Resident Evil 5 and the U.S. Army? Where do I sign up??!??!!

The only thing comparable to the way I feel when I see U.S. Army recruiters mixed into events packed with teenage kids would be witnessing Michael Jackson driving a bus load of Catholic priests to Chuck E. Cheese for a quick bite to eat.

I know I may take some heat for this, but I couldn’t help but notice the “GO ARMY” recruitment tent mixed into the Best Buy Resident Evil 5 launch party video (which you can also see after the jump). I don’t mind the idea of recruiters but what I do mind is the methods by which they often recruit.

This isn’t the first time the U.S. Army has been accused of blurring the lines between gaming and recruiting. Promoting an official U.S. Army videogame and lacing their official army game website to contain soldier bios designed to look like videogame stat cards is youth marketing at its finest. Look at all the stats you can wrack up kids – assuming you don’t die first.

Hit the jump for the RE5 launch party video as promised.

Video source: Kotaku

Maybe Jack Thompson isn’t as crazy as we all know he is, and the Department of Defense actually is training an army of super soldiers through video games. Or maybe he is crazy and the Army is just jumping on the Halo 3 bandwagon.

Either way, The Army has teamed up with Microsoft to offer all you scum suckin’ maggots a chance to prove you aren’t a worthless lump of dog excrement – by putting together a Halo 3 Tournament, exclusively on Xbox Live.

Registration starts in March and the tournament starts in April, with prizes for winners and finalists. So if you think you’ve got game, prove it, and you could be the lucky winner of an all-expenses paid trip to a land of sun and sand (and oil). Or maybe just some exclusive Halo swag and Microsoft goodies.

For those interested in getting a little pre-tournament practice, There will also be some training drills to keep your skills sharp. Team Xbox reports there will be training sessions for sniping, heavy weapons and vehicles.

Registration for the first of three training sessions begins on Jan. 7, with gameplay beginning exclusively on Xbox LIVE on Jan. 19. Winners of these Basic Combat Training sessions will receive prizes, including Microsoft Points, exclusive “Halo 3” art, and more.

The Basic Combat Training schedule is as follows:

* Registration begins: 1/7, Training begins: 1/19 – Sniper School
* Registration begins: 1/28, Training begins: 2/9 – Heavy Weapons
* Registration begins: 2/18, Training begins: 3/1– Vehicles

Registration is open now, so get your butt into boot camp you useless ape, and earn the name “Spartan.”