I loved the simplicity of the controls and how easy the scores could be run up. Tecmo Bowl Throwback brings us back to this much simpler time of football gaming, and I for one welcome it!

This review will be covering the PS3 version of the game. It is available now on the PlayStation Network for $9.99. So now lets jump into the details.

The Looks:

It’s clear that the team at Tecmo spent some serious time sprucing up the look of the game. The new HD graphics really make Throwback very enjoyable, and it felt like I was playing the original Tecmo for the first time all over again. There is a cool feature with this re-design, in that if you press the R1 shoulder button, you can switch between the 16:9 HD view and the classic 4:3 view. As embarrassing as it may be, I found this feature by accident as I was mashing buttons. I was surprised when it happened and actually laughed out loud. Now, you might not want to play a whole game that way, but it is something cool to do once and a while just for the nostalgia of it.

They have some cheerleaders in the game as well. And if you like twins, this remake was meant for you, because they have about six cheerleaders showing at a given time, but in reality, they are just three set of twins. My guess is that the developers either ran out of time and could not create three more unique cheerleaders, or they were just lazy and figured no one would notice.

The Teams:

Without an NFL license, the developers could not really put in any real names or logos. What they did give us though, was the ability to change the city names and player names. So if you wanted to take the time to key in the roster to your favorite team, you could do just that, though there wasn’t any choice of logos or the ability to change a team’s colors unfortunately.

The Gameplay:

I think this is where the game stays true to it’s predecessors the most. There are only eight plays to choose from (four run and four passes) regardless of what side of the ball you are on. When on defense, if you pick the same play as your opponent, you automatically perform an all-out blitz. This brought back a ton or memories for me and will likely do the same for other long time fans.

You have the ability to choose plays from a separate playbook (even when you are in a game) but you can still only have the eight base plays active on your screen at a time.

As far as game modes, there are a few you can choose from.

On the Single Player side you have:

Preseason – you can play a quick game, that means nothing. It is a great way to get a feel for the game.

Season – There are a few built-in seasons that you can play. Just like the old Tecmo Bowl, it will simulate the other games until it gets to yours, then you can play.

TECMO All Stars – you can play with the bets players from each conference.

On the multplayer side you have:

Local Multiplayer – Play with a friend (or enemy) who just so happens to be with you.

Online Multiplayer – From here you can do a quick match – just find a random player, a custom match, you set the field conditions and time limit, anyone can join this. Then there is a Create Match feature which allows you to create ranked or player matches, or even a private match.

I found the multiplayer matches to be a bit laggy for me. They were still playable, so I can’t complain too much. And don’t worry too much if your button memory doesn’t come back immediately, Tecmo Bow Throwback has a nice little How to Play tutorial built right in.

Conclusion:

Overall I love the simplicity that is this game. It’s my opinion that there is a market for this type of game. Especially as Madden gets more and more complex and realistic. This is just the opposite and fans of old school sports gaming will enjoy it.

It is meant to be a quick and enjoyable game. Yes, of course it is missing many features that you would expect from most modern football games, but this game never pretended to be that. Heck, it even has Throwback in the title. I really enjoyed playing this and while the trip novelty does wear off over time, it’s still a fun addition to your gaming library.

I wish it didn’t have the online lag, and a little less repetition in the graphics would have been nice too. It is not a perfect game, but it’s fun to play. Oh and in case you were wondering, the answer is yes — you can still throw a 100 yard touchdown pass in the air :-)

Tecmo Bowl Throwback was developed by SouthEnd/Tecmo and published by Tecmo for the Xbox 360 (XBLA) and PlayStation 3 (PSN). The game released in the United States on April 28th (XBLA) and June 1st (PSN) with a retail price of $9.99 USD. The copy used in this review was for the PSN and purchased by Ripten. The game was played for several hours across single player and multiplayer modes for the purpose of this review.

Ocarina of Time Coming to 3DS

Sam Naylor — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 09:24:15 +0000

Shacknews reports that just before Nintendo’s roundtable discussion session with Shigeru Miyamoto and Eiji Aonuma, a teaser trailer for a 3DS version of the N64 classic Ocarina of Time was shown, confirming that the game will be coming to the platform.

The teaser showed footage of Link riding Epona, and showed off the fact that 3D will be incorporated into the 3DS version of the game. Eiji Aonuma also apologised for the Water Temple level design, promising that using the Iron Boots will this time be easy thanks to the touch screen.

Nintendo fans love a bit of retro gaming, so this I’m sure will be music to their ears. The reason I know this is because this news is music to my ears. I can’t wait- the Mario 64 remake for DS was fantastic, and I expect this to be just as good.

Good Old Games Holiday Offers: Tex Murphy, Might and Magic

Sam Naylor — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 15:53:58 +0000

GoG.com are offering some great deals for nostalgia-hungry PC gamers this Christmas. First of all, the Might and Magic pack can be purchased for the measly sum of twenty of your so-called “Dollars”. Not bad for four games that are both good and old.

Secondly, the first two Tex Murphy games, in which you play a PI who operates in both San Fransisco and on Mars, are completely free. Honestly, no strings- they really are free. A good deal in anyone’s book, surely. I just checked my book, and it’s right there on page 6: “Tex Murphy for free is a good deal.”

Splatterhouse Shoes

Chad Lakkis — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 22:44:20 +0000

Fans of the Namco 1988 beat ‘em up title “Splatterhouse” not only have a remake to look forward to in 2010, but can now sport Splatterhouse branded shoes for the low low price of $79.99. If you want these red and black video game inspired booties, put down your replica Splatterhouse machete and head on over to GLOBE.TV.

Have something you think we should show on Geeked-Out? Email it to us.

Left 4 Dead NES Remake Strangely Resembles Aussie Censored Next Gen Sequel

Chad Lakkis — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:14:34 +0000

My tendency to go with overly descriptive and often lengthy headlines sort of leaves me grasping for additional things to say in the body copy at times. This isn’t one of them.

The video below showcases an NES remake of Left 4 Dead, complete with instantaneous vanishing bodies and bloodless kills. Remind of you of a more modern censored sequel of the same game? Hmm?

While the absence of persistent zombie corpses lying in puddles of their own blood does remind me of the Australian censored Left 4 Dead 2 game, the NES version of L4D isn’t completely void of blood. It does offer a few random splatters on floors and walls to help set the mood, and that’s more than we can say about its Aussie counterpart. Don’t take my word for it though, check it out for yourself.

[Thanks GoNintendo]