Write for Ripten

Would you like to spend all day playing videogames, eating lavish foods, and hanging out with beautiful people? Would you like an open forum to share your superior knowledge of all things geek, putting forth little to no effort and getting paid ass-loads of cash for it? Yes? Well, so would we, but that doesn’t happen here.

Instead, we donate organs just to get some hands-on time with games that were released last year. Okay, not really — that would be stupid. We do actually get some free stuff from publishers, and if there is a press event, you will likely see our ugly mugs there. Although it may seem as if we are stalking Cliffy B, we totally are not.

Our team works from home for the most part, although from time to time, we like to close our eyes and pretend we’re in OZ (not the prison).

Below you will find a bulleted job description . If at any point while reading you feel this isn’t for you, click your heels and head the fuck home.

• You will be yourself. If you find that your strength is your witty sense of humor, run with it like a pair of scissors down a poorly lit hallway. Conversely, if you suck at entertaining others, inform the hell out of them and you’ll do just fine.
• Pack your bags and spread your wings. You will be asked to attend events with us. We don’t do individual rooms, and we don’t stay at $500 a night hotels. Our accommodations often involve a few people crashing on the floor. If you can’t take that then you best learn to levitate before the lights go out. We don’t take kindly to spooners (unless you buy us dinner first).
• You will write with conviction, and you will often write for free. If your words compel readers to flock to the site in droves, bonuses will be handed out to you in the form of cotton candy.
• You will play nice with others. If we ever catch you referring to yourself in the third person, we will bury you (along with your ego) in our back yard.
• You will be prepared to work. Blogging is not as easy as some may think it to be. If you do not think you will be able to contribute 1-3 posts per day please don’t waste our time or yours. We are not in the business of padding high school resumes.
• You will be at least 18 years of age. If you wrote your first novel at age 5 we may be willing to make an exception.

If this sounds like something you might want to do, you are probably crazy, and we’d love to have you. Send a few samples along with a brief cover letter to chad@ripten.com.