Come on, Snake! Take advantage of that head placement!

Excited public interest and discussion, especially over a minor or ridiculous cause – that’s what brouhaha means for the vocabularily challenged out there. For all you wordsmiths that already knew that, please don’t bust my balls on the word “vocabularily”. Anyways, The Brouhaha is a new column here at Ripten where you all can discuss something ridiculous, subject chosen by us, of course. This week, the topic on the table is: Solid Snake’s manliness.

For starters, most people over the age of 12 are well aware that Solid Snake is a euphemism for “boner”. In fact, everything about Metal Gear Solid is totally perverted. From the naked, cartwheeling Raiden in MGS2 to the codename of Big Boss in MGS3, Naked Snake (because they didn’t use condoms back in 1964), everything is about dongs (and nakedness). Seriously, do you remember the Twin Snakes print ads?

I mean, come on! The game is called Twin Snakes, and here we see two dudes standing back to back with the triggers of their pistols very clearly showcasing wang. I find it hard to believe the placement of those triggers wasn’t intentional.

Throughout the series, Snake has come across very James Bond-like, especially with that opening sequence in MGS3. Unlike Bond, however, do we know if Snake has ever really scored with any of his leading ladies? He chats it up real smooth with Meryl, Natasha, Naomi, Mei Ling, Otacon, and your mom — and that’s just the first Metal Gear Solid — yet does he ever get anywhere? Is Solid Snake capable of fathering children, or is that something only Liquid Snake can do?

I’m sure that there are plenty of you that are more geekified in Metal Gear lore than I am, and maybe you know the answers to some of these questions. Maybe there was a cutscene I missed that has Solid Snake making out with one of the many chicks that have been in his games. Maybe Snake is just covering his homosexual urges to do naked cartwheels with Raiden. Perhaps all of these questions will be answered in MGS4…

Subject acquired. Please discuss.

Hideo’s coming to good ole’ Blighty! Naturally not for a holiday, but to please all the Snake fans. On Monday 2nd June, Metal gear fanatics will be able to meet Hideo Kojima and series’ artist Yoji Shinkawa at HMV’s Oxford Street store in London’s West End.

Hideo and Yoji will be in the store from 12 noon to meet fans and sign HMV’s exclusive MGS4 pre-release sleeves.  Sadly this will be an exclusive affair. Only those who have bought one of only 300 sleeves (via an MGS4 preorder) will get the chance to meet Snake’s creator. If you want to try your luck, the sleeves will be available from 9am on the day.

London won’t be Kojima’s only stop. On June 11th, he’ll be signing copies of MGS4 at the Times Square Virgin Megastore in New York.

In other MGS4 news, PSW magazine is reporting that some (yes, plural) of the cutscene’s will reach 90 minutes in length. That’s a collection of full length feature films tucked into your Metal Gear. Thankfully they can be paused, skipped and even interacted with.

Worried if it’s all style and no substance? Never fear, journalists who have played through the game have reported it to be 30 hours in length, with two thirds consisiting of pure gameplay. New screenshots can be found in our gallery.

*Update* - Sid Shuman of Gamepro is reporting that the “90 minute cutscene” comments from PSW are greatly exaggerated:

Like the other MGS games, MGS4 definitely has a cinematic quality. And yes, some of the cut-scenes in the game are elaborate and occasionally lengthy. But not a one, to my recollection, even approaches 90 minutes.

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In a mega-post today, Konami has revealed further details about the numerous Metal Gear Solid 4 software and hardware packages—including box art for both the standard and limited editions of MGS4 and the standard edition PS3 hardware bundle. Why call it a standard edition hardware bundle? Well, because there’s going to be a not-so-standard one too. Kojima, you torture us. The “gunmetal grey” PS3, seen as part of the MGS4 hardware bundle in Japan, is going to be making it to North America in what is called a “very, very limited edition” offering.

For sure the “gunmetal” PS3 will only be available in this package, and a similarly colored Dualshock 3 along with it, but whether or not the MGS4 Limited Edition will also be included is unknown. It seems a logical expectation.

How much more might this package cost? That is being kept under wraps, but with the LE costing $25 more than the standard edition of MGS4 I’d expect that, plus something for the special system—say, $550 total—if the LE is included. Any more than that seems unwarranted, but final judgment will have to wait.

Standard Edition Box Art

Limited Edition Box Art

No box art for this package was shown and the contents beyond the hardware were withheld as well, though everything else about the other packages has been laid bare.

The standard edition will have an extreme close-up of Solid Snake as its cover, while the limited edition will sport a much snazzier piece of Yoji Shinkawa artwork featuring Liquid Ocelot and Solid Snake, as well as the bonus content. Those who care will definitely be drawn to the LE on appearance alone. The LE will also only be available through GameStop.

If you’re feeling crazed and feverish over the limited edition hardware, we’ll have more details as soon as humanly possible.

Konami has a “special surprise” scheduled for Monday, April 14, 2008, but aren’t saying more than that.

Source: blog.us.playstation.com